The trend is ongoing in Afghanistan, many spend thousands of US dollars on weddings. in a country where people can afford so little, barely a meal on the table, this is a burden.
Yes i am opposed to expensive weddings for many reasons, some are as follows:
1) it's nothing but showing off... competition (As the article below explains)
2) not everyone can afford expensive weddings and therefore earn themselves a deadly debt
3) once they have a debt, the newly wedded couple will have to earn enough money for the next few years to pay it off
4) most importantly, ITS UNISLAMIC- yet, it's the muslims that have the most expensive weddings. shame!
5) quantity doesnt necessarily mean quality weddings.
6) the list goes on...
But here's the article i came accross today!
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar...
Mullahs spoil the party
By Sayed Yaqub
Ibrahimi
August 28 - Religious council bans lavish wedding parties
in Balkh province to prevent locals bankrupting themselves. (IWPR) One of the
first cultural icons to reappear in Afghanistan after the fall of the Taleban
were Wedding Halls - usually gaudy glass palaces that serve as the venue for
what is, arguably, the most important event in an Afghan's life. Weddings, and
the attendant parties, form the backbone of the Afghan social scene. But the
cost of the dinner, music, clothing and other accoutrements of the celebration
have driven many a young man to desperation.
Now, the Ulema, or
religious council, in the northern province of Balkh have come up with a
solution: They have banned most the expensive festivities altogether, provoking
hope and outrage in almost equal measure. In mid-July, the Ulema Shura of Balkh
issued a fatwa: except for one engagement party, they ruled, all celebrations
should be held in the home, to cut down on expenses. "It's like the Taleban,"
grumbled Jamshid, 24, a resident of Mazar-e-Sharif. "We have only one wedding in
our life. It's our dream, and people should be able to spend whatever they want.
It's not up to the government to ban it." But the Balkh government has supported
the Ulema's decision, and is taking steps to enforce it. Copies of the fatwa
have been sent to all hotels, and nailed in a prominent place on their walls.
"This decision is for the good of society, and we support it," said Atta
Mohammad Noor, governor of Balkh. "People are giving parties like competitions,
just trying to show that they can do it. But it disrupts the entire social
system. People have lost their way, and we are trying to bring back a little
order."
This is not a Taleban-style attempt to prevent parties, he
insisted. "People can make a wedding for a few hundred dollars in their homes,"
he said. “The current situation is a disaster. We're just trying to prevent
that." According to the Balkh authorities, two commissions have been formed to
police the ban - one will promote public awareness of the measure, and the
reasons for it; the other will monitor wedding halls to make sure the new rules
are being observed. "If anyone violates the ban, we will not say anything to
them, but we will severely punish the hotel owners," said the governor.
In Afghanistan, weddings are big business. In addition to paying the
girl's father a sum of money as a bride price, most Afghan grooms have to come
up with 5,000-10,000 US dollars for a series of parties, inviting hundreds of
friends and relatives to eat, dance, and celebrate the young couple's good
fortune. In a country where the average wage does not top 100 dollars per month,
the cost of getting married has kept many a young man single well into his 30s.
"I have an income of 200 afghani (about four dollars) a day," complained
Mohammad Latif, a bicycle repairman in Mazar-e-Sharif. Now 35 years old, he has
been engaged for six years, trying to save enough money for the necessary
celebrations. "How am I supposed to find 10,000 dollars for a party? The Ulema
did a good job. When I heard about it, I thought, 'Now I can finally bring my
wife home.’"
According to Mullah Mohammad Sadiq Sadiqatyar, pretentious
parties are against the Muslim religion. "Islam says that overspending is bad,"
he told IWPR. "If you want to get married, it is enough to have one engagement
party. Anything else is banned. These parties have caused disruption within the
society. We see many men who are wifeless, and many girls without husbands. This
is because a wedding party in a hotel will cost at least 5,000 dollars."
Weddings have become a competition, he added. People who cannot
afford the party have to borrow money, saddling themselves with debt they may be
paying off for decades. "It is our responsibility to make people aware
of Islamic rules," said Sadiqatyar. "It is also prohibited for male singers to
perform at women's parties. They should not be present to watch women dancing."
In Afghanistan, the sexes are strictly divided during wedding
celebrations. Men and women cannot dance together in public. This is good news
for the few female musicians in Balkh. "It is time to given women some
opportunities," said Arizo, a female guitarist. "If girls are allowed to sing at
women's parties, it will be a motivating factor for women's music. Many girls
may become musicians. But if men continue to dominate the music scene, there
will be little chance for us to do anything."
Male musicians and hotel
owners were uniformly glum about the fatwa. "We had to go to Pakistan during
Taleban times because music was banned," said the head of one male band, who did
not want to be named. "Now we might have to leave the country again. Since the
fatwa, no one invites us to their parties any more. And even if we do get some
work, they only pay us for the men's party, we cannot play for the women. I have
to make a living, for heaven's sake." Bismillah, the owner of one wedding hall,
was similarly upset. "This is our peak season," he complained. "Everyone wants
to get married before Ramazan. But since this fatwa our business is down by 50
per cent, and I think it will just get worse. What kind of country is this?"
According to Bismillah, the government should ignore the Ulema's
decision. "Otherwise the mullahs will just issue decisions on whatever they
want," he said. Lawyer and politician Kabir Ranjbar welcomed the fatwa, with
reservations. "From my perspective, this is a good decision, and it is for the
good of the people.
Unofortunately, it is illegal," he said The fatwa
violates Afghanistan's constitution, and disrupts the normal legislative
mechanism, he added. "When the government wants to make a law, it has to propose
it to the Wolesi Jirga (Lower House of Parliament)," he said. "Only after the
legislature has approved it can the government implement the law." The Ulema's
decision was arbitrary, he added, and did not correspond to Afghanistan's rule
of law.
"The constitution guarantees freedom to Afghanistan's citizens,"
he said. “No one has the right to deprive people of these freedoms." But the
Ulema is not overly concerned with the constitution. According to Sadiqatyar,
they are answering to a Higher Power. "The rules of God are above everything,"
he said. "We respect the law. But the fatwa we issued is according to the
dictates of God and the sayings of the Prophet. And this is higher than even the
constitution."
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