My favourite building in Kabul. It looks really nice at night when the lights are on!
Last night:
Busy again, right now I’m at home working on this entry! My internet at home is disconnected and since work hours are really long, I reach home exhausted. At work, i usually don’t find the time!
My only motivation is my job, the work load increases but day by day I am liking it more. It’s not too bad! But I have come to realised one thing- I don’t blend with these people AT ALL! I am more alien in this place than I was in Australia. funnily enough, when I used to tell Australians I was born in Australia, they considered me as one of their own. Here, although they verbally consider me their own, their behaviour says otherwise. And I can’t blend in with these people. I hate referring to them as ‘these people’ but it’s actually the nationals. The nationals in my office are alright, they’re not bad- but we disagree in many areas. There’s perhaps only one which I get along with and that’s because they’ve spent time in Canada. I’m always singled out as being not ‘Afghan’ and since I started working here, I realised that I’m not as ‘afghan’ as I thought. I am as confused as ever. All I know is that I am a Muslim and I have every right to be one- no one can judge my faith but God.
The internationals (especially the Australians) are excellent. I get along with them as good as ever! XX came to the office today and offered me stickers, Australian flags and kangaroos. I also got the chance to ‘speak’ with an Afghan American whose returned to Afghanistan to work. I was able to relate better with them than the internationals- because we both felt exactly the same, neither of us got along with the nationals because of the huge gap. We both felt like never had a conversation as good as that in ages. Our head of security is really cool, he’s so nice to talk to! He really watches out for us.
As for the rest of the afghans, I hate to say this but if they hadn’t gotten any experience from the internationals, I doubt I would have been able to survive a day at work.
There was another suicide bomb on Jalalabad Road (one of the busiest and most dangerous roads in Kabul). Two police killed.
Kidnappings still the same, the fourteen year old son of a UNDP worker returned home. But the son of another UN employee has been kidnapped and was held ransom, they paid 1000USD on the spot to release him.
Mum asked me whether I found the work environment better in Australia or in Afghanistan. Dad thinks that there’s more respect here for women. But that’s just wrong! I have come to the conclusion that in the west if a woman wears hijab or dresses modestly (non-muslim women included), men don’t make remarks or disrespectful gestures. However, in Afghanistan a woman is disrespected, sworn at, guys make remarks/comments regardless of what the woman is wearing- even if it’s a head to toe covering burqa/ chadari. It’s disturbing! Not even the hijab is able to protect a woman here- even if the west is ‘evil’ and a non Islamic regime, at least a hijabi is respected and looked upto in society.
Malalai Joya has also been dismissed from parliament just a few days ago, she compared the parliament to a ‘stable’ and the parliamentarians to horses and donkeys. As much as I admire her courage and her dedication to help the poor, I think her lack of education is clearly evident in her speaking skills. She isn’t an eloquent speaker, and regardless of her ideas and supporting evidences, if one doesn’t have speaking skills then it’s very likely for them to be shunned.
Another MP I admire is Bashardost. He lives for the poor! His wages is 40000 Afs a month (which has the value of $4000 in Australia). he lives in a small house, drives an old volvo (not a $40 000 4WD like other MPs). He gives the rest to the poor! He doesn’t want to get married because of afghans pathetic culture of $20 000 weddings when there are thousands of people starving for food outside the wedding hall.
The boys in the office played a cruel joke on me this morning! I call them boys because they’re really young, but they’re all married or engaged! So young! I got to the office on time, there was only Ws in the office. Soon enough Bsr came arrived, it started off with me asking Bsr of his wedding date- he told me it’s his second wedding. i was about to start lecturing him on the implications of having more than one wife when Ws added that Bsr’s first wife helped in the search for Bsr’s second wife. That’s when I took a stance and started saying it’s immoral and unfair! Nsr took my side (he’s from Hrt so he’s pretty moderate and smart). Nsr said that islam only allows for more than wife, only and only if equality is possible. He stressed on the point that apart from the prophet, no one is able to equalise. Ws continued saying that he can never marry one wife, he’s going to marry seven because he doesn’t believe he can commit to one woman for the rest of his life. I was completely stunned! I couldn’t believe that these ‘modern’ guys could say something like this. I kept saying it’s not fair for the woman. Ws said that it’s because women in Afghanistan have a big heart and the western women are jealous and they don’t want to share their man. I was so angry! I told them that it’s not jealousy- it’s commitment, faithfulness and loyalty.
Anyways, this continued for half an hour longer until Sdq walked in and said the truth- it’s Bsr’s first wedding. I got Ws to admit whether he meant what he said or not. Thankfully, he said no! I was relieved, for the very reason that if these guys represented Afghanistan’s ‘modern’ boys, then I wonder what the other boys would be like.
The entire purpose of their joke was for them to see how I would react, as a woman. But they played their roles pretty good!
My only motivation is my job, the work load increases but day by day I am liking it more. It’s not too bad! But I have come to realised one thing- I don’t blend with these people AT ALL! I am more alien in this place than I was in Australia. funnily enough, when I used to tell Australians I was born in Australia, they considered me as one of their own. Here, although they verbally consider me their own, their behaviour says otherwise. And I can’t blend in with these people. I hate referring to them as ‘these people’ but it’s actually the nationals. The nationals in my office are alright, they’re not bad- but we disagree in many areas. There’s perhaps only one which I get along with and that’s because they’ve spent time in Canada. I’m always singled out as being not ‘Afghan’ and since I started working here, I realised that I’m not as ‘afghan’ as I thought. I am as confused as ever. All I know is that I am a Muslim and I have every right to be one- no one can judge my faith but God.
The internationals (especially the Australians) are excellent. I get along with them as good as ever! XX came to the office today and offered me stickers, Australian flags and kangaroos. I also got the chance to ‘speak’ with an Afghan American whose returned to Afghanistan to work. I was able to relate better with them than the internationals- because we both felt exactly the same, neither of us got along with the nationals because of the huge gap. We both felt like never had a conversation as good as that in ages. Our head of security is really cool, he’s so nice to talk to! He really watches out for us.
As for the rest of the afghans, I hate to say this but if they hadn’t gotten any experience from the internationals, I doubt I would have been able to survive a day at work.
There was another suicide bomb on Jalalabad Road (one of the busiest and most dangerous roads in Kabul). Two police killed.
Kidnappings still the same, the fourteen year old son of a UNDP worker returned home. But the son of another UN employee has been kidnapped and was held ransom, they paid 1000USD on the spot to release him.
Mum asked me whether I found the work environment better in Australia or in Afghanistan. Dad thinks that there’s more respect here for women. But that’s just wrong! I have come to the conclusion that in the west if a woman wears hijab or dresses modestly (non-muslim women included), men don’t make remarks or disrespectful gestures. However, in Afghanistan a woman is disrespected, sworn at, guys make remarks/comments regardless of what the woman is wearing- even if it’s a head to toe covering burqa/ chadari. It’s disturbing! Not even the hijab is able to protect a woman here- even if the west is ‘evil’ and a non Islamic regime, at least a hijabi is respected and looked upto in society.
Malalai Joya has also been dismissed from parliament just a few days ago, she compared the parliament to a ‘stable’ and the parliamentarians to horses and donkeys. As much as I admire her courage and her dedication to help the poor, I think her lack of education is clearly evident in her speaking skills. She isn’t an eloquent speaker, and regardless of her ideas and supporting evidences, if one doesn’t have speaking skills then it’s very likely for them to be shunned.
Another MP I admire is Bashardost. He lives for the poor! His wages is 40000 Afs a month (which has the value of $4000 in Australia). he lives in a small house, drives an old volvo (not a $40 000 4WD like other MPs). He gives the rest to the poor! He doesn’t want to get married because of afghans pathetic culture of $20 000 weddings when there are thousands of people starving for food outside the wedding hall.
The boys in the office played a cruel joke on me this morning! I call them boys because they’re really young, but they’re all married or engaged! So young! I got to the office on time, there was only Ws in the office. Soon enough Bsr came arrived, it started off with me asking Bsr of his wedding date- he told me it’s his second wedding. i was about to start lecturing him on the implications of having more than one wife when Ws added that Bsr’s first wife helped in the search for Bsr’s second wife. That’s when I took a stance and started saying it’s immoral and unfair! Nsr took my side (he’s from Hrt so he’s pretty moderate and smart). Nsr said that islam only allows for more than wife, only and only if equality is possible. He stressed on the point that apart from the prophet, no one is able to equalise. Ws continued saying that he can never marry one wife, he’s going to marry seven because he doesn’t believe he can commit to one woman for the rest of his life. I was completely stunned! I couldn’t believe that these ‘modern’ guys could say something like this. I kept saying it’s not fair for the woman. Ws said that it’s because women in Afghanistan have a big heart and the western women are jealous and they don’t want to share their man. I was so angry! I told them that it’s not jealousy- it’s commitment, faithfulness and loyalty.
Anyways, this continued for half an hour longer until Sdq walked in and said the truth- it’s Bsr’s first wedding. I got Ws to admit whether he meant what he said or not. Thankfully, he said no! I was relieved, for the very reason that if these guys represented Afghanistan’s ‘modern’ boys, then I wonder what the other boys would be like.
The entire purpose of their joke was for them to see how I would react, as a woman. But they played their roles pretty good!
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar
PS I have an assignment that was due on Monday and another one that's due this Monday!
God help me!
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