This is not fair!

Suicide bomber hits Kabul bus as attacks escalate

By Peter Graff and Sayed
Salahuddin, June 17 - A Taliban suicide bomber blew up a police bus in the
Afghan capital on Sunday killing around 35 people, police said, in apparently
the single deadliest bombing to hit Afghanistan since the Taliban were ousted in
2001. (Reuters)
The blast tore apart the bus, wrecked several other vehicles
and scattered body parts in the heart of the city.
"More than 35 are
killed," said Ali Shah Paktiawal, chief of the Kabul police's criminal branch.
"Police officers are among the dead." An Interior Ministry official could not
confirm the death toll, saying around 30 were dead or wounded.
The Interior
Ministry said five of the wounded were foreigners, including two Japanese, a
Korean and two Pakistanis. Earlier reports that foreigners had been killed
proved false.

Eighteen bodies, mostly police officers, and 10 wounded had been taken to
nearby Jamhuriat Hospital, a doctor there said.
There was chaos at the
hospital, where a crowd gathered to check if relatives and friends were among
the dead and injured.
Doctors set up a triage ward in the hospital's front
yard. The body of a police officer lay on the grass, shrouded in a sheet and
surrounded by blood-soaked garments. A male relative wailed into a mobile phone,
while friends tried to console him.
The bomb exploded during the morning
rush hour, at a time when buses are ferrying police officers to their beats.

The wreckage was smeared with blood and flesh. An hour after the blast investigators were still moving through the debris picking up human remains.
Police gave different death tolls, ranging from 21 to 35 dead with scores more wounded who were rushed to hospitals across the capital in wailing ambulances.

Two bombs in 2 Days in KABUL CITY

I’m in the office right now. To my left there are two of my colleagues going on with the formalities. I have my headphones on, listening to my music. Right now, Pussycat Dolls are playing (not my favourite, but it’s good enough).

DAMN… I heard another explosion just this very second! The windows shattered and it went BOOM.

Okay, it was Wolayat- some place really close to the office. And yes, I’m freaked out! I feel like an idiot because everyone else is so calm and I’m sitting here scared to death.

I called dad to see if he’s okay, he didn’t even hear the explosion.

This is the second one in 2 days in Kabul city! This is not right at all! And another one went off in Mazari Sharif yesterday.

Okay we just got a security report, this morning it was a bomb planted on a bus. So far five INNOCENT civilians have been seen carried away. It’s still way too early to know if they’re dead or injured.

<-- this is studying- Kabul style (on the floor)

Last nights entry:

I’m working on assignments and studying for exams. You would have no clue how I’m coping.n the corner leaning on suitcases, sitting on a bag of clothes and listening to the radio.

Ahesta beroo, maahe mann ahesta beroo.

To me, this song has always been a sad song. It’s the song to which an Afghan bride and groom makes their first entrance as a married couple during their wedding. no smiles. The bride and groom walk in. bride’s eyes are glued to the floor, walking like a zombie while her husband stares straight ahead at nothing in particular.

The song to which many helpless girls take dreaded steps into a horrific new life- forced marriages. I don’t understand the lyrics, but I find it upsetting.

Anyways, today another suicide blast took place. I was at the office (it was my day off, but I went to do some university research) when I got a security alert. I’ve been anticipating it. Four dead and four injured. The suicide bomber was aiming for the ISAF convoy but killed innocent people instead. ISAF immediately reacted, shooting and killing one. People have started demonstrating, and I’m freaked out that our offices may be targeted like last time- it was set on fire.

It’s just not fair at all for the Afghan people!

And I feel like a complete idiot, not being able to do anything except pick up after them once they lose their family members.

Not good enough!

My sister’s engagement party is coming up soon. I don’t know why, but I would rather spend the money on something more productive like helping the poor and needy. But it’s up to her. I just don’t like the idea of $20 000 weddings/engagement parties when there are people dying right next door.

Ironically, I get a lecture from my grandfather about excessive spending on clothes- something he called a waste!

Work is going well. I’ve taken a more serious approach, I don’t tolerate no rubbish from anyone. I don’t get along with most of the nationals so I just hang out with the internationals. They really look out for me, and I really appreciate it! They give me advise when I really need it and I know they won’t be taking advantage of me at all. Unfortunately, our locals aren’t like that. And I’m not willing to sacrifice anything.
With the locals and nationals- ITS PURE BUSINESS!

Anyways, I gotta head back to my assignment it’s nearly 10pm and I haven’t gotten anything done, I just hope the power doesn’t go off.

Ba omideh deedaar… khuda negahdaar

If I had a wish...

if i had a wish
that one wish would be
to bring you nothing but happiness
throughout eternity
if i had wings like an eagle
i'd fly high up in the air
to be above you at all times
and keep you from despair
if i could write a song
the lyrics would be of you
you wouldn’t hear no lies
but everything that is true
if i could go back in time
i'd go without looking back
to change what i did wrong
and set things on the right track
but baby, im only human
and the only thing i can really do
is take the love thats in my heart
and give it all to you... NK

I haven't been blogging for a while now, maybe it's because of work and since I've had no internet connection at home.

So why am i blogging now? Because i feel really down. I miss my friends and my home- Australia. I'm going through an identity crisis, i'm looking for myself but i can't seem to find me. I never knew i'd go through something like this. But believe it or not i don't feel like i belong here. the people are completely different.

i had a few international colleagues speak to me about office issues and the atmosphere. they were really nice about it, they explained the differences and how i should be or shouldn't be around people here. TRUST doesn't exist in this place! They told me i should go out with them. i wish i was allowed.

I've decided i'm not going to leave work for lunch because i've been warned that people will follow me.

I'm at work so i better log off...


ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar