Rejuvenation of an Afghan Soul

Moved

2007-12-26T09:58:00.000+04:30

I have moved to a new site, i have transferred all previous posts there as well. U'll like it better there :D

http://kabulaus.wordpress.com/

See you there ;)

Hamaam- Public Bathrooms

2007-12-26T08:11:00.000+04:30

Merry Xmas everyone!

Wanna know how i celebrated mine? two words- Stuffy and heated.

Yesterday, i made the ultimate grave mistake of going to the 'hamaam'. Forgetting the one time it struck me ill, i decided to go again with mum and my little sisters.

Basically, it's a big tiled bathroom with benches along the walls, two huge taps- one cold water, the other hot water. You enter, there are women collecting an entry fee of 20 Afs (~50c AU). To your left, there's a passage where a lady sits and watches over your clothes and items as you go in to bathe (nope, no key-lockers).

I entered the actual bathroom, stuffy and sometimes crowded. A gush of humid air hit my face as i tried making my way through the naked women who were fiercely scrubbing themselves. Some were modest, wearing an underwear *sarcasm*. Most were perfomring the ultimate hamaam ritual of keesa . Using a rough loofa, they scrub til the dead skin cells are rolled off and gone. An extreme form of exfoliation.

Basically, Kabul is very dusty. In order to maintain hygiene, you MUST go to the hamaam and do the whole keesa thing otherwise, you'd be walking around looking like you just cleaned a chimney- Oliver Twist!

I would agree that it does cleanse but on that note, it also leaves you with unpleasant rashes if your not used to it. So be gentle the first time!

We spent over 2 hours in there, i felt like i still wasn't clean as the place wasn't hygienic and so gave up and took another shower when returning home.

Upon returning home, everyone had things to do and so left the house. it was my two little sisters and the maid. Lunch time arrived. I offered my sisters by ordering AFC (equivalent to KFC). Eventually, we agreed to go and buy junk food, then go to Cedars (a Lebanese/ Italian restaurant). Boy, were they happy!

And so we did, my lovely fiance- H joined us at Cedars, but as he already had lunch, he joined us for coffee. We chatted for a little while before leaving for Shar e Naw where he bought a cake and some pastries (afg tradition for fiance's to bring their fiancee's sweets or fresh/ dried fruits when visiting her).

This morning on my way to work, Kabul weather was surprisingly clear! The mountains made a sharp contrast against the sky, other days it would blend in the smog and the clouds. Too bad my camera charger has been stolen, i wasn't able to photograph it.

Further, tomorrow night mum is cooking Kala Palaw (sheeps head cooked in rice) and i can't believe H likes that.

The thought of it makes me feel sick.

Two things i'm presently contemplating;

1- Where to go early March for a holiday. Europe is too cold, Turkey/ Greece is also too cold, The States is also freezing. Australia has excellent weather at that time. We have to book tickets soon.

2- Moving my blog to wordpress. why? because it has better features!

It's cold, my hands are freezing. Must do some work!

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

My Shirnee Dadan particulars...

2007-12-23T14:12:00.000+04:30

On Our Engagement

What does it mean to be engaged
To one you love so much?
It’s open arms and gentle words --
A reassuring touch.

It’s knowing that you have someone
Who never turns away,
Who laughs with you and dries your tears,
Your partner night and day.

It’s opening your very soul
Where all you faults are bared.
It’s joining of two loving hearts,
Commitment made and shared.

It’s hope for all your days to come
And vows to keep for life.
Engagement means you soon will be
A husband and a wife.

~~~

Event: Shirnee dadan (Pre Engagement Ceremony)
Venue: Shaam-e-Paris, Kabul, Afghanistan.
Date: 13th December 2007, 5.00pm
Hair and Make up: Hers- Shugofaan ; His- Skin Deep, Ehab (from Dubai).

~~~

The interim engagement ring, until we fly to Dubai for my diamond ring! Bracelet- a gift from my mother in law. She knows my taste exactly as is :)

Saying farewell to our guests.

Cutting the cake with the grand sword! Our cake was the Eiffel tower... oh so grand!

Yep, she's engaged!

Can you believe it? I wore Indian initially before i changed into my dress. Still looked good!

Eid Mubarak

2007-12-23T14:03:00.000+04:30

Eideh gozashteh hamayetan mubarak baad!
A very happy belated eid to everyone!

Oh yes, very late!! Being a fiance is a tough task to fulfill, but i'm doing well. Eid was great, H-jan bought me lots of presents (including a SHEEP) and we spent lots of quality time together. Such a sweetheart! He also wrote me a real sweet message in the card, i shall upload it next time. He took me out for dinner to Serena (5 Star hotel). It was really romantic, just looking out the window watching the snowflakes fall and just enjoying each others company. *sigh*

Watched the previews for 'The Kite Runner'- EXCELLENT, can't wait to watch it.

We just recieved a serious warning that we are targets for kidnappings. To be honest, this is the first time i've been scared since our stay in Kabul. Not scared of being kidnapped, but for anyone in my family getting hurt.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

I’m engaged!

2007-12-16T15:28:00.000+04:30

Yep, you heard right! I am engaged…

To all of those wondering, he’s an Afghan-American from Washington DC (yep, that’s where all the smart ppl are at! Haha jks)

Have emailed pics. Enjoy!

Snow culture in Afg

2007-12-11T15:03:00.000+04:30

Barf Mebarad Ba Farmani Khuda
Barf naw az ma, barfee az shuma!

I got the above email from a colleague and i replied back saying 'what does this mean?' He came to my office and explained the whole thing! Basically, what happens is that one the first day of snow, one person congratulates another on the arrival of snow. When this happens, they recite the above verse, following this; the congratulator has to invite the person who has recited the verse for dinner or lunch.

I know, confusing! I had to get my colleague to explain it to me twice.

Anyways, IT SNOWED TODAY! I saw the snow flakes!!

Barrf tabreek*

2007-12-10T13:30:00.000+04:30

* Congratulating everyone on snow's arrival. *grunt*
The snows are here! Kabuls mountains are decorated in white snow, i really can't help but draft a similarity between a horrid ghost and the white kabul mountains drawing over us.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Success and laughter! Happiness in the family home = happiness over all.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Good byes and losing a loved one.

3. Which living person do you most admire?
Does it have to be just one? I'd say Khalid Hosseini and Afghan village women! Yep, i admire their strength.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Being too nice, impatient.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Bluffers/liars, lacking emotional security, hypocrisy.

6. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Practising 'good' muslims who overtly practise 'loudly'. You'd think there are so many- everyone claiming to be one!

7. On what occasion do you lie?
I suck at that! My face gives it away. Generally, i don't lie. but if i really have to, it would be to save someones face.

8. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Nothing really. I'm satisfied with the way i look.

9. What is your greatest regret?
No regrets in life, everything is a learning experience! If you regret certain things, chances are you will gain a guilty conscience and god help you with that!

10. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Afghanistan and knowledge.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?
Being able to master Dari/ Persian poetry and literature. It's such a profound and expressive language, perhaps broader than English.

12. What is your current state of mind?
Anticipation and excitement.

13. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
More patience. Does anyone have any to spare?

14. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being in Afghanistan!!! At the moment aiming to recieve international mental therapy assistance for the Afghans. It's tough but most rewarding.

15. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Lion or tiger. lol

16. What is your most treasured possession?
My intellect and potential. Tangible items: photo album, itty bitty pieces which trigger great memories.

17. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
I don't let anyone put me down, so i wouldn't know! :)

18. Where would you like to live?
in Kabul but with annual holidays to rejuvenate!

19. What is your most marked characteristic?
being too straightforward and strong personality.

20. Who are your favorite writers?
Due to my obsession with Afghanistan- Khalid Hosseini, there are so many more.

21. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Dana Evans.

22. Who are your heroes in real life?
Mum, dad and expatraite community in Afg,

23. What is it that you most dislike?
Poverty! i HATE it!

24. What is your motto?
What goes around, comes around.
Zindagee do rooz hast.
Dunya wafaa nadareh, ageh ashkaat bebareh, tanha memooni. Vali ageh bekhandi, dunya ba rooyet mekhandeh.

25. Favorite Journey?
Returning to Kabul from Panjshir- singing and clapping to Afghan songs.
Islamabad- Peshawar- it was even better!

26. What do you value most in your friends?
Loyalty

27. Which words or phrases do you must overuse?
Are you serious?
Mebakhsheen (i apologise automatically for any thing- even if it's the other persons fault! E.g bumping into a person at the shops. I guess it's an aussie thing)

28. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Malalay, she has a strong personality just like me.

29. What is your greatest extravagance?
Clothes, perfumes and phone cards.

30. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Nothing, I love them the way they are!

31. What is your favorite occupation?
Interior architect, lawyer, wedding planner!

32. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Elegance and pride.

33. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Masculinity, security, strength, gentleman, decent, good heart, faithful, not pook…would you like me to continue?

34. How would you like to die?
What a pleasant question! But I want to die a martyr.

35. If you could chose what to come back as, what would it be?
Myself.

Trial by media??

2007-12-09T13:20:00.000+04:30

It's sickening. Whatever happened with 'innocent until proven guilty'?
You may have all read about it in the news and saw the images flashing on TV. We're going through a tough period of time- Dad's cool, he's going to fight back with a press statement via his lawyer.

I won't be saying anymore, lawyers have advised not to comment as it will be detrimental to the case. So, quiet i shall remain!

i would have posted the media articles here, but it would reveal my identity as the names are printed. Those who know me, will know what i'm referring to.

Sorry, but that's all i can reveal at the moment.

Keeping strong.

Ya Allah, khayr.

2007-12-05T10:34:00.000+04:30

The third suicide attack in eight days. I wrote the following (not sure what you can call it). It’s not a poem, although sounds like it.

It's 7am. In most households, alarm clocks haven't sounded yet.

BOOM! Alarm?

No, look out the window, exhaling short fast breaths, the glass window fogging.

A man sits disorientated, dazed. Painted in blood.

His blood? Or is it the person seated alongside him on the bus?

Six courageous soldiers dressed in uniform… no longer
Only guts and flesh remnants.

Death arrived hastily.

Frustration, anger, pain. Tears run down lost faces.

The sound of death, can you hear it? Sounds distant doesn’t it?

Wailing ambulance.
Ear pitching howls of men.
Women screaming in agony.

Its just outside your window. Look to your left…

Men carrying four little lifeless bodies.
Carefree children… no longer

Thirteen wounded. Lost and confused.

Look closer, can you see their frightened faces or is it covered in blood and tears?

A helpless crowd collecting what’s left of a once happy child.

Why are you breathing so hard? Your crying, shocked aren’t you?

Close your eyes as the burning tears scald your face.

Tragic, isn’t it? And you’re a witness.

I am your conscience and have been imprisoned by this calamity. Unshackle me…

Explosion # ?

2007-12-04T15:30:00.000+04:30

Another suicide explosion. 6 victims. Pray for the families.

I feel so down.

Perhaps as bad as Kevin Carter did when he photographed a starved African child being preyed by a vulture in 1994.

"Far more civilians have been killed by the US military in Afghanistan than were killed in the US in the tragedy of September 11. More Afghan civilians have been killed by the US than were ever killed by the Taliban.....The US should withdrawal as soon as possible. We need liberation not occupation." ("The War on Terror is a Mockery", Elsa Rassbach, Z Magazine Nov 2007)

A number of independent journalists confirm that the Taliban has garnered substantial support in the South from disenchanted Afghans who're tired of the broken promises, the lack of employment and reconstruction, and the random bombing of innocent civilians.

Mud houses in Kandahar?

2007-11-29T15:37:00.000+04:30

Hamma karaat doroughaki, boro baba shinakhtamet... khub medoonam! -Valy

Love that song!

Anyways, had a conversation with my buddy from our Kandahar office. He's from the States and a great guy. He told me about his sons party:

N: its all good over here, getting prepared for the party tomorrow night
i think we gonna have like 20 females along with their 300 kids in our tiny house
Me: ahahahha is this party for ur son?
N: yeah, its for that lil fool.he is doing better now, started walking around the day before yesterday
Me: hahaha
N: pops gave me 700$ to cover some of the costs. isnt he great?
Me: i cant help but ask this, do they have concrete houses in kandahar or are they all mud houses?
N: you know what, im gonna have to bring you down here someday
Me:ahahahah sorry, but i'm just curious!!!
Nasim: kandahar use to be the capital of afghanistan back in the days
Me: yeah but still... even kabul has mud houses
N: and today, its the 3rd largest city in afghanistan, and growing daily
well kandahar has mud houses, but it also has lots and lots of concrete buildings and houses
Me:: thank u. u sound like a news reporter!!!so is ur house mud or concrete?
N: oh be quiet
Me: well?
N: its concrete

Introducing- Shrinks and Afg Juvies

2007-11-28T13:54:00.000+04:30

GOOD NEWS!! I'm a keen supporter of specialised treatment in juvenile offending. Having experience in that field, i have seen it's impact on juveniles. The first rehabilitation centre for juvenile offenders (aged 12-18) has been launched in Kabul. Compliments to Italy who funded $490 000US for its construction. I remember seeing a deserted rehabilitation centre in Kabul and wished for its refurbishment.

Further, I'm currently in the process of trying to obtain international assistance in mental health issues for Afghans who have been traumatised psychologically as a result of NATO assistance in Afghanistan. Children need extra special help in this regard as they are Afgs future. So far, i'm doing well. i have been told by European groups that they will dispatch a group of psychologists immediately into the country. if this works- i will feel so proud! Afghans really need this.

Yesterdays bombing: Hekmatyar has claimed responsibility!

Will type more later, i feel sick because i ate roadside chips again!

Figuring Afghanistan- an obscurity!

2007-11-27T10:57:00.000+04:30

A suicide bomb went off exactly 22 minutes ago in Wazir Akbar Khan, Street 14. I’m okay, shukor so is family. Breaking news: At least 2 civilians dead and counting.

Ya Allah, khayr! I’m waiting for information to flood the office.

Afghanistan- an obscure arithmetical equation.

Labor winning the elections in Australia + Republicans aren’t glamorous enough to win the 2008 US elections = Withdrawal of troops from Iraq (an indication of increase in militant insurgency).

Pakistans deteriorating situation due to an obsessed, overly panicked President who’s doing whatever it takes to remain president- but is being faced with a Bhutto-Sharif opposition.

UN reports signify an increased opium trade in Afghanistan; further, anti-government elements have contaminated 54 per cent of Afghanistan who will be present in the long run. It has been anticipated that Kabul will be managed by AGES by mid-2008. NATO has been urged to double it’s troops. No no no the US troops need to disperse into the remote areas where the anti government elements are regrouping, not in the towns as they are currently positioned.

This leaves Afghanistan standing on a bar of soap, will easily slip!

Security chief just declared an unconfirmed explosion in Karte Naw. All movement within Kabul has been restricted, so that means i'm locked down in my office. Joy!

Sympathies and condolences

2007-11-26T08:45:00.000+04:30

My cousins’ cousins mum passed away in New York. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon. My heart goes out to their family, especially to Rafi. I sent him a lousy but hearty email offering him my condolences. He’s like a little brother to me (even though he’s older than I).

Good memories while we were in Islamabad, his putt-putty car. I walked into a cd store, all I saw were a bunch of guys STARING, I gave them a dirty look and turned the other way to select cds. Rafi came and said ‘salaam’. He asked why I gave him a dirty look; I laughed and told him I didn’t see him (even though he was standing right in front of me).

I pray to God to grant u strength and patience to carry on during this time of grief. If there’s anything I can do, or if you feel like confiding in anyone… I’m here for u. Take care of yourself and be strong.

An Afghan Wedding

2007-11-26T08:03:00.000+04:30

Had lunch with M yesterday, good fun! We had a laugh session about Afghans here and abroad and at the same time we agreed that if we hear any international say it, we'd verbally bash 'em. We're afghans, it's okay for us.

A week or so ago, i went to a wedding. I cant be bothered regurgitating the events so i've 'stolen' this passage from Mina's blog (thanks, hun!) Needless to say, what she experienced, i did too!

Basically it was very close to weddings I saw in North America – a band, a sitting area for the bride and groom (he hangs out with the ladies), a dance floor, and lots of food. There were however, a few differences. First was how bright the women’s dresses were - orange, bright green, etc. In most Afghan weddings I’ve been to in Canada, there are only 2 or 3 ladies who make this fashion choice. Here it was the majority. Another thing about the outfits was that they changed them about 3 to 4 times. This was of course only the closely related family; but even included the baby and children. I was in the same outfit the whole night (I always chose Indian outfits because they are as comfortable as pajamas and well accepted by Afghans. Who wants to pull on their strap all night?) . Anyway, this meant that you could spot me at anytime. The family members however, looked different every 15 minutes, so when I was looking for people I knew to say bye; I couldn’t find them because they were wearing new outfits.

The next thing that I just loved – was how the food was delivered. There were plates of every kind of food set on your table, underneath which was a plastic table cloth. The food was very tasty and even fruits and desserts were on the table. When it came time to clean up – I started to hear what sounded like an earthquake. No, it wasn’t a rocket. It was the sound of the waiters RUNNING away from the tables with their trays. They pick up the plastic, which is now holding all of the plates, platters, glasses, etc and pile them on to one tray. Then they hold that tray up with one hand, and run so they don’t drop it. It’s something that was very hard to capture in a picture, but I tried.

Speaking of home, i made a mental list. I've become an insomniac since learning about my trip back home. Spending the whole night awake thinking about what presents to get and for whom. Who to visit, what to do. I know my first visit will be to Maccaz (McDonalds) and if any of my relatives wish to invite me, they can bring home take-away... fish and chips or Maccaz or Pizza. NO AFGHAN FOOD, PLEASE. K.A can make a note of this. ahaha.

SM, ur a darl for wanting to have a night and kicking ur poor man out of the house so we have an all-girls night. love ya!

I'm at work, my tummy hurts. I really need to go back to australia and get a thorough medical examination, i probably have a zillion cancers in my body that i don't know about. hahahaha.

Anyways, back to work...

A distorted Paghman picturesque

2007-11-25T08:53:00.000+04:30

Rushed into work. Bumped into our Aussie security dude before anyone else. We, of course discussed the election results. Before even checking my hotmail inbox (which is my number one daily priority), I logged onto MSN and spoke to W about- THE ELECTIONS! I’m stunned at Labors win! I’ve always liked Kevin Rudd, even as shadow minister. He’s an excellent speaker. Always has sharp comebacks! But history has proven, Labor and economics aren’t a good match. Immigration policy wise- it’s good for all the FOBs waiting to gain entry into Austaralya!

As for weekend highlights.

I was in the kitchen about to start cooking when my phone rang, it was a relative, S calling. I answered with a smile, ‘hey S, whats up?’
‘Guess what?’ was all I heard from the other end in her out of breathe voice. I asked if she was okay and why she’s so huffed. ‘I heard a bomb go off and then fire shots, the whole house shook and windows shattered.’ She was in complete shock. Her husband left the house, he thought they had targeted his uncle again who is the Chief security officer for Paghman. She hung up and told me she’ll call me later on with the news. I told her not to worry and that the scary part is DURING the explosion, the aftermath (although tragic) won’t do further physical damage. I assured her everything will be alright.

I hung up and lifelessly carried myself into the lounge room, positioned myself on the floor, next to the couch. I sat in solitary silence and stared into nothingness out the window. Kids gathered there, I thought to myself, how can they be so cruel? Why? Why?

These words came to my head as I grieved silently in tears.

Plastic sandals in a heap. Were they discarded in a hurry, as the frightened feet ran away? Or were the sandals blown off, right after the children?

Dust and screaming in the tree-lined streets? Grown men hitting themselves in frustration, crying for their children?

Our children murdered. Again and again.

This morning on my way to work, I had the following conversation:

Driver: Do you remember when we once went to Paghman and stopped on the way to buy apples?
Me: Yes
Driver: He too was killed.

I shook my head! An apple seller on the side of the road, earning barely enough to support his household. Why? Why? Why the injust disposition on our nation?
6 people killed, mostly children. My heart goes out to the families. May God give them the strength and patience to carry on.

Also went to a takhjamee in the village. Very interesting observation. Forgive me if I don’t sound too descriptive but I’m still saddened by the Paghman attacks. We were supposed to visit grandads grave and then go for a picnic. So I pulled on a pair of jeans, a sweater and my runners.

On the way, our driver insisted we join him and his family at the ‘takhjamee’. My god, I was in jeans and they want us to go to a village takhjamee? Girls who wear pants are considered to be wearing men’s attire. Oh well, my parents agreed and so I didn’t defy.

We entered the mud house to be greeted by a swarm of women. Oh no, I thought, I hate the kissing formality ESPECIALLY when you have no idea who they are. So I just took a deep breath and braced myself. I had my baby sister in my arms, hoping that would create a barrier so they don’t bother kissing me.

But. I was wrong!

I smiled and winced as each woman grabbed me (either by my shoulder or the back of my head) pulled me to her and kissed my cheeks five times alternating between left and right. I’ll dodge the next one, I thought.

But. I was wrong!

Kiss left cheek, kiss right cheek, kiss left cheek, right again, then finally left again. Yay, I’m free, only to be faced by another.

*sigh* yet, I still love our culture and our people.

The entire ‘takhjamee’ process was the norm apart from the dressed up women who looked like the white chicks from the movie ‘White Chicks’. They wore brightly coloured dresses with glittery sequins. White tombaans peeked from under their dresses.

Their hair. Oh boy did I like this part. It was permed- noodle perms! They had a whole heap of curled fringe on their forehead and long poodle looking curls dangling from next to their temples all the way to their shoulders. It reminded me of my sheepskin Qaraqol coat.

My MSN convo with W (don't ask why i put these, i guess it's for my own reference).

Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
salaam
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
how are u?
W Says:
Good
W says:
w/s
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
fill me in on the aussie elections
W says:
hah
W says:
John Howard lost
W says:
even his own seat i believe
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i heard that bit, even the dodgy afg news said that, tell me REAL news.
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
damnnn.. by how much did labour win?
W says:
i think they may have a majority of 24 seats
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
that's good
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i'm happy but australias economy is going down with Labour
W says:
yeah i believe that too
W says:
but apparently he is an ecconomic conservative so i guess we will just have to wait and see
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i hope so! personally, i like kevin rudd! even when he was shadow minister, hes an excellent speaker
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i'm reading the news right now.. COSTELLO ISN'T GOING TO BE LIBERAL LEADER????? Damn!
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
whose taking his place then? come onnnnnnnn, u slowy! i'm in afg and i have more Aussie elections news than you
W says:
who said he isnt?
W says:
obviously the caucas has to elect him
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i'm READING THE NEWS!! something you should know!
W says:
i think its just a formality
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
noooo i'm talking about the liberals... why would the caucus elect a liberal leader?
W says:
shalgham jan.... the liberal caucus
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
there is no liberal caucus... only labour is called caucus. go back to school!
W says:
kee mega
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
but it's good now, states are all labour and so is federal!
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
go and google it! u'll find for urself!
W says:
no really,... increased chance of corruption i believe
W says:
not really
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
The Federal Parliamentary Australian Labor Party, commonly known as The Caucus
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i googled it for you!!!
W says:
yeah
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
whats happening with our aussie troops? is Rudd going to bring em home
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
ufffffffff maam keera porsaan mekonom, kadoo! lol
W says:
Rudd ba ma zang zad emroz
W says:
and he said ... Wjan when do u want me to pull out the troops from Iraq
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
ahahahhahahhaha
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
qawarah!
W says:
i dont think he will be withdrawing any time soon
W says:
i think his position is that he will withdraw troops responsibly
Me My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
i reckon it was all done for show! he's not going to get the troops out, coz if he does then he won't have US backing. as much as labour SAYS they don't care about Bushy. They DO!
W says:
did u even vote ?
Me- My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
lol no
W says:
churra eqadar gaap khay mezani
W says:
chup
Me- My god, Ruddy boy won! says:
ahahhahahaha

I'm coming home!

2007-11-22T16:57:00.000+04:30

I wanted to surprise you all, but i just cant- so i'll have to tell you.

I'm coming home end of the year, maybe earlier!

I'll be going to Sydney as well and Melbourne bakhayr to visit family- and of course, good old Perth.

Locals

2007-11-22T16:52:00.000+04:30

Take this as a form of advice!

Advice #1 – don’t befriend locals. It is their pride and joy to become obsessed with you and everything you do so they have something to talk about. They’re like the fob afghans in north America but obviously worse. Anyway, obviously you get it already . Lol

Soooooooooooooo true!

Breaking barriers and making friends

2007-11-22T16:15:00.000+04:30

Before i begin to say anything, i just want to thank you's all for listening to me pour my heart out over the past few days- phone calls, emails and SMS. For making me realise my worth and most importantly your advice. For opening my eyes and making me see reality.

I know, i know i'm supposed to be issuing the Panjshir chronicle and at the same time my sisters birthday parties, D's and T's.

Buttttt... the most unusual and unexpecting event took place. See, i was in australia keeping to date with current events in Afghanistan when a friend showed me a blog of an Afg-Canadian girl who moved to Kabul to work, Mina. It was a long while ago, i remember seeing her photoes and reading her blog. She was an insipiration!

We met!

Wanna know how? Well, a girl i know S.? was due to arrive to Kabul from the States for work a few weeks ago. She declined the offer and so she remained in the States. How did i meet the girl? well her father works here, runs some business. He was working on his laptop in a cafe when he saw me. He asked questions and explained to me that his daughter is coming down for work and he'd like us to maintain contact. i gladly exchanged email addresses with him. Soon enough, i heard from her but was disappointed that she's no longer coming. i was looking forward to making a new friend.

And so we spoke and got to know each other better and grew closer.

A while later, her brother arrived in Afghanistan for business with his wife. S.? gave me her sis in laws number and told me that she'll hook me up with a few decent girls in Kabul.

She called me first, it was great being able to talk to someone who i could relate to. She gave me Mina's number. At this stage, i had no idea who Mina was but when i spoke to S.?, she told me Mina was from Canada. Yeah, it was the blogger Mina.

So, she and I exchanged emails and got along pretty well. We discussed fashion in Kabul, the FOB guys at work and Salons. Just shallow girly stuff! Of course, i have my friends. But being with someone in Kabul who knows what it's like and we can laugh together about stuff. This is just the beginning i guess, the best is yet to come... bakhayr.

Everything is going well for me in Kabul, Shukor. I've always believed 'when God closes a door, he opens a window.' I have a good job, a challenging experience, meeting new and different people- all this in Afghanistan!

Shukor!

Utterly disgusted

2007-11-20T08:40:00.000+04:30

i have posted the complete article previously, but came across it today as i was reading the news. A disgrace to Afghan people! Appalling!

The practice, called "bacha bazi" -- literally "boy play" -- has a long history in northern Afghanistan, but sometimes it does not stop with just dancing.

"I very much enjoy hugging a boy. His smell and fragrance kills me," said Yawar.

The 38-year-old businessman said he recruited a 15-year-old boy three years ago to help him with his work.

"I have had him for at least three years, since he was only 15. He was looking for a job and I gave him somewhere to stay," said Yawar, showing the boy's picture.

"I don't have a wife. He is like my wife. I dress him in women's clothes and have him sleep beside me. I enjoy him and he is my everything," he said, kissing the photograph.

"Everyone tries to have the best, most handsome and good-looking boy," said a former mujahideen commander, who declined to be named.

Former mujahideen commanders hold such parties in and around Pul-e Khumri about once a week.

"I was married to a woman 20 years ago, she left me because of my boy," he said. "I was playing with my boy every night and was away from home, eventually my wife decided to leave me. I am happy with my decision, because I am used to sleeping and entertaining with my young boy."

"I was only 14-years-old when a former Uzbek commander forced me to have sex with him," said Shir Mohammad in Sar-e Pol province. "Later, I quit my family and became his secretary. I have been with him for 10 years, I am now grown up, but he still loves me and I sleep with him."

Asked what he would do when he got older, he said: "Once I grow up, I will be an owner and I will have my own boys."

So, what are the tackling measures positioned?

Islamic scholars recommended harsher punishment.

"Those who do this are the devil," said Mawlawi Mohammad Sadiq Sadiqyar, a scholar and prayer leader in the main northern city of Mazar-i-Sharif. "Under Islamic law, those who practice this should be stoned to death."

But some of the men say they are not interested in women.

"We know it is immoral and unIslamic, but how can we quit? We do not like women, we just want boys," said Chaman Gul, aged 35 of Takhar province.

(Source: UNAMA Report, 19 November 2007)

Wallah, this is haraam! How can they claim to be Mujahideen? According to my extensive knowledge about jihad, fighting with guns is the final form of jihad. Jihad An-nafs is the most primary yet important option of Jihad- Fighting desires, being in control of one self.

A disgrace! A disgrace to Islam, a disgrace to Afghan culture and a humiliation to Afghan people. Most importantly, a disgrace to Mujahids who really fought with their intention purely for the cause of Islam and their country but are having their name washed in degradation. How can they call themselves mujahideen?????

But.

Don't believe everything you read. Media propaganda and exaggeration. Blowing issues out of porportion.

Evidence

2007-11-20T08:05:00.000+04:30

A.A, Here's proof that i HAVE taken notes.

Apologies and my pride!

2007-11-19T15:36:00.000+04:30

I know i'm late with my Panjsher entry. I have written notes but too lazy to type it up. i think i'll just scan it and post it then u guys can decipher what it says.

No, i'll be nice and type it. just give me time... (as if i haven't asked for enough already).

The temperature has dropped, the water puddles are all frozen in the morning.

Not feeling well today, throat feels funny.

Actually, i'm going to talk about something which just popped into my head. My pride! i know everyone is probably thinking 'oh god, she has too much of it'. i remember my friends telling me exasparatingly, most mistaking me as being a snob or damaqee. I've always held my head high, I have my reasons and i believe in its validity. People (who were very close to me) have tried breaking me... and they did! for a while i'd be upset, but it wasn't too long before i'd rise again stronger than before.

Most think i'm maghroor and i just smile. Yes, i'm maghroor.. only when it comes to guys (i won't delve into that subject). but once i let someone in, they see a sweet side. i know what people are thinking (oh my god, she has a sweet side???) i doooooooo... but it's hidden!

W says:
way tooo much pride
Me says:
i know, i'm just too good aren't i?
W says:
lol
W says:
i walk with elegance, win hearts with my decency etc etc
Me says:
aleh ba tu chi?zooret meta coz u can't walk with elegance? or ur not decent enough! lol.. that was ouch wasn't it?

I'm grateful to God for making me the person that i am (i sound like i've just won a Grammy).

I believe every girl out there should define her pride, be confident and guard her reputation! Believe me, it's worth a million dollars!

S.M, you deserve much better. I've said this before and i'll say it again... A.N is a child, you need a REAL man! He was never marriage material and you can do better. This is why i reckon guys are immature until they hit 30!

S.M2, congrats on your Nikaah honey. I hope your marriage brings you eternal joy and happiness. I still can't believe you married a white boy, all through highschool you were a real tomboy, i would have thought you'll end up marrying a girl coz ur so masculine. But good on your man for converting to Islam.

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

Visiting Masood- the national hero

2007-11-14T08:00:00.000+04:30

The plaque just before Masoods grave!

Masoods final resting place. A hero, a defender, a fighter, a leader... a martyr. i couldn't believe how such an inevitable being could lie so helplessly. i cried. he didn't belong there. Before his death, he had dreamt he was going to die. he cried for his nation and his people. what will happen to them?

His memorial. Still undergoing construction...

This is how it will look like once completed.

One of Masoods men handed me this flower from his garden and told me that this flower will never grow old. It has a felt texture. i think he's right.

When the bombings would get too extreme, Masood would seek cover underground.

This is where Masood would sit and ponder. Bombs would drop but he wouldn't budge. That's what you call determination and bravery!

Masoods newly built family home for his 5 daughters and one son. just before moving in, he was martyred. His family visits annually and stay here.

Masoods garden. So serene and lovely. haven't seen any place like this in all of kabul!

Masoods guest house, long before he built the above house.

His house which he lived in. Had only 2 rooms and one bathroom. It was this that made me know that he was very dedicated to his people and didn't pocket peoples money for his own cause.

Masood lives on. One of the few pics i see him laughing.

Panjsher Valley.

I will provide a detailed post about the trip as soon as i get the time.

Ba omideh deedaar....

ISAF commander in Ghazni embraces Islam

2007-11-07T09:33:00.000+04:30

My face eyes widened and my face lightened when i read this article. Amazing!

ISAF commander in Ghazni embraces Islam

GHAZNI CITY, Nov 1
(Pajhwok Afghan News)

A commander of the NATO-led International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) embraced Islam in the presence of 2000 people in the Andar district of the southern Ghazni province on Thursday.

Cap. Cormier Michel (45) commands 300 ISAF troops in the Taliban-infested district. The Ghazni governor, district chief, provincial council members, local officials, elders, ISAF soldiers and students attended a ceremony marking the commander's conversion to Islam.

The ceremony that lasted well over three hours conclude with slogans Allah-o-Akbar (Allah is Great). Cap. Michel, who changed his name to Abdul Wahed, started his brief speech with Bismillah (In the name of Allah, the most Beneficent and the most Merciful."

During the last five years, Abdul Wahed pointed out, he had been studying Islamic books and he concluded that Islam is the first religion. Stationed in Ghazni for last the last 10 months, he was impressed with the behaviour of his translator.

In a chat with Pajhwok Afghan News, the captain remarked: "Islam is a religion of peace and brotherhood, but terrorists and extremists are bringing a bad name to it." After the ceremony, Abdul Wahed said he had informed his wife in the US about his acceptance of Islam. "My spouse did not show any negative reaction, but recommended not to marry another woman."

Why kill people when you can invite them to embrace Islam? And if they dont, at least they have a better understanding of Islam and will allow a better stage of coexistence between the religions. If extremists sincerely believe that Islam is the right religion, then maybe they should preach it and invite people with it's beauty rather than killing in masses and spreading it by shedding blood. Islam is a religion of peace and many are drawn to it simply by letting it speak on its own without bloodshed.

Big bomb

2007-11-07T07:47:00.000+04:30

Another suicide attack ripped in Pul Khumri killing 100 including MPs.

Please pray for their families.

More about me...

2007-11-06T09:40:00.000+04:30

I got this from home in kabul who got it from I don’t know. I love these...

First
* First job: my dads service station when i was 12. ate chocolate and icecream all day.
* First screen name: 'all my pride is all i have' not much of a name, huh?
* First funeral: My cousin. He was 12 and i was 15
* First pet: it was my brothers. a budgerigar whom we named Parendah. Now we have a lovely but vicious dog, Tyson.
* First piercing: my ears.
* First tattoo: none, so trashy! sorry pplz, just had to say it.
* First credit card: my shopping ego tells me to get one but my brain tells me otherwise.
* First enemy: ouch! a bit too extreme! never had one, hate and enmity is a waste of energy.

Last

* Last car ride: on my way to work
* Last kiss: my cute baby sister.
* Last movie watched: wasn't a movie. my family and i were watching family videos and laughing at the good old times.
* Last beverage drank: Water
* Last food consumed: coco pops
* Last phone call: Roshan (mobile phone company) operator.. trying to fix my international sms so i can get in contact with my girls. I'm going to have to change my number.
* Last time showered: This morning, yay, hot water... until it went cold on me.
* Last CD played: 'Fall in love' DONT LAUGH! *blush* it has oldies songs, lionel richie, diana ross and micheal bolton. My sister S was like 'omg, i can't believe you bought that. its them cds we used to see being advertised on TV and laugh at.' oh well, first time for everything... hehe
* Last website visited: www.bbc.co.uk i like keeping up to date with ALL news.

Now

* Single or taken: neither... confused you huh?
* Gender: Female
* Birthday: 8 August
* Sign: Leo.. although it describes my characteristics perfectly, i'm still not convinced it's true. Doubt i ever will be.
* Siblings: 1 brother and 5 gorgeous sisters.
* Hair color: brunette with a few blonde highlights... u can't see em but u can. lol. i'm thinking of going dark brown.. sultry! but makes me look older :(
* Eye color: medium brown
* Shoe size: 7.5... hey i am tall okay!
* Height: Why are local afghans so short? i'm 170cm and i like my height :)
* Wearing: black knit top, white blazer and black pants and chadar.
* Drinking: Water...
* Thinking about: how much work i have and...
* Listening to: believe it or not, INDIAN! Colleagues are playing it, not that bad.

Mastering the Chadari

2007-11-06T08:30:00.000+04:30

Wearing a Chadari it's so wrong. My forehead is where my eyes are supposed to be.

Better luck to me next time.

He's missing...

2007-11-06T08:21:00.000+04:30

A colleague is missing. He was previously kidnapped and held ransom in Khost, his tribe had vouched for his release. I won't reveal where he's been held.

Now it's the second time he's missing. Please pray for his safe return.

I have a dream...

2007-11-06T08:09:00.000+04:30

I've always been big on symbolism. Looking at our flag, i interpreted the three colours- although separate- as merging together to create a nice colour scheme. Perhaps the three primary tribes (Hazara, Pashtun and Tajik) can learn something from the flags they all embrace.

A colleague of mine, somehow found out i was related to Sayyaf. He expressed sincere apprehension towards him saying that his land had been purchased off him 'by force'. I listened. Responding only with a nod and a concerned look. At first he verbally attacked me, to which i calmly responded 'beyadarjan, u can choose your friends but not your family. If he were a friend of mine, i would accept your biased criticism towards me.' This calmed him and he began with his story about how he has deep respect for Sayaf but what he did wasn't fair. I offered my help in any way that i could.

Kabul crime busters

2007-11-01T13:30:00.000+04:30

There are two people whom I just admire in Kabul. Crime buster Ali Shah Paktiawal and attorney general Abdul Jabbar Sabit (an old friend of dads).

Abdul Jabbar Sabit, the attorney general, stated: “The Afghan Army will not be able to defend the country for 10 years, so the international force has to be here for at least a decade.”

I admire his courage. he's so blunt and straight to the point. He's an Afghan returnee from Canada whose downright serious when it comes to serving justice.

Ali Shah Paktiawal is a hero when it comes to anti corruption and busting out criminals.

'What made you start blogging?'

2007-10-31T15:03:00.000+04:30

This one's for you A.A... and of course all others who are interested.

Initially, when i arrived to Afghanistan i had the initiative of creating a documentary which will be aired all over Australia. With the S.S's assistance, we managed to find sponsors. Universities were interested in screening the documentary prior to even seeing it.I had the contribution of Afghan journalists.

Unfortunately, i became occupied in other aspects of my life and the poor security situation restricted my movement.

I began typing my manuscript- a book in the process about an Afghan girl born and raised in Australia trying to integrate in the place she always considered 'home'- Afghanistan. I reached to great lengths. i figured i needed a more effective method, one that wasn't so time consuming.

One day while i was surfing the net, i came accross a blog kept buy an afghan guy who had visited Afghanistan. it was incredibly interesting. so i began keepign an online journal (normally, i keep a written journal). From then on, i began typing. kept an account of daily happenings. Eventually, my aim is to convert this blog into a book.

I also wanted to get the message out and accross, not to be too political but just an average person trying to get through life in Kabul. I know for a fact that if i came across a blog like this when abroad, i'll be extremely curious.

So here i am, months later still typing.

At times i procrastinated, i lagged behind, gave up hope. but it was my friends interest, the comments and emails sent by all you guys that kept me moving. I picked up.

Particularly, one comment left by Kaka B and his support over the phone kept me going. He is an absolute legend, (apart from my parents)he's helped me through the toughest times of my life. I owe him much gratitude. He looks up to me with such admiration and encouraged me when i felt i was breaking. He has always told me i wasn't a 'typical afghan girl'. to this very day, i believe i'm not (no disrespect to others).

Also, W.A occasional emails saying nothing more but 'shalgham, update your blog.'was enough to get me typing blog essays.

Hope that's answered your question.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

An Afghan Photo Gallery

2007-10-31T14:43:00.000+04:30

With all credits to James Hill for his spectacular works.

health update

2007-10-30T15:30:00.000+04:30

Six months since my last check up, i was informed by our headquarters in Geneva that i need a medical examination prior to renewing my contract.

And so i did!

Results: All is well except kidney infection with high chance of stones. Nothing serious though, i'll just have a small operation and get it out.

The normal rate is 2-4 units, mine is TWENTY SIX!!! That explains why i get kidney aches, typical me... i ignore it.

I'm guessing it's because i eat and drink anything including tap water (yes, i have heard about the cats-in-the-tank myth).

I told W.A about it and this is how the conversation went. I couldn't stop laughing.

Me: The ______graphy will show whats going on. I can't remember the name coz the doc pronounced it way too Afghan.
W.A: fotooografee
Me: Lol, no i would have understood! I'd rather take the x ray pics myself with my digital camera. These docs have a 3 months MBBA bachelors.
W.A: Come on. Mate, the education system of Afg was soo hard that only 3% of the country could get an education.
Me: kadoo katee az ee gappet!
W.A: if your not smart enough, they kick you out of first grade.

Where to now? i have to get the _____graphy. do i trust the hospitals here?

I had a terrible day today! the medical results just worsened it. I was listening to the radio online and Natasha Bedingfield was singing Unwritten. Such an uplifting song, i used to put it up in my car everytime it came on. One of them songs u can sing along with.

It made me feel much better.

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

Your questions, my answers.

2007-10-30T07:55:00.000+04:30

This is me addressing you live from Kabul.

do you get feedback re your blog?
Yes, all the time! I get emails when i dont update it. I have recieved feedback from Afghans all over the globe thanking me and appreciating what i do. The pleasure is all mine!

Last item you bought:
8 Dvds (it takes me forever to watch it, i like buying em), bed sheet/covers, boots, a classy woolen coat (Qaraqol) it only cost me $400!, music cds, home theatre system for my room.

describe your fashion sense:
classy, chic, elegant and stylish... fashion comes and goes but style is forever. simplicity is elegance- i hate it when girls go overboard. yes, i do buy designer BUT in proportion- i budget my money well.

quantity or quality?
quality! i'd rather have a few genuines than a whole heap of fakes in all aspects of life.

describe your bedroom:
ummm... a neat wardrobe (yes i'm still the same old perfectionist!, my bed, dresser, side tables, my sofa set, home theatre system... what else am i to say? oh yeah and it's all classy!! lol i like interior designing!

your wardrobe:
neat, categorised!

how many pairs of shoes?
16. i just counted.hey, i have a sense of saving too. I manage my $$ well!

what are you wearing right now?
kalayeh afghani! jokes. i'm wearing my black designer suit and a grey shirt.

how's the weather?
chilly

whats in your handbag right now?
uff such detailed questions. ID card (in case i forget who i am lol), wallet, lipgloss, foundation, eyeliner, perfume- 'provocative woman', moisturiser, wet cleansing tissues, digital camera, flash drive, phone, chocolate. i have a special place for each item... yes i know i'm a perfectionist.

can't leave the house without...
my handbag and all the mentioned items. my bank card!!

how do ppl see you?
oh let me ask... lol. This is exactly whta A.A answered 'strong personality/character, classy, decisive, u know exactly what u want! loyal, faithful, decent, mature- REPUTATION,CONFIDENCE AND PRIDE lol remember that, u hold urself wit a lotta pride but ur also v down 2 earth. and u dont treat ppl bad but at the same time u wont tolerate being mistreated.you know wat ur worth!'

last person who emailed you?
A.B, dad, S.A, P.W.

three things you like doing...
1) laughing n quality conversation
2) shopping
3) quality time at home

three things that annoy you...
1) dumb ppl/ immaturity/ blondes
2) fake ppl
3) ppl with no manners (especially at the dining table!!)

last movie you watched...
Meet Joe Black- depiction of elegance.

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

winter bliss

2007-10-30T07:43:00.000+04:30

Last night: Parents went to visit a relative. Stayed home with my siblings, got them to complete their homework, put them in bed. then it was just me and the cold.

Lying in bed under three blankets with a Sidney Shelldon ('if tomorrow comes') novel and my phone. Playing sms ping pong with a friend. I drowned myself in the novel and let myself be absorbed by the aura.

Winter does have it's positives, i guess.

2007-10-29T13:30:00.000+04:30

Pitch black Paghman

2007-10-29T08:12:00.000+04:30

The black mountains of Paghman overshadowed us as the driver accelerated faster on the narrow road, swerving left and right avoiding oncoming traffic. My family picked me up after work and we went to Paghman. Yes i was freaking out. but at the same time, i felt it would be exciting. We had a great time!

Bought kebabs on the way, got there when it was dark, visited a relative. Returned home.

I'm not in the mood for subjective writing so u'll have to excuse me.

Got a medical check up done today, getting results later today. Been driving around in work vehicle all day which i hate coz it's like saying 'hey mr taliban, check me out. i work for your enemies, come and get me!' i'd rather catch cabs all day! okay, not really!

I found a new trick to avoid the stupid Afghan guards flirtation at the checkpoints. TALKING ENGLISH ON MY PHONE! it really works. i called a friend and started chatting, they checked my ID cards without saying a word!The US troops started a conversation with me in the middle of nowhere, so i was polite. They were really nice and asked if i wanted them to escort me out til my vehicle. I declined nicely but gave the afghan guards the 'dont ever mess with me again' look. I think they got the point.

Okies, back to work!

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

H.A- i try to deter from politics as much as i can but it's the only interesting thing that happens here. How's the election campaign going? I read the debate transcript with Johnny Boy and Kevin Rudd. What are the polls showing? okay okay fine, no more politics. Your right about my blog being political i just scrolled down and saw the past few blogs have been all politics.

Empty

2007-10-28T16:11:00.000+04:30

Rainy weather. Depressing music. Boring office atmosphere coz everyone had a fight (excluding me) so i'm stuck in the middle, tolerating boredom.

Weekend went great. Thursday- i got home and headed straight to work. My sisters paywaazi! I had a terrible stomach ache from eating roadside chapli kabab (thanks to my colleagues).

Friday- visited grandads burial site. then went on a family bbq with my sisters and my bro in laws. Evening went to a posh Turkish restaurant for dinner.

Saturday- took my sisters out shopping. we literally shopped til we dropped. Had lunch at an international Lebanese restaurant.i bought boots, DVDs, checked up on my tailor made coat (made of Qaraqol), bought a bed set. had an argument with the guard at the restaurant door for giving girls a hard time. he won't let em in until he flirts with them. so i gave him a piece of me. well not really, but i told his supervisor. My sisters and i were freaking out upon leaving. He's armed with a gun and we were paranoid that he'll shoot us in retaliation.

We weren't bothered waiting for the driver to pick us up so we decided to catch a taxi. Two taxis stopped, the first was a guy aged around 30. the second one was an elder guy aged around 50. i told my sister to go for the second taxi coz he's old and in case he decides to kidnap us (yes, i am paranoid) at least we can beat him out of the taxi and hijack it. S went to the first taxi leaving T and i debating about which one is the safer alternative. This is how it went:

ME: The younger one is harder to beat up if he decides to kidnap us, look at him.. he's so big and fat!

T: No, the younger one is more into contemporary living. look at him, you can tell he's anti-Taliban. He won't kidnap us! The old one looks like a Talib, look at his beard!

I reluctantly accepted the first option. Surprisingly, the driver was very 'normal'. he wouldnt stare in his rear view as other drivers would and he didnt attempt to converse. I felt alright until we got home. I told the driver to drop us off a few houses before ours (it's my 'safe' technique so that we don't give away our residential details). I handed him a 100 Afs note, he declined saying he didn't have change. I told him not to worry about it. he then responded by saying he's not a taxi driver! i was like WHAT? but i acted calm and cool. left the 100 Afs in the car seat. the second i shut the door of the taxi, i turned to my sister saying, I TOLD YOU SO, he was weird!i told them from this point on, i'm catching the cab!

LAter that night, i told my parents the story! mum laughed, dad explained the taxi situation. White are unregistered taxis (the one we got into) and yellows are official taxis.

Anyways, nearly time to go home. I need to wrap up.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Hear ye... Hear ye...

2007-10-25T10:00:00.000+04:30

I couldn’t take it any more! My eyes became too wet to see, I dropped my head and waited for them to finish. Every pair of eyes in the room told a dreadful story, a horrific past. yet they continue to smile, this was only a fraction of kabuls poor and needy. Some of the children told their stories with no emotion. As if losing a parent was alright.

Suddenly, I realised why I was in Kabul. It was for children like them. how could I be so selfish and turn away from these faces. my moral conscience would’nt
allow it. Even if I did return to Australia, I’d be sure to leave something
behind and contribute somehitng.blockquote>
- From my speech which i delivered to prominent guests at 'Mahboba's Promise' hope house (orphanage)

Where are our educated Afghans? Your country is calling you, awaiting you, in need of you. In every Afghan childs weep, in every Afghan mothers tear, in every Afghan fathers quest... You are the answer!

Our Afghans abroad who were once respected engineers, doctors, professors, lawyers in their homes are now taxi drivers. Even a king away from home is a beggar.

Nothing is greater than the satisfaction one recieves from helping an outstretched hand. No feeling is greater than feeling an orphans hair run through your fingers.
No feeling is greater than wiping away the tears of a mother in search of her long missing son. No pain is stronger than the one which an orphan or a widow shares through their story. No smile is more genuine than the one on a poor womans face.

They continue to smile yet in every voice of every man, in every infants cry of fear, in every cry of every child. In ever voice I hear the cruelty of war, the unhealed wounds, the pain and sufferings...hoping and praying for a day to come.
- From my speech which i delivered to prominent guests at 'Mahboba's Promise' hope house (orphanage). When i got to this part of my speech, i couldnt hold back tears.

Ba omideh salamatee Afghanistan. Khuda negahdaar.

But for how long...?

2007-10-25T09:48:00.000+04:30

I spoke about these people with President Hamid Karzai, during a luncheon in Kabul. He told me that Afghanistan would welcome any Afghan who wants to return home. It was an honorable position to take. But historically, even in the far more stable era of royalty, the central Afghan government has never been able to provide adequately for its people. Today, the country is still recovering from a 30-year nightmare of war, famine, drought, displacement and massive human suffering. By all indications, the government is overwhelmed with the task of providing even basic services, and does not have the capacity to absorb the millions of Afghans who have come back. In the villages that I visited, the presence of the government was simply not palpable, severely testing the self-sufficiency in which Afghans take so much pride
- Khaled Hosseini

A single death - a tragedy; a million - a mere statistic

2007-10-24T15:29:00.000+04:30
In Paktika Province, a young man, whose chest was wrapped with an explosive vest was en route to the place where he would detonate himself. But then, he saw people at prayer in a mosque, and he changed his mind. He went to the police. He began removing his explosive vest, but it went off. He alone was killed.

In Uruzgan Province, a young man, recently home from Pakistan where he had attended a religious school, announced a similar intention to his family. He was going to kill the enemy by killing himself. The article said that he handed over $3,600, presumably a reward for what he was about to do. In front of his mother, brother and two sisters, he displayed his explosive vest. The young man's mother was horrified, and she immediately tried to remove the vest from his body. The bomb detonated. The young man, his mother, and his three siblings were killed instantly.

Ambivalence and fear surely accompany each bomber on the way to destruction; anguish and dread must fill the hearts of their family members, if they know ahead of time. After the fact, grief must anchor every feeling.

I think of that mother. What was the meaning of her life if not the well-being of her children? What could be worse than the death of one's children by one's child? As the mother saw the suicide vest on her son, and as she then tried to wrestle it off, how could she not have been screaming inside, "Who did this to my child?"
I think of the siblings, witnessing the horror unfolding before them. How helpless they must have felt, with their last glance fixed on a violation of all they had been taught to love and value. I think of that first bomber, who, en route to killing, accidentally caught a glimpse of worship, which is nothing but the wish to affirm life, which is another name for God. I think of the bomb masters, who recruited those boys, manipulated them, tricked them into imagining that death could be an affirmation. And I think of those who created the situation within which all of this unfolds.

President George W. Bush tells us that, if we don't defuse the regional body vest carefully, World War III will start. There it is. Bush himself acknowledging at last what, under his leadership, the United States has done. We have put an explosive vest on Earth itself.

And now our job is to get it off. The revelation here is that, in the new age, every bomber is a suicide bomber.

Afg refutes Israel! Go Afg... :)

2007-10-24T15:19:00.000+04:30

This incident made my heart weep. I was only 14 when i found out. But the repercussion was enormous. i became deeply interested in the Middle East crisis, researching, reading, exploring, analysing from every angle (religiously, politically and historically) the palestinian cause became my one and only passion for the next years of my life (and it still is). I traced Jerusalem all the way back to Being an adolescent, i created a 2m x 2m israeli flag to burn at protests. i wore a green kalimah bandanna and carried banners in demonstrations, chanting pro palestine slogans in Arabic. i presented heartfelt speeches which made ppl cry in front of thousands, wrote letters to the gov't. I defended the palestinians in debates against pro-Israeli Zionists. I was out there, doing what i could while other teenagers felt crazy 'in love'. i was in love too, with the palestinian cause! At times, i cried but over all, it made me strong enough to deal with where i am today- Kabul.

I have felt for the Palestinian cause for as long as i can remember- even more than for Afg. Perhaps because i saw Afghans fighting Afghans, Muslims fighting their own. so it made no sense to me. the middle east crisis was different. Spoken out against the oppression imposed by Zionists. I hold nothing against Jews or Judaism, it's Zionism and it's followers which i resent with a passion!

Anyways, here's an article which made me proud of Afg :)

An official at Afghanistan's embassy in Germany has been replaced for inviting an Israeli diplomat to a function, a foreign ministry spokesman said on Tuesday.

“He was a political employee of the embassy and has been replaced because of inviting the Israeli diplomat,” said Sultan Ahmad Baheen.

Like the majority of Muslim countries, Afghanistan does not recognize the Jewish state.

The invitation to a function celebrating Afghanistan's Independence Day in August was issued to the Israeli diplomat due to a “technical mistake,” Mr. Baheen added.

Mr. Baheen said official was removed because Afghanistan had no diplomatic ties with Israel.

The Real Afghanistan

2007-10-24T15:07:00.000+04:30

Sergeant Villalta takes notes. "We'll share this information with the governor, and make sure something is done."

"No! No!" says Sardar Mohammed, stepping forward. "We don't trust the governor. If he gets food, he gives it to 10 families. He puts money in his pocket. We trust you more than him. Bring aid directly to us."

My parents taught me to listen to good words even if it came from a not so good person. Having said that, i found Osama Bin Ladin's latest video tape release as being an integral piece of advice for all (if chanelled in the correct method).

Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden called for Iraqi insurgents to unite and avoid "extremism" that causes divisions in a new audiotape aired Monday on Al-Jazeera television, trying to overcome splits by some Sunnis who have opposed the terror group's branch in Iraq.

Bin Laden said insurgents should admit "mistakes" and that he even advises himself not to be extreme in his leadership.

"Some of you have been lax in one duty, which is to unite your ranks,"
bin Laden said in the audiotape. "Beware of division ... Muslims are waiting for you to gather under a single banner to champion righteousness. Be keen to oblige with this duty."

"I advise myself, Muslims in general and brothers in al-Qaida everywhere to avoid extremism among men and groups," he said, saying leaders should not build themselves up as the sole authority, and that instead mujahideen should follow "what God and his prophet have said."

Bin Laden used the Arabic word "ta'assub," which in traditional Islamic thought means extremism in allegiance or adherence to a group, to a degree that excludes others _ apparently advising flexibility to overcome divisions. (The Associated Press, 22 Oct 2007)

One advice for Bin Laden- Take up your own advice and deter from extremism!

An Afghan Tale

2007-10-24T15:03:00.000+04:30
Once upon a time there was a country, more a space than a nation, landlocked, mountainous, impoverished and windblown.

There resided many peoples, including Pashtuns and Tajiks and Uzbeks and Turkmen, and a new tribe called the Americans.

They had come, the Americans, after 30 years of bloodshed, to bring peace to this land called Afghanistan. But what did they know - what could they know - of life behind burkas, or beyond mud walls, or inside minds made mad by war?

Past goat herds and yellowing almond trees, the helmeted Americans drove their armored Humvees. Beside lurching piles of battered tires, children gathered in villages and, unlike those in another broken land called Iraq, they smiled and waved.

The Americans talked about empowering Afghans. Sometimes they took to Blackhawk helicopters and swooped along the dun-colored river beds and sent goats scurrying for cover.

The 26,000 U.S. troops meant well. They wielded billions of dollars. They calculated "metrics" of progress. They had learned, to their cost, how this faraway place - abandoned to pile rubble on rubble - could nurture danger.

Not only was it once home to the American-funded Islamists who humbled the Soviet empire. It also housed their jihadist offspring, who, like sorcerers' apprentices, turned on a distracted sponsor and brought the dust of two fallen towers to Manhattan.

To help forge a better Afghanistan, or just an Afghanistan, the Americans involved their NATO friends. An alliance forged to defend the West against the Soviets was transformed into an agent of democratic change in southwest Asia.

How strange! The enemy now was Taliban Islamofascists rather than Kremlin totalitarians. On a hillside in southeastern Afghanistan rose "Camp Dracula," a garrison housing 700 Romanian soldiers on this NATO mission.

The process will be very slow. The West's stomach for investing blood and treasure here for another decade is unclear. But I see no alternative if Afghanistan is to move from its destructive gyre and the global threat that brings.

The children's smiles suggest hope still flickers. To lose Afghanistan by way of Iraq - and to do so on the border of an explosive nuclear-armed Pakistan - would be a terrible betrayal and an unacceptable risk.

That, alas, is no fairy tale.

Latest happenings in Kabul

2007-10-24T14:53:00.000+04:30
Canada is paying Afghan police wages in cash, sidestepping the Afghan government it accuses of corruption, to bolster its own troops'safety in the volatile south, a Canadian daily reported Tuesday. (AP, 9 October 2007)

"The German engineer along with four Afghan hostages were freed in exchange for five Taliban prisoners," said Mohammad Naeem, governor of Jaghato district in Wardak province. (AFP, 10 October 2007)

Whatever happened to the Afg gov'ts 'no hostage deal' policy? Read the following article about arranged marriages for girls as young as 3 years old. Upsetting...

When asked about her engagement party this summer, little Sunam glanced blankly at her family, then fiddled with her gold-sequined engagement outfit _ a speechless response not out of shyness, but because she does not yet talk much. Sunam is 3.

The toddler was engaged to her 7-year-old cousin Nieem in June, in a match made by their parents.

Despite the efforts of the government and rights groups, the engagement and marriage of children still persists in this country, especially among poor, uneducated families or in the countryside.

About 16 percent of Afghan children are married under the age of 15, according to recent data from UNICEF. And there is evidence that the poverty of recent years is pushing down the marriage age further in some areas.

The practice can force couples into a miserable union and sometimes expose the girl to violence if she resists.

Sunam's father committed her in marriage as a gift to his sister, Fahima, who does not have a daughter and desperately wants one. Marriage between first cousins is common in Afghanistan because families believe it is better to know their in-laws well. The two families live in the same modest housing compound in Kabul.

"It's a very common problem. I know people in my own family who were engaged this way," said Orzala Ashraf, founder of Humanitarian Assistance for the Women and Children of Afghanistan. "The engagement happens before birth in some cases."

In an unhappy forced marriage, the man can take a woman he loves as a second wife in Islamic and Afghan culture. But the girls are trapped.
Some commit suicide _ in Kapisa province, just north of Kabul, an 18-year-old girl shot and killed herself because her family would not break off her three-year engagement to a drug addict, Afghanistan's Pajhwok News Agency reported in August.

Others run away, sometimes falling into drugs or prostitution.

"Many girls who want to marry as they wish run away as a threat tactic to their family," Ashraf said. "There is no law that forbids running away, but it is a matter of honor."

The tactic sometimes works. Ashraf helped shelter one 17-year-old girl who ran away from home for a few days, humiliating her parents into letting her marry the man she loved.

The minimum legal age of marriage in Afghanistan is 16 for girls and 18 for boys. Yet child marriages account for 43 percent of all marriages, according to the United Nations. The reasons are often economic: The girl's family gets a "bride price" of double the per capita income for a year or more, according to the World Bank.

In March, the women's ministry and rights group Medica Mondiale started a campaign to encourage marriage registration before a judge, which they hope will cut down on forced and child marriages. Marriage registration is already mandated but rarely practiced.

The families of Sunam and Nieem are convinced that if the two grow up together knowing they will be married, they will be happy to wed in the future. The plan is for them to marry when Sunam is 14 or 15.

Nieem's mother, Fahima, said if the children grow up to dislike each other, the families will break off the arrangement. "It's their whole lives. If they don't like each other they will have problems their whole lives," she said.

But according to the children's aunt, Najiba, the match is unbreakable.

"We are Pashtun people. If we engage them, there is no way to separate them. They will marry," Najiba said. "In our tribe, it is like this.
When they get engaged, they cannot divorce."

Many engaged couples do not meet until after they are married. In some cases, two pregnant women _ either sisters or good friends _ agree to make a match if one has a boy and the other a girl.

Girls from fatherless families _ there are many in war-torn Afghanistan _ often are forced into the worst engagements. Jamila Zafar, a social worker for rights group Women for Afghan Women, says it took 2 1/2 months of negotiations to free 14-year-old Mudira in Paghman province outside Kabul from her engagement.

Mudira had lost her father, and her uncle forced the girl into an engagement with his son, a handicapped amputee. When the son died, the uncle engaged her for a second time to another handicapped son.

When Zafar's colleagues talked with the uncle and his family, the relatives threatened to kill them and went to Mudira's house to beat her stepfather. Only under pressure from Paghman police and officials was the engagement called off.

It is nearly impossible to break engagements "because you're considered the other family's property. You're theirs now. You've been given away,"
said Manizha Naderi, director of Women for Afghan Women. "It's obviously barbaric. It's going to take generations to change this custom."

One 22-year-old woman from Kabul has tried to break off her engagement for eight years. Her 36-year-old fiance _ whom she describes as uneducated, conservative and cruel, "like a Taliban" _ has threatened to kill her if she refuses him. His father has also beaten her.

"I have told my mother for eight years that I don't accept this man,"
the engaged woman said, asking that her name be withheld for fear his family would attack her. "My mother said, 'What can I do? You don't have any brothers, you don't have a father.'"

Her father died in a car accident when she was 6 months old, so a close friend of her father took it upon himself to find her an appropriate husband _ his son.

She is educated and works for a prominent international organization.
Her fiance is a tailor with a high school diploma.

"I'm young. I want to go to school," she said, at a coffee shop in a Kabul shopping mall. Her voice was full of desperation and resignation. (The Associated Press, 12 October 2007)

Hundreds of angry villagers demonstrated in eastern Afghanistan Saturday alleging that US troops had burnt the holy Koran, a charge the US-led coalition rejected.

Residents of Kunar province blocked a road for several hours before parliamentarians, in their home districts for the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Fitr, were able to calm the crowd, an AFP reporter said. (13 October 2007)

UK... A sanctuary for fugitive warlords? That's what it sure seems like. This is the second case of the money yet to be opened.

An Afghan warlord suspected of being involved in a massacre of civilians has been allowed to stay in the UK - because kicking him out would infringe his human rights.

Assadullah Nawazzoai was allegedly a former commander of a fundamentalist group which now fights UK and US troops in Afghanistan.

The 46-year-old was believed to have been involved in the siege of Kabul in the mid-1990s when hundreds of innocent civilians were killed, although he denies any responsibility for the deaths of non-combatants. Nawazzoai, who is living with his brother in Ilford, East London, says he will be killed if he returns to Afghanistan. He plans to bring his three wives and seven children over. Ministers are desperate to throw him out, but are convinced the courts would order them to let him stay.

Office Moments

2007-10-17T15:49:00.000+04:30
Colleague: 'allah dukhtar, tu cheqa khonok khoor asti'
Me: aah mefamom.
Colleague: ah dega, kampalam beyaree cheqa maza meta.

It is routine here, whoever brings tea for themselves has to ask the rest if they want coffee/tea/water. i brought it the first time, in the morning. throughout the day, i wouldnt go again. eventually i got frustrated.

Me: chay namekhori??? (what it means is i want water)
Colleague: tu namekhori?
Me: ma awardom wakht, nobatet ast
Colleague: cheqa cheshm safeed asteem, ba omideh yak dega shishteem ke chai beyara.

Colleague brings me tea.

Me: ma kho chay namekhorommmmm. u know i dont drink tea.
Colleague: drink tea, u need to get used to it.

My Eid

2007-10-17T15:27:00.000+04:30
Only the clouds feel my pain
my eyes shed tears, hurting deeply.
So too do the clouds.
I grieve, so too it does- grey in mourning
Hurting silently.

Sitting in her bed under the covers typing away furiously at her laptop, spilling her emotions in colourful words, dismissing her pain and venting her sentiments. Her darkened brown eyes tell a story as her neatly manicured fingers rapidly conveys her mood. Her eyelids feel heavy, lack of sleep and crying. She stops for half a second and looks outside the window. Her silky brown hair resting on the side of her face, she frowns slightly. A few odd kites flew forlornly in the sky. The dark clouds cast a gloomy shade. Even Kabul was in tears.

I just felt like typing that from a third person narration. I wrote that yesterday in my journal when my aunts and uncles had left for the airport to return to Oz. The house was in thunderous silence.

My sister, my brother in law and my brother had gone to town. My younger sisters were playing in their rooms. My baby sister was asleep. I suddenly felt so alone. I looked at my phone. It seemed so useless to me. I sms more than I call, back home my phone would constantly beep. I had to put it on ‘vibrate’ mode so it didn’t disturb the rest of the house.

I went to my room, sat in my bed under the covers coz it was way too cold. Put my laptop on my lap and unleashed my feelings. I looked at the silver box which I had brought to my room. It was the box which my grandfather had packed his things in hope of returning to Afghanistan before he left for Australia recently. I brought it to my room so that my dad doesn’t come across it. It would only make him upset.

I opened the lid and peeked inside. I didn’t want to touch anything; I left it as it was. Just the way he had packed it. Little did he know he would no longer return. It made me feel very sad. A small brown book caught my sight, I gently leaned into it and pulled it out. It was a photo album of my cousin who had passed on in 2001 at the age of 13. he was close to all of us, we grew up together. I flipped the pages. Tears filled my eyes. I hate death, departure and goodbyes.

The night before was my sisters wedding, tired and exhausted I had fallen asleep. I had promised my aunt 1 I’d take her shopping the very next day before their departure. Which meant no later than 8.00am. I woke up with a knock on my door, ‘qandeh ama, nawakht mesha.’ I had forgotten its their last day today. I jumped out of bed and went to the restrooms. We left for Share Naw in a taxi, it’s so much easier travelling in a taxi. I discussed a few things with her and she advised me many things- all of which I wanted to hear.

My grandmother later on confirmed it. My dads uncle, my dad and all my relatives were in the room. The topic of marriage came up. I cringed, it’s definitely about me. Dad mentioned there’s a doctor asking for my hand. I looked down, saying nothing. I indirectly explained to everyone loud and clear that I don’t want to marry anyone who doesn’t know me. I stated that this person has never met nor seen me, he’s interested in either my dads money or my passport. Some raised eyebrows, others frowned. One relative from my dads’ extensive family spoke up. I sighed silently in disagreement. This woman never understands, she’s always bringing up crazy proposals. ‘why won’t u marry someone from your dads side? Why don’t u like them? If you think it’s about the money, it’s not. They’re all rich themselves and they have status.’

I looked at her and responded ‘I don’t mean any disrespect but no matter how rich they are, let’s not forget that one Australian dollar is worth 40 Afghanis.’ Everyone laughed. I really didn’t see the funny side of it. ‘Ay chawtaar… very smart’ my uncle commented. ‘But it’s true,’ I started giggling.

My grandmother took my side and gave it to them straight, ‘what this girl wants, she’s not saying it because she doesn’t want to disappoint her father. I agree with her, no man in Afghanistan is worthy of her. She’s too intelligent, smart and has a deep personality. Let her chose for herself’. She ordered everyone not to refer any proposals to me and to refute them immediately. I grinned. She spoke in my favour.

My aunt 1 had told me not to marry anyone from here, not the doctors not the engineers or their lawyers. I had no intention of doing so. That was endorsed. My uncles also agreed, they told me I deserve much more. ‘Anyone to let go of you is an ultimate fool.’ My uncle said. I laughed.

Later that day, aunt 2 held my hands in hers and told me, ‘If there’s anything that you need, I’m only a phone call away.’ I couldn’t say much. I responded with a broken smile and a nod. I sat in the room watching them pack. I carefully watched my uncle pack his suitcase. He had too much to pack but only a small suitcase. I looked at him, seeing if he can do it right. Eventually, he gave up. ‘Someone get me another suitcase, please’ he said in exasperatingly. I started giggling ‘Allow me,’ I offered to pack. I took out his towel and explained to him that it’s not necessary and takes too much space. The second thing I took out was his bathroom bag. I opened it and gave him a funny look, ‘You’re going to take half empty shampoo bottles and used soap back to Australia?’ he laughed. I emptied his bathroom bag, neatly folded it and zipped the suitcase shut. ‘Voila, too easy mate!’ I said. ‘Wow, magic.’ He said sarcastically. ‘Haha, very funny’ I shot back.

My sisters wedding went well. I sent both of my sisters to the salon at 11am. I went to the Russian hairdresser with my cousin. We got our hair done there, caught a taxi hours later to meet my sisters at their salon. She was close to finishing. We put on our black robes, and covered our hair. There were too many men waiting outside for their brides from the salons next door. The hairdresser insisted on taking my photo, I declined saying I have no permission to do so. Truth be told, hairdressers tend to take photos of girls and give it to women who are looking for brides for male relatives. Eventually, she gave up.

The decorated Mercedes waited elegantly outside the salon. My sisters husband-to-be escorted her to the car. Everything happened accordingly. But the minute I stepped behind the bridal table with my sister. I felt the negative ambience, I was spun out. I recited ayatul qursi in my mind. I kept getting stuck, forgetting the rest. I deafened myself to the music and began again. I can’t have forgotten. My sister and I looked at each other. I smiled and she returned my smile, she knew what was going on in my head.

Black magic.

I’m not scared of suicide attacks, I’m not scared of rocket propel grenades or being kidnapped or whatever Kabul holds. But I’m scared of the evilness of black magic. It’s around you, waiting to hit you. I was told that someone attempted black magic, but because I constantly recite Ayatul Kursi, it has protected me. Should the curse hit me, it will have devastating effects. At first I laughed it off, ignoring it. But that night at the wedding I felt it. I’m not going to say anymore just yet. I’ll be seeing a mullah soon.

On 2nd day of Eid we were on our way to my grandma’s house. All of a sudden French convoys passed. I heard a little boy scream before a loud bang. A crowd gathered next to the Corolla to see what had happened. The tank had smashed the car which was parked on the side of the road.

I wish you all a belated happy Eid. May Allah accept your prayers, your fast and may he guide us all on his righteous path. Amen. I'm sorry i didn't send out personalised emails as i normally used to but i'm a little cut with time. You all know i still love you.

Further, check out this site- www.masoodkamandy.com An American born Afghan (born in 1981) who is a photographer for NY Times and has established the Photography dept in Kabul University in 2006 where he also lectured. I read about him in an amateur Afghan magazine, but his work is excellent. It's all on his site, take a look.

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

Dear Maurizio

2007-10-17T09:30:00.000+04:30
In my previous entry, Maurizio from Italy posted a comment:

maurizio said...
Hi..i speak about your blog in my program on a radio,Contatto Radio from Carrara,Italy..If you want to write something about Kabul i like to take your words on the radio..You can listen to our radio in streaming on www.contattoradio.it and talk with me live on messenger from 10,30 to 12,30 on Monday with chat@contattoradio.it

First of all I would like to thank you for your enthusiasm towards my blog. As you may know, i instigated this blog with the intention to portray the image of Kabul from the perspective of an Afghan girl born and raised in Australia. This is not kept for any political rationale. Although i write about recent occurings, i tend to keep it objective and neutral.

I would more than happily participate in your radio. It's a shame i can not understand Italian. But regardless of our different languages and culture, peace and hope is a universal language.

I shall email you in the near future to discuss future endeavours.

As for my other readers, i will update you about my weekend soon.

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Kabul in pictures III

2007-10-09T13:56:00.000+04:30

Photoes... thats self-explanatory. i'm not in the mood for writing much. Hope ur having a better day than i am.

Ufffff... frustrated

2007-10-09T13:34:00.000+04:30
Bakhuda tang ast dilam, tang ast dilam, tang ast dilam...

It's that time of the month again when i feel really down. the time when most guys are freaked out and only girls understand.. PMS phase of the month. anyways, during this time a girl needs tender loving care (and i'm sure most girls agree). ladies, am i right or am i right?

I get really cranky and moody, and i just need someone to talk to when i get like that. To listen to what i have to say, not walk out on me. It's not like i enjoy it, i really dont! I feel bad coz i knwo that the people around me, and the people i love might be offended. Back home, (i'm sure many of you remember) no one could tell. as long as i'm having a good time, i'm all happy and smiles.

About my previous blog, the blank squares... i like the way W put it.

I read your blog the other night and am very proud of how ur handling yourself! I also attempted to check ur blog out tonite but all i could see was a page with title Kabul in Motion - the page was blank. Not sure if its a website problem or a very critical view of actual life in kabul from your perspective!

No, kadoo.. it's not that. They're actually videos of Kabul (yeh i know ur getting all happy) but dont worry, i'll fix it up. If not after this entry, maybe another day. Sarem dard mekona and i feel really crap. I know i should have replied to your email. But i hope this suffices. I am joking, i have replied. Btw, which poems did u say you liked?

So yeah, i decided to talk to F online so she can make me feel better. But as usual, she went on about the evilness of the male gender..haha. This is how the conversation went:

in Kabul >> says:
i feel down... stupid PMS

in Kabul >> says:
today i been feeling really depressed.. it's not normal for me to feel this way coz i never do

in Kabul >> says:
i just wanna go and cry

F - says:
i am over it

in Kabul >> says:
how did u manage to do that? lol

F - says:
get over it?

in Kabul >> says:
yeah

F - says:
well talk 2 sum1 about nething

F - says:
pray, that helps

F - says:
put music on and dance

F- says:
have ice cream

in Kabul >> says:
i do.. but its that time of the month

F - says:
watch a movie

Fereshta - says:
me 2
Fereshta - says:
awwww my shaadigak

F - says:
guys man they just make things worse

F - says:
they ONLY care about themself

in Kabul >>:
honey, ur not helping

F - says:
haha

F - says:
i am just telling u the truth

F - says:
they cant be relied on 2 make u feel beter

F - says:
only good at one thing: make u feel worse

in Kabul >>
not all of em..depending on the maturity level. some are ok

F - says:
u should stick 2 ice cream and dancing

in Kabul >>:
lol

F- says:
its amazing what some good music can do

in Kabul >>:
i need to listen to baraan... omid or Ahmad zahir

in Kabul >>:
lol

F - says:
yes its true... lets put it this way they are great fun n good friends but when things change and u start a relationship and expectations start 2 give way then they suck

in Kabul >>:
uffff ur such a man-basher. lol.

F - says:
no no that will make u cry

F - says:
cryn is not bad...

F - says:
i guess its ur pms

F - says:
it happens 2 me everymonth

in Kabul >>
i hate it

in Kabul >>
i feel sorry for ppl around me... but then when i realise theyre being jerks instead of understanding. i dont!

F - says:
lol

F - says:
haha

F- says:
stuff em

Eid is coming up and so are other occasions (i will reveal details in my next entry)I wont be at work for a few days or so. Good chance for me to go to Dubai?!

My head is hurting, I think i'm going to call it a day and go home, do some shopping to feel a little better.

Ba Omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Share Naw

2007-10-07T08:23:00.000+04:30

Kabul Night- Still and moving

2007-10-03T08:38:00.000+04:30

Intercontinental Ball room

The band- theres a word for this in dari, not sure of it. But its entertainment while you eat

The dance floor, i think!

Afghan kebab- right by the pool

Kebabs, live Afghan music, dinner- all by the pool @ intercontinental hotel.

Deep from the heart...

2007-10-02T15:30:00.000+04:30
Emptiness and blank emotions. I seem like i'm so tough, but little do people know that small things hurt me. People close to me know this.

Have you ever expressed genuinity and sincerity only to be confronted with disbelief? It hurts when people think your not being real when in fact you are. To pay the price for someone elses mistakes and stupidity. To be at the right place at the wrong time.

To trust someone and not be trusted in return. to believe what they say but when it comes to you, be doubted.

I know trust is earned and not given- but at the same time i would expect, in return, a little of what i give. Don't we all?

I trust people and see the good in them, because i believe there is goodness in everyone and that it overpowers the negativity (regardless). i believe what ppl tell me because i know there is some degree of sincerity.

Unfortunately, this involves the risk of getting hurt and betrayed. but i would take that upon myself to trust others and see the good in this world.

all this is concealed within.

I just wish karma would take its toll with me.

Just a thought... too much pride

Afg working for International Organisation- kidnapped.

2007-10-02T09:02:00.000+04:30
A wake up call... *gasp* This took place 50km from Kabul city.

Five Afghans linked to international groups working in Afghanistan have
been kidnapped, officials said Monday in the latest in a slew of abductions
blamed on Taliban rebels or criminals.

Later Sunday one of their superiors was called by a man who said, "We
have taken your people and you have to pay us some money," Qaraeen said.
(Source- AFP)

Afg teen executed for carrying US dollars

2007-10-02T08:52:00.000+04:30
South Afghanistan is heating up, not that its any cooler. Musa Qala in Helmand is under 100% authority of the Taliban. Sangin and Lashkar Gah are on the verge of toppling into the Taliban regime. Uruzgan, Zabul, Nimroz, Helmand and Kandahar are perhaps the worst followed by the Eastern regions (Kunar, Nangarhar- where the famous Tora Bora is situated).

The article below highlights the injustices of the so-called 'Taliban'. When I recieved an update in my inbox, the title caught my attention. I just had to post it. So unfair...

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan_Taliban militants hanged a teenager in southern
Afghanistan because he had American money in his pocket, stuffing five
US$1 bills into his mouth as a warning to other villagers not to use dollars, police
said Monday. Taliban militants elsewhere killed eight police.

The 15-year-old boy was hanged from a tree on Sunday in Helmand, the most violent province in the country and the world's No. 1 poppy-growing region.
"The Taliban warned villagers that they would face the same punishment if they were caught with dollars," said Wali Mohammad, the district police chief in Sangin.
Dollars are commonly used in Afghanistan alongside the afghani, the local currency,
though dollars are more commonly seen in larger cities where international
organizations are found.
[passage omitted]
The Taliban killed another man in Sangin on Saturday who had sought farm assistance and seeds from an international aid program, Mohammad said.
The militants accused him of being a spy and shot him to death.

Another explosion...Saturday's replica

2007-10-02T08:11:00.000+04:30
Just recieved news of another suicide attack between Chahrahe Qambar and Afshar. The target was another police bus. The same procedure (in Saturday's attack) was employed by the suicide bomber this morning. He entered a Police Bus before detonating himself. There are casualties, but the number is unknown as yet. We recieved this terrible news at 7.15am this morning.

This is too upsetting!

In the political arena (since Saturdays suicide attack), Karzai has made unsuccessful attempts to reach a truce with the Taliban and warlord Hekmatyar- even offering them cabinet posts in Meshrano Jirga. Both have turned him down. Hekmatyar had recently suggested for foreign troops to be replaced with military troops from Islamic countries and the Taliban rejected Karzais offer issuing an ultimatem that all foreign troops evacuate Afghanistan before they decide to make any peace deals.

"Taliban are not interested in government posts - ministries or anything.
We want the withdrawal of foreign forces and we stand by our position," Qari
Yusuf Ahmadi told news agencies. "As long as they have not withdrawn, we'll
never talk with the Kabul administration." (Source- BBC News)
I guess he's gotten his point across.
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Oh so sweet...

2007-10-02T08:02:00.000+04:30
A friend who told me to post this asked me to title it 'By my love' or something of the like. W, if i had remembered, i would have titled it as such.

You have no idea
how hard I've looked for a gift to bring You.
Nothing seemed right.
Whats the point of bringing gold to a gold mine,
or water to the Ocean.
Everything I came up with
was like taking spices to the Orient.
Its no good giving my heart and soul
because You already have these.
So - I've brought You a mirror.
Look at Yourself and remember me. -Rumi

Last night we went out for dinner. After, we went to Intercontinental hotel for coffee. The view was so pretty. I took plenty of photoes but unfortunately i do not have my camera with me to upload the pics. Will do tomorrow, bakhayr.

Got home to see that we already had guests. They left quite early (930pm) giving us the chance to spend some quality time with family. i hit the bed at 1am.

Will put pics up soon!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar!

Afghan blood continues to spill

2007-09-30T08:46:00.000+04:30

Che begaam az dasteh tu ay roozegaar, be tu chi mereseh az shekasteh mann...
A bus carrying dozens of Afghan soldiers in Kabul was ripped apart by a powerful bomb on Saturday morning, in an attack blamed on Taleban insurgents. (Source: BBC News)

I have lost count of the number of suicide bomb attacks in Kabul let alone the number of casualties. Yesterday, another suicide attack took place in Karte Parwan near Cinema Baharistan killing 27 police (numbers continue to rise). Reuters reported 10 killed, a flimsy portrayal of the tragic imposition of the bombing. Other sources immediately reported 27 dead. If the same situation occured in a western country, the 'estimation' would have been doubled increasing social alarm. However, Afghanistan continues to be forlon and Afghan blood contines to spill unnoticed by the world.
I will say no more, let the photoes speak. It saddens me to think about who have been killed. Men who have joined the army only to provide for their families, recipients of US$70 month wages. Fathers, uncles, brothers. all sole income earners for their families.
I have mentioned this before and i will entrench it again, men here play multiple roles in a family. Unfortunately, sadly but truly, women find it formidable to persevere in life without a male figure in the home. My heart goes out for these women. But i also admire the strength, courage and determination of those women who continue to struggle and strive for the future. Women who perpetuate the family name in a dignified and honourable manner. The mothers and wives of Afghanistan.
Unfortunately for some, most women who have lost their husbands tend to wander off and remarry leaving behind her children in the care of their paternal relatives and never hear from them again. One can only imagine the preceding occurences which a mother is forced to endure which results her in abandoning her children.
Later that day, i took my aunts shopping. Kabul streets continued business as usual- shop owners sold, beggers continued to beg and shoppers continued to shop. They have become so desensitised to attacks, it no longer frightens them but the anger is ensued.
We returned home in time for Iftaar. Again, visitors continued flowing in. Its afghan tradition to continue catering for people following the death of a family member for forty days. It's appalling. We don't get family time alone. But it's Ramadan and it's a blessing to have visitors, so for that i'm grateful.
Mum gives food away to those in need, like our maid. A young Hazara girl. Their family is ever so grateful for it. She told us of her story- her neighbour had little food to break her fast with so they came knocking on her door. They had nothing to give away except sharing the food which my mum had given to them. I can't stand wasting food. Even in Australia, I felt very guilty throwing food away.
Ba omideh roozegaareh behtar, ba omideh azaadi millate Afghanistan.
If the sky is not in love, then it will not be so clear.
If the sun is not in love, then it will not be giving any light.
If the river is not in love, then it will be in silence, it will not be moving.
If the mountains, the earth are not in love, then there will be nothing growing
- Mawlana Jalaludin Rumi Balkhi

Dear Summer, imma miss you...

2007-09-25T07:45:00.000+04:30
It's official (according to me) winter is here! My jacket has come out and i think soon enough it will be my scarf, gloves and boots. I resent cold weather! But i'm looking forward to snow season.

I forgot to mention yesterday, i dreamt of this wall size fish tank. It was the most beautiful piece of work i had ever seen. The glass had a slight convex shape with clear water and excellent lighting. There were goldfishes swimming. Later i had my dream deciphered and it defined success, honour and dignity! thank god.

My grandfathers fatiha resulted in a massive turn out. Over 2000 men attended at the mosque to offer their condolences. Ladies fatiha was held at home and the men's fatiha was held at the mosque. There were politicians, close friends, distant friends- everyone had attended. Among them Mojaddidi (former interim president of Afghanistan, Younos Qanooni (Parliament Chairman), Dr Abdullah Abdullah (former Foreign minister, currently working in 'Massood Foundation') and of course Sayaaf.

Obviously fatiha's recieve publicity and is broadcasted on the radio. When my Grandfathers death was mentioned on the radio, it was explained that he was Sayaaf's cousin. After the event ended, Sayaaf left the mosque when two rockets targeting the first car (Sayaafs car) of the convoy exploded causing minor injuries and shattering the car windows. Thankfully, no killings or major injuries.

I got home from work and recieved this news instantly. Overall, we recieved positive feedback from people who had attended saying it was well organised. I felt a little bad, i should have stayed home with my family that day.

We spent quality time that evening with my family. Reflecting on old memories with my grandfather. Talking about the good times. Honestly, i dont recall any negative moments with my grandfather. May he be blessed.

My fingers have frost bite and it's very cold. I need to get some work done.

Ba Omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar...

Kabul in pictures II

2007-09-24T15:03:00.000+04:30
Mud houses
Can you see Hamid Karzai? The yellow sarachas (station wagons) are taxis.

The famous pakool. Guess who? Qahramaane millee Afghanistan (the National hero of Afghanistan) Ahmad Shah Masood.

Near Deh Afghanan or Foroushgah. Its dirty and smelly, but i enjoy it! It's part of Kabul.

Blog gains a little publicity

2007-09-24T14:32:00.000+04:30
It looks like my blog is reaching the public out there. Far more than i think. I was surprised to find my entry quoted in Joshua Foust's site (http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/author/joshua-foust/). Foust was named Time magazines Person of the Year in 2006.

I guess it's partly due to the reason that it has been listed in http://afghanistan-analyst.org/blogs.aspx

Kabul has been cold the past two days. With winter just around the corner, the warm weather is breaking into cold and chilly winds. This morning i grabbed my jacket before coming to the office- i'm glad i did that.

Kabul has suffered another blow. Following the usual trend, the suicide vehicle rammed his car into a convoy of French troops. The explosion killed innocent civilians who were passengers in a nearby car.

Yesterday, (in Kabul, near Gumruck) the international military forces (IMF) shot and wounded two local drivers who ignored warning orders to stop as the civilians vehicles moved closer to the convoy. Although it doesnt justify the actions of the IMF, it is only relevant to mention that drivers in afghanistan have little acknowledgment for traffic laws including IMF and ISAF orders. I have seen Corollas following convoys almost always too closely, despite having an IMF soldier pointing a gun with one hand and motioning with the other hand to stop or keep distance. In turn, the forces fear a suicide attack and shoot before being shot at.

No doubt, it creates delays and frustration having to follow a convoy at a distance. But the IMF are here and they are going to shoot, it's only wise to follow orders. IMF or ISAF shooting at civilian cars 'mistaking' them for suicide bombs is not a new trend and has been occuring for quite some time. It just doesn't make it to the media as much as the deaths of IMF does.

Anyways, i better go and pray Zuhur. I'm fasting and really hungry.

On a completely different note, i feel like i have been lied to. I hope i'm wrong. Time will tell all.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

Gone to the Unseen

2007-09-24T08:44:00.000+04:30

I dedicate this poem to my grandfather. May he RIP.
Gone to the Unseen
At last you have departed and gone to the Unseen. What marvelous route did you take from this world?
Beating your wings and feathers, you broke free from this cage.
Rising up to the sky you attained the world of the soul.
You were a prized falcon trapped by an Old Woman. Then you heard the drummer's calland flew beyond space and time.

As a lovesick nightingale, you flew among the owls. Then came the scent of the rosegarden and you flew off to meet the Rose.
The wine of this fleeting worldcaused your head to ache.
Finally you joined the tavern of Eternity. Like an arrow, you sped from the bow and went straight for the bull's eye of bliss.
This phantom world gave you false signs But you turned from the illusion and journeyed to the land of truth.

You are now the Sun -what need have you for a crown?You have vanished from this world -what need have you to tie your robe?
I've heard that you can barely see your soul.But why look at all? -yours is now the Soul of Souls!

Pouring down like the rain of heaven
you fell upon the rooftop of this world. Then you ran in every direction and escaped through the drain spout . . .

Now the words are over and the pain they bring is gone.
Now you have gone to rest in the arms of the Beloved.

Grandfathers Demise Friday 14th September 2007- 2nd Ramadan

2007-09-23T07:42:00.000+04:30

Sayaafs gov't cars- final preparations
Just before leaving for the funeral prayers

When an old man dies, a library burns down. - Chinese proverb

One of my most dearest family member passed away on Friday on the 2nd day of the holy month of Ramadan. My paternal grandfather with whom I lived my entire life to the true definition of the word had passed away gracefully.

These lines from a poem i once read came to my mind-

The beauteous yesterday fades away like blushed twilight,
I grieve not, but find splendour in the memories.

God granted his wish. he passed on during Ramadan on a Friday, five minutes prior to iftaar. he was in coma for a few days before taking his final breath. the doctors had given up on him saying that there is no possibility for him to awake from coma.

He proved them wrong!

The final breath.

Five minutes before iftaar, he opened his eyes and said nothing more but Allah Allah Allah... just before taking his final breath, he smiled. Perhaps he saw visions of angels or paradise.
He didn't move, he didn't die a painful death. God truly loved him.

Before dying, he had only two words of advice- Islam wa Itifaaq (unity). he also wanted to be buried in Afghanistan, near his orchard. A wish which was granted.

Kabul International Airport- 3 hour wait.

On Thursday my aunts and uncles arrived from Australia with grandads coffin. Ustaad Sayaaf had organised for a funeral car, his government cars and police cars to assist in the smooth transition of the situation. My relatives were to spend the night in Dubai but Ustaad Sayaaf had instructed Ariana Airlines to take up whatever means possible to ensure that my relatives didnt miss the flight. this resulted in delaying the flight for three hours. most passengers were annoyed at my relatives.

I was waiting for hours at the airport. i managed to enter into the terminal (something no one was allowed to do unless you have a flight).

Finally, they arrived! we hugged in turn as we cried softly. the cars were brought to the terminal (Again, no afghans were allowed but i guess it was all Ustaad Sayaafs magic).

i was dreading home, afghan women have the tendency to wail and scream. Some even pull their hair out. Something i am not accustomed with.

we got home, the house was filled with men and women. no room to walk. i went upstairs to see how my grandmother was doing, but thankfully my grandmother had taken the news easier than i expected.

Ustaad Sayaaf was downstairs, he loved my grandfather very much and holds deep respect for him. His presence meant a great deal. His life was at risk, yet he still attended. My grandfather had wanted Sayaaf to lead the funeral prayers, which Sayaaf gladly accepted. Someone came in and told us that Sayaaf wanted to see my grandfathers children alone, in private. i went along!

Ustaad Sayaaf- awkward encounter.

it was my first time seeing Sayaaf. he was tall, of large build and well dressed. i would say beneath all the facial hair and despite the old age, he was handsome and what afghans call noorani. my aunts greeted him, kissing his hand as a sign of respect. In most cases the elders would either pull back and won't allow kissing of the hand (a gesture of humbleness) or they would kiss the face/head of the younger person. Sayaaf didn't. when it was my turn, i maintained my dignity by greeting him from a distance (i wonder what crossed his mind since i didn't kiss his hand AND i was the youngest in the room). i didn't mean any disrespect, i just didn't see any reason as to why i should. There was much to learn about this man. i respected him, but the only male person whose hand i kissed was my grandfather and my father. We sat in silence. Ustaad Sayaaf cried, i saw him wipe away his tears as he gave us advice which strengthened us. he said very little. we continued to sit in thunderous silence.

Eventually he stood up, asking to be excused. he left the room with his companions. we reunited with the ladies.

The day went on and the house was filling by the minute. It was iftaar time, the cook had set everything.

Cultural difference.

I was a little annoyed. My aunts and uncles had arrived from overseas, seeing my grandmother after 6 months AND there was a death in the family. i expected the visitors to be a little more considerate and allow for family time together so we could grieve alone. at least for the first day. but i guess not! They stayed for iftaar, some spent the night. This was Afghan culture, something i needed to learn and adapt to.

We wanted to see my grandfather but they said to wait til the next morning. They didn't want to leave him in the open for too long. so the coffin stayed closed. I couldn't believe it. the last time my grandfather was at our house, he was alive and breathing. now he's lifeless in a box, in a coffin.

Our final good byes...

The very next morning, 600am the house was awake. my eyes shot open. my sister was asleep beside me, sharing my double bed. she woke up as well. people were downstairs, they had uncovered the coffin. i jumped out of bed. 'are you going?' my sister asked. 'yeah for sure,' i replied as i quickly undressed from my pajamas and into something more appropriate. So did she, we didn't say a word.

Both of us managed to finish at the same time. i grabbed my white scarf as i rushed out the door pulling it over my head, covering my hair. i dont know why we were running. with unwashed faces we bolted down three flights of stairs. we reached the third flight- the final flight. that's when i stopped. i peeked and saw my grandfather lying peacefully in his coffin. my grandmother had her head resting to his right on the coffin, weeping silently. other women surrounded her but none felt her loss. Some were reading quraan. some were crying loudly.

i slowly walked down the stairs in a bit of a shock, my sister behind me. i went closer to my grandad, people moved as my sister and i made our way through. my eldest aunt was there, she held me tight as tears came down my cheeks uncontrollably. My grandad resented screaming and wailing near the dead. he always told us not to scream.

Despite being a week since his death and the impact of travelling, he looked so peaceful, his face was glowing. His white beard, his skin, his tall height dressed in white kafan. he looked holy and heavenly. he really was smiling.

i stood by his coffin as women sobbed. i held my grandmother. i thought of the good times we shared. My grandfather was the one person i held deep respect for. i never spoke back to him or displeased him. he was like a friend to me. i lifted my head to look at him, he looked like he was asleep, i expected him to awake any second. but he didn't. thats when it hit me. he's gone forever!

my aunts consoled other women, asking them not to raise their voice as it will cause him discomfort.

Ladies read the quraan loudly. They recited Surah Yasin.

My aunt finished reading, i sat by my grandads coffin opposite my grandma and opened the quraan. i started reciting softly next to him, unsure whether he could hear with all the sobbing. but i recited anyways. I felt very lucky to be able to read the Quran for him.

i finished reading Yasin and passed the Quran to my sister.

My maternal grandma sat next to me and recited Surah Yasin in a beautiful voice which made many cry. I was sitting beside her and joined her in the recitation. She then raised her hands and other women did too and made dua for him and asked God to grant him Jannah and to strengthen his family. Ameen.

We continued with Surah Alrahman together, sharing the Quraan.

Leaving for his resting place.

Soon it was time for him to go to his final resting place. We kindly asked the rest to leave for my family to spend some time alone. My uncles and my dad accompanied us. We said our final good byes. it was hard for my grandmother. but she was strong. They had a very loving relationship. my grandfather wooed her and was very romantic. My grandfather used to tell me stories of how he fell in love with her.

my aunts took my grandmother away. i was left with my uncles and my dads cousins daughter. My dads cousins came and prepared my grandfathers coffin to be taken to the funeral car. My dad and my eldest uncle looked on, crying. i hugged my dad and cried, this time much more than before. My dad whispered in my ear, 'sabr... sabr jameel' (we speak in Arabic) i kissed him on the cheek and my uncle held me close to him as i continued crying.

I didn't want to say good bye to my grandfather, it was all too soon.

I walked away from the coffin without seeing my grandfather, i didnt want to weaken. i needed to be strong. i didnt need to say good bye, he was still with us. i could feel him around.

my dads cousin pulled me close to her as we made our way to join the rest.

Funeral prayers

the house was full of ladies.

i went to my bedroom, locked my door and looked out my balcony. i had never seen that many people in my entire life. It was only half of the men who will be at the funeral prayers. Sayaafs cars and police cars were lined up in an orderly fashion. i watched on. The cars moved further. The funeral car was making it's way towards the convoy of cars. the police car was first followed by the funeral car and then Sayaafs 4Wds followed by more police cars and then the guests.

The roads were blocked. it was very well organised. i know my grandfather liked it very much. Later i learned that 1500-2000 men had attended the funeral prayers which was led by Ustaad Sayaaf.

Death- a lesson for all.

I have learned many things since his death. I saw with my own eyes that it is only your good deeds and your faith that accompanies you to your grave. It is only Islam which will defend you from the punishments and torments of the after life. as my grandfather said, Islam and unity! In todays world, it's a real challenge. But it's the challenge that makes it rewarding!

Life is a test, and death is the final exam.

My grandfather was a good man. Never spoke ill of anybody, attended to people during their time of need and practised Islam to his maximum capability. As most people said, he was a father to everyone.

May Allah grant him Jannatal Firdaws. ameen.

Ba omideh deedaar, Khuda negahdaar.

Ramadan is nearly here!

2007-09-06T09:33:00.000+04:30
Ahlan wa sahlan ya ramadan,
Sharafta ya shahral quraan!

I was just talking to a friend and i noticed that Ramadan is just around the corner. I'm looking forward to it (as always). Its full of tranquility and good faith (i become an angel! but i'm no devil either...). it's my first time ever experiencing Ramadan in an islamic environment (unless i did when i was in Saudi as a child).

But it's the best time ever! I can't wait!

Invited- 40, Attended- 70

2007-09-06T08:46:00.000+04:30
my half prepared dining table.... i'm so proud!
Yeah, imagine trying to find your shoes in this mess!

Last night we had invited my aunts husband and his family (men only). i got home from work and straight to domestic duties. We had hired cooks, so only the catering was left for us.

I prepared the dining table for enough people- fourty! slowly i recieved news that the numbers had increased to 48 and then to 52 and soon enough to 70!

we had to resort to the afghan ways, and lay out a table cloth on the floor to accomodate for all.

all went well... when i saw the sight of the shoes which was taken off prior to entry, i couldn't help but laugh (i even took a photo).

The guests left, the night ended with playing pool.

Then i hit the sack... had work today!

Another day in 'Kabuljan'

2007-09-03T12:25:00.000+04:30
BOOM! thats the sound that awoke me on Friday morning. i was too tired. i drifted back into sleep.

later on during the day, my sister asked me if she had heard the explosion. It was a suicide attack against the German NATO troops situated in the military west wing of Kabul International Airport. As usual, it was the civilians that suffered in masses.

Few hours later, dad and my brother were back YAYYYYY. A pleasant surprise. My entire weekend was spent serving guests. they came to welcome dad... thank god we have maids who did everything.

Finally we got a snooker table... and a gym set at home!

Grandads not doing too well, he's health is deteriorating. The only thing we can do is pray and hope for a miracle. The cancer is winning, he's vommiting blood- which means that his liver, lungs and kidneys are all deteriorating. Dad wants him in Afghanistan alive, we might fly him over first class so he doesnt endure too much discomfort.

Finally uni's going my way! I'm graduating next month, have exams coming up! and i'm under prepared. but i think i'll be okay. The university has sent my exams to an international university here so they can proctor me. then i can start my Masters straight after.

I'm still working, and it's getting really boring now. i need something challenging! I'm considering working in Kuwait (good job offer at the moment) but parents have enough on their plate. i dont want to create more worries for them so i'll just wait til things get better.

Maybe i just need a break. my contract ends in a month, i doubt i'll renew it straight away. i'll go to dubai for a while if possible!

There's so much i want to write, but this thing gets too much exposure. And i don't want to make myself open to danger and it makes it harder keeping my friends and family informed.

Oh well...

Ba Omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Finally- A potential solution to 200 000Afs weddings

2007-08-29T12:13:00.000+04:30
Finally! A way out to these expensive weddings. In the west, an average afghan wedding costs no less than $20 000 (compliments to the brides side of the family who encourages the groom to spend more thinking it will increase the value of the to-be wife... WRONG!).

The trend is ongoing in Afghanistan, many spend thousands of US dollars on weddings. in a country where people can afford so little, barely a meal on the table, this is a burden.

Yes i am opposed to expensive weddings for many reasons, some are as follows:
1) it's nothing but showing off... competition (As the article below explains)
2) not everyone can afford expensive weddings and therefore earn themselves a deadly debt
3) once they have a debt, the newly wedded couple will have to earn enough money for the next few years to pay it off
4) most importantly, ITS UNISLAMIC- yet, it's the muslims that have the most expensive weddings. shame!
5) quantity doesnt necessarily mean quality weddings.
6) the list goes on...

But here's the article i came accross today!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar...

Mullahs spoil the party
By Sayed Yaqub
Ibrahimi
August 28 - Religious council bans lavish wedding parties
in Balkh province to prevent locals bankrupting themselves. (IWPR) One of the
first cultural icons to reappear in Afghanistan after the fall of the Taleban
were Wedding Halls - usually gaudy glass palaces that serve as the venue for
what is, arguably, the most important event in an Afghan's life. Weddings, and
the attendant parties, form the backbone of the Afghan social scene. But the
cost of the dinner, music, clothing and other accoutrements of the celebration
have driven many a young man to desperation.

Now, the Ulema, or
religious council, in the northern province of Balkh have come up with a
solution: They have banned most the expensive festivities altogether, provoking
hope and outrage in almost equal measure. In mid-July, the Ulema Shura of Balkh
issued a fatwa: except for one engagement party, they ruled, all celebrations
should be held in the home, to cut down on expenses. "It's like the Taleban,"
grumbled Jamshid, 24, a resident of Mazar-e-Sharif. "We have only one wedding in
our life. It's our dream, and people should be able to spend whatever they want.
It's not up to the government to ban it." But the Balkh government has supported
the Ulema's decision, and is taking steps to enforce it. Copies of the fatwa
have been sent to all hotels, and nailed in a prominent place on their walls.
"This decision is for the good of society, and we support it," said Atta
Mohammad Noor, governor of Balkh. "People are giving parties like competitions,
just trying to show that they can do it. But it disrupts the entire social
system. People have lost their way, and we are trying to bring back a little
order."

This is not a Taleban-style attempt to prevent parties, he
insisted. "People can make a wedding for a few hundred dollars in their homes,"
he said. “The current situation is a disaster. We're just trying to prevent
that." According to the Balkh authorities, two commissions have been formed to
police the ban - one will promote public awareness of the measure, and the
reasons for it; the other will monitor wedding halls to make sure the new rules
are being observed. "If anyone violates the ban, we will not say anything to
them, but we will severely punish the hotel owners," said the governor.

In Afghanistan, weddings are big business. In addition to paying the
girl's father a sum of money as a bride price, most Afghan grooms have to come
up with 5,000-10,000 US dollars for a series of parties, inviting hundreds of
friends and relatives to eat, dance, and celebrate the young couple's good
fortune. In a country where the average wage does not top 100 dollars per month,
the cost of getting married has kept many a young man single well into his 30s.
"I have an income of 200 afghani (about four dollars) a day," complained
Mohammad Latif, a bicycle repairman in Mazar-e-Sharif. Now 35 years old, he has
been engaged for six years, trying to save enough money for the necessary
celebrations. "How am I supposed to find 10,000 dollars for a party? The Ulema
did a good job. When I heard about it, I thought, 'Now I can finally bring my
wife home.’"

According to Mullah Mohammad Sadiq Sadiqatyar, pretentious
parties are against the Muslim religion. "Islam says that overspending is bad,"
he told IWPR. "If you want to get married, it is enough to have one engagement
party. Anything else is banned. These parties have caused disruption within the
society. We see many men who are wifeless, and many girls without husbands. This
is because a wedding party in a hotel will cost at least 5,000 dollars."

Weddings have become a competition, he added. People who cannot
afford the party have to borrow money, saddling themselves with debt they may be
paying off for decades. "It is our responsibility to make people aware
of Islamic rules," said Sadiqatyar. "It is also prohibited for male singers to
perform at women's parties. They should not be present to watch women dancing."

In Afghanistan, the sexes are strictly divided during wedding
celebrations. Men and women cannot dance together in public. This is good news
for the few female musicians in Balkh. "It is time to given women some
opportunities," said Arizo, a female guitarist. "If girls are allowed to sing at
women's parties, it will be a motivating factor for women's music. Many girls
may become musicians. But if men continue to dominate the music scene, there
will be little chance for us to do anything."

Male musicians and hotel
owners were uniformly glum about the fatwa. "We had to go to Pakistan during
Taleban times because music was banned," said the head of one male band, who did
not want to be named. "Now we might have to leave the country again. Since the
fatwa, no one invites us to their parties any more. And even if we do get some
work, they only pay us for the men's party, we cannot play for the women. I have
to make a living, for heaven's sake." Bismillah, the owner of one wedding hall,
was similarly upset. "This is our peak season," he complained. "Everyone wants
to get married before Ramazan. But since this fatwa our business is down by 50
per cent, and I think it will just get worse. What kind of country is this?"

According to Bismillah, the government should ignore the Ulema's
decision. "Otherwise the mullahs will just issue decisions on whatever they
want," he said. Lawyer and politician Kabir Ranjbar welcomed the fatwa, with
reservations. "From my perspective, this is a good decision, and it is for the
good of the people.
Unofortunately, it is illegal," he said The fatwa
violates Afghanistan's constitution, and disrupts the normal legislative
mechanism, he added. "When the government wants to make a law, it has to propose
it to the Wolesi Jirga (Lower House of Parliament)," he said. "Only after the
legislature has approved it can the government implement the law." The Ulema's
decision was arbitrary, he added, and did not correspond to Afghanistan's rule
of law.

"The constitution guarantees freedom to Afghanistan's citizens,"
he said. “No one has the right to deprive people of these freedoms." But the
Ulema is not overly concerned with the constitution. According to Sadiqatyar,
they are answering to a Higher Power. "The rules of God are above everything,"
he said. "We respect the law. But the fatwa we issued is according to the
dictates of God and the sayings of the Prophet. And this is higher than even the
constitution."

Helmand: A Kinder, Gentler Taleban?

2007-08-22T14:13:00.000+04:30
Institute for War & Peace Reporting, UK 08/21/2007
By Aziz Ahmad Tassal

As combat operations rage across Helmand province, Musa Qala district is quiet - and firmly under Taleban control.
Musa Qala, in the north of Helmand province, is unusually peaceful these days. Children are getting ready to go to newly-opened schools, and farmers in this opium-rich region are busy preparing their fields for autumn planting.
In contrast to the rest of Helmand, security is good in Musa Qala. There is little crime, and the bitter battles that have scarred surrounding areas seem far away.
Nor do residents live in fear that the Taleban are coming – they are already here.
“The Taleban control everything in Musa Qala,” said Mohammad Aref, 26, a shopkeeper in Musa Qala bazaar. “They have reinstated some traditions from their old regime of five years ago. They collect food rations from every house, and they drive around in their trucks.
“But the Taleban don’t treat people badly, the way they did before. They are very calm and they respect people. Everyone is happy with them."
The Taleban took over Musa Qala in early February, after a tenuous truce brokered by tribal elders collapsed. So far, there is little sign that either the Afghan government or the International Security Assistance Force, ISAF, is ready to intervene and change the status quo.
"We have no plans to recapture Musa Qala," said Ghulam Mahayuddin Ghuri, commander-in-chief of the Third Corps of the Afghan National Army.
Face to face with the Taleban, residents like Mohammad Aref are making the best of things.
"People are very happy that the Taleban have brought security," he said. "And they are not forcing families to give them a male fighter, like they used to."
During the Taleban regime, from their capture of Kabul in 1996 until the United States-led Coalition drove them into retreat in late 2001, they would conscript soldiers from the local population. They levied one male member from each household, or from everyone who owned a shop or plot of land. Anyone who could not afford to pay someone else to go in his place was forced to join the Taleban.
In addition, the Taleban instituted a brutal regime to impose their strict interpretation of Islam on the general population. Music, films, television, photography, even kite-flying were banned. Men could be beaten for wearing their beards too short, women could not work or study, and in some places they could not even leave the house unless accompanied by a male family member.
Even in this conservative southern province, people chafed under such restrictions, and most welcomed the freedom that came with the new government and the international presence in Afghanistan from the end of 2001.
But in the past few years, disillusionment has set in. The promised reconstruction has been slow to arrive, and the Kabul government is seen as weak and ineffectual, unable to provide security or development. Local government and the police are plagued with corruption, crime is booming, and the drugs industry is taking over the economy.
The foreign military presence is also becoming increasingly unpopular. As ISAF mounts operation after operation to clear away the insurgents, the civilian casualties climb.
Musa Qala was the scene of intense fighting between ISAF and the Taleban throughout the late summer and early autumn of 2006. In October, the British-led forces withdrew from the district after reaching an agreement with tribal elders designed to keep the Taleban out of the district centre.
But that agreement broke down in early February 2007, after an ISAF air strike, which the Taleban claimed fell within an agreed exclusion zone, killed the brother of a powerful commander.
The Taleban swept in and established their own regime, complete with district governor, police chief and Sharia courts.
But according to residents, they have learned a bit about winning hearts and minds since the fall of their government in Kabul.
"If people want to watch television in their homes or listen to music, they can do as they wish. We won’t say anything to them," said a Taleban commander, who did not want to be named.
“Everyone gives zakat [Muslim tithe] to their own mullah. It is voluntary. If they don’t give it, no one will force them."
The commander said the rules imposed by the Taleban were "Afghan Islamic law", and he said people were very happy with it.
"No one tells people what to do," said one local resident, who did not want to be named. "They can shave their beard or let it grow. And no one bothers you if you are cultivating poppy. Opium is bought and sold on a very high level."
Helmand alone will supply close to half of the world's heroin this year. Its poppy crop increases annually despite all the rhetoric from the Kabul government and the international community linking the war on drugs with the war on terror.
The Taleban eradicated opium production almost entirely, in a one-year campaign conducted in 2000-2001. But this time around, they are being more lenient, perhaps because they too are benefiting from the profits of the trade.
Musa Qala is now known locally as "Smugglers' District", and some observers say that many of the factories that process opium paste into heroin have relocated here, since it is a no-go zone for the government and its counter-narcotics forces.
But it would be a mistake to assume that the Taleban have gone all soft, say residents.
"The Taleban are not forcing people, the way they did before," said Sher Mohammad, 20, a resident of Musa Qala. "But still, people are changing themselves, they are going back to the way they were during the first Taleban regime. For example, instead of playing music in the shops they now play Taleban songs. Women still go out, but not too much."
The Taleban have also expanded their radio station, the Voice of Sharia, to Musa Qala, backed by a wealthy patron from the district. It broadcasts a daily ration of exhortation to join the jihad, news and analysis, and music such as national, jihadi and fighting songs, always sung without musical accompaniment. Staffed by volunteers, its major message is of resistance to the government and to the foreign presence in Afghanistan.
A local Taleban, Mullah Ezatullah, praised the new regime, noting that there is a new district governor, Mullah Matin, while Mullah Mohammad Hassan doubles up as deputy governor and town mayor. The chief of police, Mullah Torjan, has managed to get the security situation under control, he added.
"If someone commits a crime, he is punished," said Ezatullah. "If a person steals, his hand is cut off. All things are done according to our law.
"Our government is not like [President Hamed] Karzai's," he told IWPR. "In Kabul, when someone is a high-ranking official, people have to fear his friends and relatives. But in the Taleban government, all people are equal. And all the people support the Taleban."
That may be a bit of an overstatement. Despite the welcome calm in the district, there is tension in the air.
"People are not happy," said one resident, who would not give his name. "Many are afraid to come to the bazaar from neighbouring villages. They are afraid that the foreigners will come and bomb the district. They are afraid of an attack from the air, as well as from ground troops."
After the Taleban took over in Musa Qala, hundreds of families fled in fear of both the Taleban and the expected retribution from the foreign forces. Many are still living elsewhere, camping out in ruined buildings, as they are afraid to return to their homes.
The Taleban do enjoy broad support among the population, said this resident, but there was an element of fear in the people's acquiescence.
"The Taleban are very serious in this district, and when they say something, they do it. People give them food, and other kinds of help, not because they are forced to but because they don’t want to upset the Taleban," he said. "People don’t play music at weddings unless they get permission from the Taleban."
Abdul Bari, another Musa Qala resident, is also disgruntled with the new government.
"Who knows how much they have changed?" he grumbled. "We can’t watch television, we can’t watch the news, and there are other restrictions that upset us."
The Taleban are also taxing local businesses, added Abdul Bari, although he would not disclose the percentage or amount.
The Taleban have allowed some privately-run schools to open.
In Musa Qala, as in much of the rest of Helmand, most schools have been closed due to security concerns. Many schools have been burned, and teachers and schoolchildren have been killed. The mayhem is most often attributed to the Taleban, although they have denied the charges.
"I am now back in school, and very happy," said Faiz Mohammad, a local teacher. "But the schools have been flattened, ruined by the bombs. So I have made my own house into a school. People are very happy, but unfortunately we don’t have desks, chairs, or anything else."
"I love going to school," said sixth-grader Ahmadullah. "I am very happy that I am going to be studying again."
"The Taleban have encouraged us to send our children to school," said Zia ul-Haq, a resident of Musa Qala’s bazaar district. "We are very happy now, because literacy is light and without it a person is blind."
At present, however, most girls are still denied an education. While the Taleban do not publicly oppose girls going to school, they will not allow co-education. Until the situation improves and separate new schools are built, girls will most likely stay at home.
“We are not opposed to education," said a Taleban commander. "We support schools that are in accordance with Afghan culture and Sharia law. Boys and girls should not study together."
He insisted that the Taleban did not close schools to hamper education, and certainly did not burn them. "When schools are closed, it is because they have been bombed or there’s been fighting in the area. And those who burn schools are criminals and anti-Islamic,” he said.
He said the Taleban keep a tight rein on the curriculum. As an example of the kind of schooling they favour, he said, “We like schools that teach ‘A is for Allah’ instead of ‘A is for Anor’ [pomegranate]. Not ‘J is for Jawari’ [maize], but ‘J is for Jihad’."

i dont know what to write here.

2007-08-19T12:08:00.001+04:30
What's the point of life, if the conclusion is death?
What's the point of fate, if the conclusion is death?
What's the point of prayers, if the conclusion is death?
What's the point of hope, if the conclusion is death?

My uncles wedding took place last night, it was a good wedding. the Henna night was even better, it was a lot of fun. Mums side came from all over the world for this occasion- Europe, the States, Australia. it was good fun meeting everyone. i can put faces to the names i heard.

The henna night was held at our house, on the rooftop (what afghans call, the bomm) under a marquee. Food was catered by on of the nicest restaurants in Share Naw (typically very oily). The night was filled with kids running around, ladies laughing, music pumping loud and lots of food. Eventually, the night ended when the power went out (5am) some had left home early, the remaining slept over at our house.

The next morning, it was a skit house. Kids everywhere, women talking real loud in Pashto, the dining room was full. I went to the kitchen and made my own breakfast, eating in my room- in peace. i wasn't up for all this, for some funny reason my jaw was aching the entire weekend. i just wanted to sleep.

Typical of me, i forget about pain once i start partying.

Anyways, the guests left at 10.30am for their houses to prepare for the wedding that night. Mum and a few others left for the Hamaam (yukky). Mum returned, my sisters and i left for the hairdressers. that took forever! we left home at 2pm and returned at 730pm to find that we have no electricity. So, we get dressed in the dark! thankfully our hair and make up was already done!

I didnt like my dress :( so i changed into one of the dresses i bought from back home.
We ended up leaving that night at 8.03pm. At first, all eyes were on my sisters and myself. I felt awkward! Very uncomfortable! moments later my uncle and his newly wed made an entrance.

That's when the party began! Everyone had a great time! it was excellent!

I got home at 2am. Dead tired! And i had work the next day!

Sad news hit me today. My grandfathers cancer has spread to his lungs and liver, he doesn't have much to live at all! I was talking to my cousin on Messenger when she told me the news and broke down in tears (yes in front of my colleagues, but i didn't care). i feel sorry for him, imagine knowing that death is so close. I feel even more sorry for my dad losing his dad.

I can't believe he's going to die, i really dont want to talk about this. so i'm going to leave it here.
Tomorrow the doctors are going to find out how long he has to live. But it's all upto God, he knows better, he's the giver and taker.

Praying for a miracle... ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Fifteen years in jail for love

2007-08-19T12:08:00.000+04:30

By Graeme Smith August 18 - Mr. Rahman, in a soft voice, the unravelling of a tale that starts a decade ago with a child fleeing the slums to find his fortune, and the love that lured him into prison. (Globe and Mail)
"Have you ever heard The saddest story in this prison?"
In the crumbling cell blocks of Sarpoza prison, on the western edge of Kandahar city, the question seems impossible to contemplate. This is a place full of terrible stories, some true and others bred in the imagination of men who survive on little but gruel. But the deputy warden, Nadi Gul Khan, has something specific in mind. He looks over at his friend, Mohammed Nader, who nods in agreement. Mr. Nader, thuggish and meaty, serves as an informal boss in Sarpoza's national-security wing. A prisoner from a wealthy family, he has connections that give him influence in the worst corner of the prison, reserved for accused murderers, kidnappers and Taliban insurgents. Many of the convicts here languish in dark cells where chunks of masonry fall from the ceiling as they sleep.
Mr. Nader has a better room, with a bed, a television, and windows that look out on a garden. His cell is swept clean, his dishes washed, and his tea carefully poured by a little man named Abib Rahman. "Yes, it's true," Mr. Nader declares, solemnly. "My tea boy has the saddest story." Tea boys often suffer in places like this, where the role can require working as a sexual servant for other inmates. Maybe that is why the deputy warden feels it necessary to add: "It involves a girl," he says. "It's a love story."
The prison boss summons Mr. Rahman, and he scurries into the room like a hobbit. Everybody else lounges on cushions, but the young man with downcast eyes takes a spot on the floor.
"Tell your story," the deputy warden says. Mr. Rahman obeys, and begins, in a soft voice, the unravelling of a tale that starts a decade ago with a child fleeing the slums to find his fortune, and the love that lured him into prison. He introduces himself as the 22-year-old son of Mir Alam, of the Amirhil tribe, which makes him an ethnic Pashtun like most others here in southern Afghanistan but without any connections to the powerful tribes that hold sway in this region.
He lived in the slums of Kabul until he was 12 years old, he says, when his family sent him to Kandahar in search of work. The Taliban ruled the city in those days, and jobs were scarce. A rich landowner from Panjwai took pity on the child. The farmer promised to pay Mr. Rahman the equivalent of $50 a month, he says, in exchange for menial work in his fields of wheat and grapes southwest of the city.
The boy moved into the farmer's house and spent his days watering the crops, driving a tractor, and tinkering with the irrigation pumps. A year passed. Mr. Rahman started to feel accepted by the family; the daughters didn't cover their faces in his presence. He felt grateful for the work and the shelter, he says, but he grew worried about the fact that he hadn't yet been paid.
"He was like my father," Mr. Rahman says. "It was hard to talk to him about the money." When Mr. Rahman did broach the subject, the farmer was apologetic, saying he had little extra money. But he did have another kind of wealth: His daughters, which are worth about $5,000 each in southern Afghanistan, where brides are regularly purchased with cash, land, or cattle. The farmer said he noticed that Mr. Rahman had grown friendly with one of his daughters. He calculated that it would take the boy eight years to earn the bride-price by working the land, after which he would give permission for them to marry. "She was a year younger than me," he says, remembering her with a shy smile. "We were children together, we knew each other. We were very happy." Afghans usually keep their families hidden from strangers.
Mr. Rahman declines to say his sweetheart's name, or describe her. He says only this: "She is beautiful." More years passed. The girl started wearing a burka, the concealing blue shroud, after she reached puberty. Sweating in the fields added ropy muscles to the young man's frame. He grew a light-brown beard. The teenagers were no longer allowed to meet in private, because of local traditions, but one night the girl visited the young man in secret. She begged him to take her away from her father's house, he says. She claimed that her mother had given her blessings, and she wanted to escape with him to Kabul. She never gave him details about why she wanted to get away from her father. Horrified, the young man refused. He could not betray the man who had protected him like a parent, he says, and Pashtun tradition forbids marriage against a father's wishes.
Still, he says, the daughter persisted. She would often find ways of getting him alone, sometimes only for a minute, to repeat her request. His willpower started to break when he was 20 years old, he says. Eight years had passed and the farmer showed no interest in a wedding. The daughter visited him again one evening, with a variation on her usual plea. This time she brought a bundle of money, 30,000 Pakistani Rupees, or about $520. She had stolen the cash from her father, she said, and she wanted him to buy a motorcycle.
He picked out a red Chinese motorbike a few days later, paid cash, and stashed away the leftover money for their journey. Still, he hesitated. He told the farmer he'd purchased the bike with gift money from his family in Kabul, and the old man seemed pleased, sending him on errands along the dirt tracks that wind like brown streams around the green Panjwai valley. Two months later, he finally worked up the nerve. The daughter packed a few dresses in a bag; he didn't own anything except the clothes he was wearing.
They drove away at night, up the bumpy paths in Panjwai, onto the paved roads that lead through Kandahar. The city teems with traffic by day, but the streets are empty by late evening and noise of their little bike's engine would have echoed down the rows of shuttered shops. They passed under the arched eastern gates of the city and took the northern fork in the road, puttering across the darkened scrublands. Two hours later they reached Qalat, where truckers often stop on their way to Kabul, and hit a police roadblock. I
It was September of 2005, and police were watching the highways carefully in hopes of preventing any disruption of the upcoming parliamentary elections. As usual in this country, the police also used the checkpoints to enrich themselves. Officers told Mr. Rahman it was forbidden to travel by motorcycle to Kabul because the road was too dangerous; instead, they would give him two seats in a shared taxi and hold his bike for safekeeping. The young man had little experience with such situations, and didn't argue with the officers' logic. The young couple squeezed into an overcrowded taxi, a yellow-and-white Japanese sedan, and reached the capital city the next morning. A cold welcome awaited them in Kabul.
Mr. Rahman had not seen his hometown since boyhood, and his parents had died while he was away. His three brothers were still living at home with their wives and children, a total of 16 people crowded into a modest five-room compound in the city's western slums.
The family was scandalized by his attempt to elope. He introduced the 19-year-old as his future wife, and his brother exploded in rage. "My brother said, ‘You don't have a wife! Who is this woman?' " Mr. Rahman says.
His brothers sent word to the Panjwai farmer that they had located his daughter. The landowner arrived quickly, all smiles, ate lunch with the family and spent a night in their home. In the morning he declared himself satisfied with the Rahman family and gave his consent for a wedding, on the condition that his daughter return home so they could prepare for the celebration.
The daughter wept at this news, Mr. Rahman says, because she didn't want to go back. "I knew he was dishonest, but there was nothing I could do," he says. "I tried to argue with him, but I'm not so strong." Mr. Rahman watched his bride loaded into a car, and saw it disappear into the ramshackle slums. He was penniless, with nothing to show for his labour.
His brothers tried to console him: As a healthy young man with no debts, they said, his prospects were good. The regime of President Hamid Karzai had brought prosperity to the capital; surely he could start again in the new Afghanistan. The young man says he knew that returning to Kandahar wasn't a good idea. By promising a wedding, the farmer had taken back his daughter with a face-saving untruth, and everybody involved knew it. Asking the farmer to make good on his promise would only invite trouble. But Mr. Rahman was in love.
He caught a southbound bus a week later, and showed his naivety by stopping in Qalat to inquire with the local police about his motorcycle. In the course of his explanations about the missing bike, Mr. Rahman mentioned the name of his former employer. One of the officers phoned the farmer, Mr. Rahman says, and moments later he found himself under arrest. He spent the following months shuffled from jail to jail, from Qalat to the secret police headquarters in Kandahar, and onwards to the crumbling prison on the west side of the city. He told his story countless times to police interrogators, he says. The formal charge laid against him was kidnapping, but a prosecutor who listened to his story seemed sympathetic and predicted he would be set free within a month. The poor and powerless often fare badly in Kandahar's justice system, however.
Mr. Rahman says the farmer used his tribal connections to influence the case, and he was sentenced to 15 years in jail. The young man goes silent. The prison cell is quiet for a moment, except for the clicking of the deputy warden's prayer beads. Birds sing in the garden. The prison boss stretches his heavy limbs and settles himself back on his bed with a chuckle at his tea boy's misfortune.
Mr. Rahman stares down at his dirty feet. He is asked whether he regrets coming back to chase after his love, and he looks up with a glance that suggests he couldn't have done anything else. "Everything turned out the way I expected," he says.

Kandahar, the most heard place of Afghanistan.

2007-08-14T10:41:00.000+04:30
Signs of life in Kandahar

Boy was i surprised when i saw the above picture, i had heard that Kandahar is much more advanced than Kabul but i didnt believe it. i continued to believe that Kandahar residential places were similar to that of Kabul villages. I guess not, huh?the photo proved me wrong. Kandahar has become a place which i want to visit. And they say that Kandahari Pashto dialect is the most romantic dialect of Pashto in the country (perhaps something like French).

I've been hit with the flu. i haven't been exposed to cold weather, just walking around shopping in Shar-e-Naw has lead me to getting the flu.

there was a 5 day jirga with Pakistani- Afghan delegates held in Kabul leading the city to traffic jams (as if we dont have enough already) and extra high levels of security, searching Corollas older than 2000. Thankfully, no suicide attacks took place during these events.

Right now, i'm at the office hearing a debate (one person on my left, the other on my right) about designer labels. Wow, never would i have imagined hearing a debate about such a thing in KABUL. One is saying that spending money on designer wear is extravagance and the other is saying that well presentation is much better. I prefer not to get involved. my flu is getting to me

*sniff*

My sisters bday was last night and oh i nearly forgot, mine was 5 days ago. my TWENTY FIRST... i haven't had the chance to celebrate but they held a surprise birthday party for me at the office. so nice! and i got bday presents- perfumes!!

nothing new has been happening, same old at work...

Will update with photoes soon, hope i get better soon *sniff*

Bah omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar *sniff*

Kabul in pictures

2007-07-31T12:19:00.000+04:30
School girls- the uniform is the same all over.
Just outside Kabul City Centre (shopping centre), Share Naw

British CF on foot as a child cries on..

this is the most coolest thing ever, on a hot day as your walking on the road and come across cucumbers... mmmm.. look closely, you'll see the knives and the salt. Self serve at it's best, kabul style! This is how one person supports his/her whole family.

Oh do i hate this place or what? it's full of men and extremely crowded. must have a lot of patience for a place like this. not to mention stalkers.

inside Kabul city centre, it's a hotel and shopping centre!!

yep, the cars outnumber the people. this is what they call driving.

Freshly baked bread, the smell makes a full stomach hungry! the beauty about it is that theres a bakery only walking distance from any house.

Afghan jewelry, the best in the world!

Fruit stalls at night, no street lights, so they use the lanterns.

a woman in a chadari...

Years since his death, Masood looks on and is widely loved.

Kabul Serena HOtel... shocked? me too!

Kabul Serena Hotel- an absolute beauty.

Wonderful World of DVDs

2007-07-30T08:07:00.000+04:30

''For afghans, there's no such thing as being late... 'late' doesnt exist'' NK

(that's so true! no one here walks fast, let alone run. so when i walk fast, ppl think i'm a nut! but Afghans don't walk fast, even if they're running 'late'.)

**Ahem** it's me again, that's if you remember me! Yeah, yeah i know i have been slack. Well not really, I've just been busy with work and life. I have recieved constant demands to continue my blog (Thanks for the support) so here i am writing.

Well i'm pretty sure you've heard the latest happenings in Afghanistan, Kandahar and the Dirty South isn't behaving. Anti-govt elements (AGEs) are constantly attacking. the scary thing is that the Taliban have gained access to SAM (Surface to air missile) and have targeted an international helicopter. What next?

There's an international post available, the pay is good but i'm after the position. i'm not too sure if i should apply, most people are encouraging me. But i can't believe some of the people that are actually JEALOUS if i get that post and are discouraging me. i dont know what to say to them.. it disgusts me.

OH MY GOD... i discovered the wonderful world of DVDs... :-) yep, that means good quality DVDs for like $2US per cd. i bought the entire series of Prison Break2 for $12. And i bought the entire 10 season of friends too. they have the latest movies and everything! i finally found something to spend my money on. there's literally nothing else to spend my cash on! maybe souvenirs.

I'm thinking of buying my mum a washing machine :-) i dont wanna get anything too luxurious because i keep thinking theres no point, we might get bombed and lose everything. but then again, it's part of life.

Since my last post, i've become more accepting (but not conforming to society). i've accepted everything and i tell myself it's only temporary, i'm pretty sure that one day i will reflect on this as a rewarding experience. Australia is always there, i hope! and one day i will return...
Yeah, believe it or not they have limousines here. this is the one we got for my sisters engagement :-)

This is not fair!

2007-06-18T08:15:00.000+04:30

Suicide bomber hits Kabul bus as attacks escalate
By Peter Graff and Sayed
Salahuddin, June 17 - A Taliban suicide bomber blew up a police bus in the
Afghan capital on Sunday killing around 35 people, police said, in apparently
the single deadliest bombing to hit Afghanistan since the Taliban were ousted in
2001. (Reuters)
The blast tore apart the bus, wrecked several other vehicles
and scattered body parts in the heart of the city.
"More than 35 are
killed," said Ali Shah Paktiawal, chief of the Kabul police's criminal branch.
"Police officers are among the dead." An Interior Ministry official could not
confirm the death toll, saying around 30 were dead or wounded.
The Interior
Ministry said five of the wounded were foreigners, including two Japanese, a
Korean and two Pakistanis. Earlier reports that foreigners had been killed
proved false.

Eighteen bodies, mostly police officers, and 10 wounded had been taken to
nearby Jamhuriat Hospital, a doctor there said.
There was chaos at the
hospital, where a crowd gathered to check if relatives and friends were among
the dead and injured.
Doctors set up a triage ward in the hospital's front
yard. The body of a police officer lay on the grass, shrouded in a sheet and
surrounded by blood-soaked garments. A male relative wailed into a mobile phone,
while friends tried to console him.
The bomb exploded during the morning
rush hour, at a time when buses are ferrying police officers to their beats.
The wreckage was smeared with blood and flesh. An hour after the blast investigators were still moving through the debris picking up human remains.
Police gave different death tolls, ranging from 21 to 35 dead with scores more wounded who were rushed to hospitals across the capital in wailing ambulances.

Two bombs in 2 Days in KABUL CITY

2007-06-17T09:00:00.000+04:30
I’m in the office right now. To my left there are two of my colleagues going on with the formalities. I have my headphones on, listening to my music. Right now, Pussycat Dolls are playing (not my favourite, but it’s good enough).

DAMN… I heard another explosion just this very second! The windows shattered and it went BOOM.

Okay, it was Wolayat- some place really close to the office. And yes, I’m freaked out! I feel like an idiot because everyone else is so calm and I’m sitting here scared to death.

I called dad to see if he’s okay, he didn’t even hear the explosion.

This is the second one in 2 days in Kabul city! This is not right at all! And another one went off in Mazari Sharif yesterday.

Okay we just got a security report, this morning it was a bomb planted on a bus. So far five INNOCENT civilians have been seen carried away. It’s still way too early to know if they’re dead or injured.

<-- this is studying- Kabul style (on the floor)

Last nights entry:

I’m working on assignments and studying for exams. You would have no clue how I’m coping.n the corner leaning on suitcases, sitting on a bag of clothes and listening to the radio.

Ahesta beroo, maahe mann ahesta beroo.

To me, this song has always been a sad song. It’s the song to which an Afghan bride and groom makes their first entrance as a married couple during their wedding. no smiles. The bride and groom walk in. bride’s eyes are glued to the floor, walking like a zombie while her husband stares straight ahead at nothing in particular.

The song to which many helpless girls take dreaded steps into a horrific new life- forced marriages. I don’t understand the lyrics, but I find it upsetting.

Anyways, today another suicide blast took place. I was at the office (it was my day off, but I went to do some university research) when I got a security alert. I’ve been anticipating it. Four dead and four injured. The suicide bomber was aiming for the ISAF convoy but killed innocent people instead. ISAF immediately reacted, shooting and killing one. People have started demonstrating, and I’m freaked out that our offices may be targeted like last time- it was set on fire.

It’s just not fair at all for the Afghan people!

And I feel like a complete idiot, not being able to do anything except pick up after them once they lose their family members.

Not good enough!

My sister’s engagement party is coming up soon. I don’t know why, but I would rather spend the money on something more productive like helping the poor and needy. But it’s up to her. I just don’t like the idea of $20 000 weddings/engagement parties when there are people dying right next door.

Ironically, I get a lecture from my grandfather about excessive spending on clothes- something he called a waste!

Work is going well. I’ve taken a more serious approach, I don’t tolerate no rubbish from anyone. I don’t get along with most of the nationals so I just hang out with the internationals. They really look out for me, and I really appreciate it! They give me advise when I really need it and I know they won’t be taking advantage of me at all. Unfortunately, our locals aren’t like that. And I’m not willing to sacrifice anything.
With the locals and nationals- ITS PURE BUSINESS!

Anyways, I gotta head back to my assignment it’s nearly 10pm and I haven’t gotten anything done, I just hope the power doesn’t go off.

Ba omideh deedaar… khuda negahdaar

If I had a wish...

2007-06-11T08:29:00.000+04:30
if i had a wish
that one wish would be
to bring you nothing but happiness
throughout eternity
if i had wings like an eagle
i'd fly high up in the air
to be above you at all times
and keep you from despair
if i could write a song
the lyrics would be of you
you wouldn’t hear no lies
but everything that is true
if i could go back in time
i'd go without looking back
to change what i did wrong
and set things on the right track
but baby, im only human
and the only thing i can really do
is take the love thats in my heart
and give it all to you... NK

I haven't been blogging for a while now, maybe it's because of work and since I've had no internet connection at home.

So why am i blogging now? Because i feel really down. I miss my friends and my home- Australia. I'm going through an identity crisis, i'm looking for myself but i can't seem to find me. I never knew i'd go through something like this. But believe it or not i don't feel like i belong here. the people are completely different.

i had a few international colleagues speak to me about office issues and the atmosphere. they were really nice about it, they explained the differences and how i should be or shouldn't be around people here. TRUST doesn't exist in this place! They told me i should go out with them. i wish i was allowed.

I've decided i'm not going to leave work for lunch because i've been warned that people will follow me.

I'm at work so i better log off...

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

The Father of the Taliban

2007-05-28T15:18:00.000+04:30

Hmmm... I was wondering where it all stems from.. read on, i found it very interesting!
An Interview with Maulana
Sami ul-Haq
The Jamestown Foundation (May 23, 2007)
By Imtiaz Ali

Maulana Sami ul-Haq is the director and chancellor of Pakistan's famous
madrassa, Darul uloom Haqqania, Akora Khattak. He has served in this post since
the death of his father, Maulana Abdul ul-Haq, the founder of the madrassa, in
1988. Darul uloom Haqqania is where many of the top Taliban leaders, including
its fugitive chief, Mullah Omar, attended. It is widely believed that the
madrassa was the launching pad for the Taliban movement in the early 1990s,
which is why Sami ul-Haq is also called the "Father of the Taliban." Besides
running his madrassa, Maulana Sami has a long political history as a religious
politician. He was among the founders of Pakistan's Muttahida Muttahida
Majlis-e-Amal (MMA) coalition of six Islamic religious parties. He recently
spoke with Jamestown analyst Imtiaz Ali.

Imtiaz Ali: During the Russian invasion, the students from your
madrassa were traveling to Afghanistan to fight, after which most of them were
eventually inducted as governors and administrators in the Taliban government.
Is the same thing continuing today? Are you still sending people to Afghanistan
for jihad?

Maulana Sami ul-Haq: No, there were not only Taliban who took part in
jihad. This is an incorrect assumption, which needs correction. After the
Russian invasion of Afghanistan, people from all walks of life went to
Afghanistan for jihad. Students from colleges and universities went more than
madrassa students.

IA: But it is an undeniable fact that students who graduated from your
madrassa played a significant role in the establishment of the Taliban regime.

SH: Well, the Taliban were busy in their studies when the factional
wars in Afghanistan reached their climax. Naturally, when the leaders could not
make it, the students had to come to the rescue of the war-torn country. Thus,
the Taliban rushed back to rescue their country from the factional fighting.
Similarly, when America attacked Afghanistan in late 2001, the same event
happened—it is understandable that when infidels attack a Muslim country, then
it is the duty of every Muslim to defend it. Maulana Sufi Muhammad of
Tehreek-e-Nafaz-e-Shariat- e-Mohammadi (TNSM) also took thousands of people for
jihad, which was a commendable action. The U.S. attack on Afghanistan was a
clear act of aggression and terrorism. But when someone rises up against U.S.
aggression, then he is called a terrorist. It is a strange and illogical
philosophy.

IA: There were reports that the Taliban leadership had called for fresh
reinforcements in connection with its spring offensive in Afghanistan. Is this
true?

SH: These are just baseless reports. Had they called upon the madrassa
students, they would have called us for the reinforcements or at least we would
know. The Taliban are not that organized. They are living in caves. They lack
proper communication and logistics systems, and that is why they do not want new
recruits. The Afghans themselves have risen up and they are fighting against
American and NATO forces.

IA: If they would ask you for help, what would be your reaction?

SH: They would never ask us. We ourselves have not sent students before
nor will we send them now. It is not our madrassa policy to do so.

IA: What would you call the situation in Afghanistan? Is that jihad?

SH: When the red forces of the Soviet Union entered Afghanistan, it was
a war of independence and we all agreed that it was jihad. Even the United
States had said that the Russians must be ousted from Afghanistan. When Russia
left, the United States committed the same aggression. So, the situation is the
same. One infidel force replaced another. No difference at all. Whether it is
Russia or America, it is a jihad.

IA: Some analysts call it a Pashtun uprising. What do you think?

SH: It is neither a Pashtun uprising or a Persian one, or a Sunni
uprising or a Shiite. In fact, the Afghan nation has risen up against the
invaders—the United States and its allies. It is a war of independence. After
the fall of the Taliban regime, the Afghan people remained quiescent for two
years to see if any positive change would come into their lives. But they did
not see anything that was promised to them at the time of the collapsing Taliban
regime and that is why they started this revolt against the occupied forces. It
is now a war of independence for all Afghans. They want to get rid of the
U.S.-led occupation forces. Terming it only a Pashtun uprising is a completely
incorrect assumption.

IA: Do you not consider the Karzai-led government in Afghanistan a
Muslim government?

SH: We have nothing to do with the Islam of Karzai. It is not our
business to issue a decree about him being Muslim or non-Muslim. We just want an
end to the suffering of the Afghan people. We ask the current Afghan rulers to
start negotiations with the Taliban and other jihadi forces to pave the way for
a durable peace in the war-torn country.

IA: It does not matter to you, then, if there is a Karzai-led
government or the Taliban, just as long as it is an Afghan government?

SH: We say that there should be no foreign interference in Afghanistan,
and the Afghans themselves should come up with a solution. All the factions—the
leaders, the Taliban, the jihadi forces—should come forward and work together
for peace. They should decide their fate in the absence of foreign interference.
But I firmly believe that there is no chance for peace and stability in
Afghanistan until the presence of foreign troops is removed.

IA: What are your thoughts on the flow of fighters between Afghanistan
and Pakistan over the Durand Line?

SH: Like I said earlier, it is an Afghan uprising against foreign
invaders and it has nothing to do with cross-border terrorism and the flow of
fighters from Pakistan.

IA: Why, then, has the government decided to fence and plant mines on
the Pakistani side of the border? Do you approve of that?

SH: I oppose this plan because the Pashtun nation on both sides of the
border shares cultural, racial and religious values. Their lives are
intertwined. They are all Muslims. They are one nation. Fencing the border will
not solve the problem. The main reason behind the tension on the Pakistan-Afghan
border is the presence of U.S.-led foreign troops in Afghanistan. The day they
leave Afghanistan, there will be no tension at all.

IA: With the ban on foreign students' admission in the religious
seminaries in 2003 by the government, has enrollment of the students changed in
your madrassa?

SH: That ban is a total violation of our fundamental rights. People
from here go to the United States and the United Kingdom for studies. Similarly,
students from other countries come to Pakistan for education. That was a kind of
service we were providing to the Muslim students from other countries. But this
ban is an unconstitutional, inhumane and unlawful act. The government has taken
this step only to appease the United States and its other Western masters. It is
a shame for us because India is a secular country, but has been issuing visas to
students from all Muslim countries who want to come to India for education.

IA: But there have been accusations that terrorists are being trained
here in the madrassas.

SH: This is nothing more than an example of the perpetual propaganda
against the madrassa system. This is what we have been hearing, but so far no
one has produced any solid evidence.

IA: The mystery has always been shrouded by the lack of an audit of the
money being received by madrassas, correct?

SH: We are not bound by the government to audit our funding system
because they do not give us any money. First, let them give us funds for running
our madrassas and then we will let them have their audit. Why are they taking
pains when they are not giving us a penny? Only those who give us financial
support have the right to audit our funds. We have our system of donations and
we do not accept any donations from the government. I also want to make it clear
that we keep a record of all our donations and funding. The funding is being
registered and we prepare annual reports and then those reports are printed
along with the names of the donors.

IA: Who gives you the donations for running this big madrassa?

SH: Common Muslims. And the majority of the funding comes from the
poorer classes of society. They know that madrassas are the forts of Islam and
the students in madrassas are the real guardians of Islam. God's religion is
flourishing in the madrassas. These people cut their meager domestic budget and
give us donations. This is how they express their love of Allah almighty and
save the integrity of these madrassas.

IA: Is Musharraf validated in meddling with religious issues
considering he is supposed to be the leader of a secular government?

SH: He has been doing all this just to appease the United States and
his other Western masters.

IA: To what extent could a nuclear Iran pose a potential threat to the
strength of Pakistan?

SH: Iran is not a threat to Pakistan at all. Iran is giving the United
States a tough time in the region and seems quite determined to acquire nuclear
power status. Muslims all over the world are happy about this move because there
should be someone who has the courage to demonstrate the religious strength to
look into the eyes of the United States. We support Iran. Besides, we would not
allow the Pakistani leadership to toe the U.S. line in dealing with Iran, as
they have done in the case of Afghanistan.

IA: There has been speculation that Iran has ambitions for a "Shiite
Crescent" in the Middle East. What is your opinion of this?

SH: This is U.S. propaganda aimed at dividing the strength of Muslims.
The Shiite-Sunni issue has been created by the United States just to hide its
failure in Iraq and to achieve its goals in the Middle East. Besides, the United
States is also creating poisonous propaganda against Iran for intervening in
Iraq's affairs just to malign its position in the world community. It is
baseless. I was in Iran two months ago where I held meetings with the top
Iranian leadership. I urged them to counter U.S. propaganda and try to satisfy
Kurds, Arabs and Sunnis. I clearly told them that if you [Iran] need the support
of the whole Muslim ummah, then you have to garner support against the United
States, not only from Shiites but also from Sunnis.

IA: What do you think of Lashkar-e-Jangvi, TNSM and other jihadi
outfits in Pakistan?

SH: Lashkar-e-Jangvi and similar organizations are the continuity of
the Kashmir problem. These jihadi forces were patronized by the Pakistani
intelligence agency, the ISI, with full state support for their activities in
Kashmir. But when Pakistan came under immense pressure, then this whole drama
was wrapped up and that is why a ban was put on these jihadi organizations. It
is all a dictated policy from the West.

IA: What do you think about the latest spate of suicide bombings in
Pakistan?

SH: This is not a surprise. This new suicide phenomenon in Pakistan is
the direct outcome of the government's policies, particularly the unjust
military operations in the tribal belt along the Afghan border. Today, Pakistani
forces are at the highest level of danger and risk due to the flawed policies of
General Musharraf in the name of fighting the so-called war on terror. This is
what I had forewarned about in the past, that if the government did not stop
these unjust military operations, then attacks on military posts and violence
would not be confined to the tribal areas, but will spread to the rest of the
country. Today, you see that this is happening.

IA: Do you think that suicide attacks are fair?

SH: The bombers would not ask us to confirm whether it is fair or
unfair. It is better you ask this question to the suicide bombers, whose family
members have been killed and houses have been bombed. They themselves decided
what they had to do. They would not ask any mullah. But they do think that they
will go straight to paradise.

IA: Who do you think these bombers are?

SH: They are young and emotional Muslims. When they see that their
leaders have surrendered to the United States and its allies, then they do not
see any other way out except for the option of suicide bombing. Among them are
students of modern universities who see how the Western powers are destroying
Muslims around the world. Suicide bombing is an international phenomenon now.
These young people do not receive any suicide training or motivation in a
madrassa or a mosque. They watch it on their TVs—the dead bodies of Muslim
brothers. They see that Muslims are being killed in various part of the world.
When they see these atrocities, they go their own way. If the international
community wants to put an end to this kind of activity, it is high time for them
to ponder solutions to issues like Palestine, Iraq and Kashmir.

IA: Besides your madrassa role, how do you see your role as a
politician in the political field?

SH: My role is very clear as a madrassa teacher as it is as a
politician. I want a true Islamic system in Pakistan. That is my simple goal.
The current Pakistani system of governance was introduced by the British Raj,
which means we are still enslaved by that colonial legacy. Our economy,
education and judicial system stem from the same exploitative British rule. I
want to introduce real Sharia, which was implemented by the four caliphs of
Islam.

IA: Will you support Musharraf in the upcoming presidential elections?

SH: We have not yet decided about the upcoming elections. But I think
they will be a fraud and a futile exercise in the name of democracy. Elections
are part of democracy, but here they have become a fraud. In my 37-year career
as a politician, I have seen a particular group of politicians from a particular
group of families ruling this country. They have made their own dynasties. Since
the creation of Pakistan, they have just been replacing one another, with no big
change in policies. I am in favor of a bloodless revolution, which would
completely overhaul the existing system. I just wonder, how can a democracy
flourish in the shadow of a military uniform? The present one is a shame of a
democracy.

IA: Do you think that with his support for the war on terror,
Musharraf's popularity has increased or decreased at home?

SH: Absolutely decreased. First, look at the declining popularity of
President Bush in his own country. So, how can Musharraf be popular for his role
in the so-called war on terror? The reports about his increasing popularity are
just rubbish.

IA: Will Musharraf be able to maintain control over Pakistan?

SH: Well, people are not happy with what he is doing here in Pakistan.
The overwhelming majority of the masses are opposing his policies, particularly
the much talked about "enlightened moderation." After bringing changes to the
Hudood laws, now his government might soon amend the blasphemy laws. But he does
not understand that the Pakistani people will sacrifice their lives on the issue
of blasphemy. All these actions demonstrate his unpopularity among the masses.

IA: Is an Islamic revolution a possibility in Pakistan's future?

SH: Anything is possible. But the most important thing to keep in mind
is that the motive behind the creation of Pakistan was the establishment of an
Islamic state for the Muslims of India. Establishment of Sharia is the logical
conclusion of Pakistan's creation.

IA: How do see yourself and your role in the next 10 years, and how can
you contribute to the peaceful revolution you mentioned earlier?

SH: I'll see how events unfold in the future. However, I'm optimistic
that after 10 years, the whole Muslim ummah will have awakened from its deep
slumber; Pakistan is no exception. I think that the vast majority of Pakistanis
will not tolerate what is going on here as silent spectators. Here is also a
lesson for the United States: to learn from what happened to the former
superpower the USSR. It should address the problems of the world in a positive
way and address the sense of deprivation being created in the people of this
region and especially in the Muslim ummah. Things have drastically changed. With
the way they [the United States and its Western allies] inflict cruelties and
damages on the Muslim ummah, there will be a strong response. Now, the Muslims
have awakened. It is time for the United States to act responsibly. Otherwise,
there will be tit-for-tat attacks.

IA: Do you think that the suicide bombing phenomenon is a kind of
awakening?

SH: Look, if you kick a sleeping man, he will not only wake but will
also resist. So, yes, suicide bombing is an awakening. Tell me, where did the
concept of suicide bombing in Pakistan come? We had not heard about any suicide
bombings in the more than two decades of the Afghan conflict. But this is a new
and unbeatable discovery which some Muslim youth have found as an answer to the
cruelties and damages being inflicted on the Muslim ummah.

IA: Can Western governments have a healthy relationship with Pakistan
through foreign aid or development work?

SH: The first step is sovereignty and respect, and only then can
foreign aid work. Until the United States and the West respect the sovereignty
of Muslim countries and stop their aggression and atrocities, nothing will work.

Do I belong here?

2007-05-24T11:34:00.000+04:30

My favourite building in Kabul. It looks really nice at night when the lights are on!

Last night:

Busy again, right now I’m at home working on this entry! My internet at home is disconnected and since work hours are really long, I reach home exhausted. At work, i usually don’t find the time!

My only motivation is my job, the work load increases but day by day I am liking it more. It’s not too bad! But I have come to realised one thing- I don’t blend with these people AT ALL! I am more alien in this place than I was in Australia. funnily enough, when I used to tell Australians I was born in Australia, they considered me as one of their own. Here, although they verbally consider me their own, their behaviour says otherwise. And I can’t blend in with these people. I hate referring to them as ‘these people’ but it’s actually the nationals. The nationals in my office are alright, they’re not bad- but we disagree in many areas. There’s perhaps only one which I get along with and that’s because they’ve spent time in Canada. I’m always singled out as being not ‘Afghan’ and since I started working here, I realised that I’m not as ‘afghan’ as I thought. I am as confused as ever. All I know is that I am a Muslim and I have every right to be one- no one can judge my faith but God.

The internationals (especially the Australians) are excellent. I get along with them as good as ever! XX came to the office today and offered me stickers, Australian flags and kangaroos. I also got the chance to ‘speak’ with an Afghan American whose returned to Afghanistan to work. I was able to relate better with them than the internationals- because we both felt exactly the same, neither of us got along with the nationals because of the huge gap. We both felt like never had a conversation as good as that in ages. Our head of security is really cool, he’s so nice to talk to! He really watches out for us.

As for the rest of the afghans, I hate to say this but if they hadn’t gotten any experience from the internationals, I doubt I would have been able to survive a day at work.

There was another suicide bomb on Jalalabad Road (one of the busiest and most dangerous roads in Kabul). Two police killed.

Kidnappings still the same, the fourteen year old son of a UNDP worker returned home. But the son of another UN employee has been kidnapped and was held ransom, they paid 1000USD on the spot to release him.

Mum asked me whether I found the work environment better in Australia or in Afghanistan. Dad thinks that there’s more respect here for women. But that’s just wrong! I have come to the conclusion that in the west if a woman wears hijab or dresses modestly (non-muslim women included), men don’t make remarks or disrespectful gestures. However, in Afghanistan a woman is disrespected, sworn at, guys make remarks/comments regardless of what the woman is wearing- even if it’s a head to toe covering burqa/ chadari. It’s disturbing! Not even the hijab is able to protect a woman here- even if the west is ‘evil’ and a non Islamic regime, at least a hijabi is respected and looked upto in society.

Malalai Joya has also been dismissed from parliament just a few days ago, she compared the parliament to a ‘stable’ and the parliamentarians to horses and donkeys. As much as I admire her courage and her dedication to help the poor, I think her lack of education is clearly evident in her speaking skills. She isn’t an eloquent speaker, and regardless of her ideas and supporting evidences, if one doesn’t have speaking skills then it’s very likely for them to be shunned.

Another MP I admire is Bashardost. He lives for the poor! His wages is 40000 Afs a month (which has the value of $4000 in Australia). he lives in a small house, drives an old volvo (not a $40 000 4WD like other MPs). He gives the rest to the poor! He doesn’t want to get married because of afghans pathetic culture of $20 000 weddings when there are thousands of people starving for food outside the wedding hall.

The boys in the office played a cruel joke on me this morning! I call them boys because they’re really young, but they’re all married or engaged! So young! I got to the office on time, there was only Ws in the office. Soon enough Bsr came arrived, it started off with me asking Bsr of his wedding date- he told me it’s his second wedding. i was about to start lecturing him on the implications of having more than one wife when Ws added that Bsr’s first wife helped in the search for Bsr’s second wife. That’s when I took a stance and started saying it’s immoral and unfair! Nsr took my side (he’s from Hrt so he’s pretty moderate and smart). Nsr said that islam only allows for more than wife, only and only if equality is possible. He stressed on the point that apart from the prophet, no one is able to equalise. Ws continued saying that he can never marry one wife, he’s going to marry seven because he doesn’t believe he can commit to one woman for the rest of his life. I was completely stunned! I couldn’t believe that these ‘modern’ guys could say something like this. I kept saying it’s not fair for the woman. Ws said that it’s because women in Afghanistan have a big heart and the western women are jealous and they don’t want to share their man. I was so angry! I told them that it’s not jealousy- it’s commitment, faithfulness and loyalty.

Anyways, this continued for half an hour longer until Sdq walked in and said the truth- it’s Bsr’s first wedding. I got Ws to admit whether he meant what he said or not. Thankfully, he said no! I was relieved, for the very reason that if these guys represented Afghanistan’s ‘modern’ boys, then I wonder what the other boys would be like.

The entire purpose of their joke was for them to see how I would react, as a woman. But they played their roles pretty good!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar

PS I have an assignment that was due on Monday and another one that's due this Monday!

God help me!

Can't remember when this was.. a week ago

2007-05-24T11:33:00.000+04:30
It’s 1027hrs and I’m waiting for everyone to finish off so we can go shopping for my sisters engagement party! Some place called puleh baaghoomi (mum’s choice). I definitely am not going to buy clothes from this place- the fashion’s 20 years behind.

So my only hope is to buy fabric and head to the tailors and pray to God for a miracle.

Flies have been annoying me like crazy! It’s not even summer yet and they’re already out!

Nothing else to say really- all I’ve been doing is working! I have a uni assignment due on Monday. So things are pretty full on.

Things are getting pretty bad here, another little boy was kidnapped the other day- a relative of his works for an international company. Another young guy (aged 18-19) has been kidnapped and his captors seek a ransom of US$450 000. It’s been nearly two weeks. The ‘authorities’ can’t do anything!

I’m not scared- I mean I’ve come to Afghanistan from Australia, people think I’m loaded with millions of dollars, I work for an international organisation so I’m set for any consequences that I have to face. I expect many challenges and I’m willing to face them (if they come my way). it would be naïve of me to consider myself safe. My only fear is for my family. I just pray to God to watch over them and all other afghan expatriates and non-afghans who have returned with the genuine intention of helping rebuild Afghanistan.

Where I work, our street is being watched at all times by ‘enemies’. We were told to take precautionary measures.

gotta go, ba omideh dedaar...

Laughter- the best medicine!

2007-05-16T17:39:00.000+04:30
I laughed today like I've never laughed before. I had a great day at work. I met another aussie.
Security was really tight this morning, every 20 metres, an Afghan National Police was stationed on both sides of the road.

My lovely, wuvly Farkhunda!

2007-05-14T12:16:00.000+04:30
Monday's entry

I remember the time when I used to call Farkhunda ‘qand’ and in reply she used to call me Kholajan. I never used to understand and she’d explain to me that old ladies say ‘qand’ etc. Only now do I understand how annoying it is! Lol. The other day I was asking for directions from an old lady and she was like ‘weee qandolak’. And it just irritated me!

Went out yesterday with my sister alone to Shahre Naw (an area with normal ppl) for the first time ever! At first, I was chickening out and then I eventually got used to it. Wasn’t too bad.

Also went to a wedding last night and hens night the night before that. It was alright, too much unwanted attention- for no other reason other than we were from khaarij. The wedding was dads cousin’s niece. She married her relative from Austria.

Went to work today, tiring because I didn’t get enough sleep last night- wedding! I left the house early, but it took an hour to get there. there were road blocks and ISAF troops everywhere, on foot and in cars! I figured there must have been something wrong- probably a suicide bomb. But it was because of Mr Dadullah whose been killed so they feared a Taliban uproar. They showed his dead body on TV. I found out when I got to work.

Works going well, it’s a bit scarey because some of my colleagues get prank/ threats.

As I said, it’s hard to trsut people so I’m still finding it a bit difficult ‘blending in’ with Afghans.
I’m really tired. It’s 935pm. I need to catch up on sleep.

Oh yeah and Farkhunda, there have been kakagaks proposing. REAL kakagaks. No joke! Okay fine, not old enough to be kakagak, but still.. you know what I mean, right? Or do you want me to explain? No, not working.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Say hello to my new friends- stomach cysts!

2007-05-14T12:14:00.000+04:30
Its Friday 11 May- typing this on my laptop on Word (internet failure AGAIN).

After receiving results for a medical check up (as required by my new job) I met my new friends. I am told to take medication (eugh) and avoid take away food, tap water and wash all vegetables with potassium permanganate before consumption.

No wonder I’ve been feeling sick and nauseous lately.

Have been very busy of late.

Tuesday- went shopping for my sisters engagement dress. OMG it was a challenge! It was literally shop til you drop. Result: we found a realllllly nice dress! Thanks to my taste.

Wednesday- organised my job requirements. They wanted me to start today but I declined as it was too sudden. Told them I will start tomorrow (Thursday- also last day of the week in Afghanistan).

Thursday- First day at work! Much more pleasant than expected. Settled in quite well. Most colleagues were surprised as to why I had applied as a national and not as an international employee. Another Afghan-Australian at the office is also employed as a national. His reason is so that he remains low key (haven’t met him yet, just heard this from other colleagues). I asked my ‘concerned’ colleagues what the difference was- national or international (I knew the answer, but I wanted them to say it). Salary difference! Then I explained my reason to them.

My reason? Well, I told them that I hadn’t come to Afghanistan for jeeb porr kaddan (filling pockets with money). That quietened them.

Another aussie works in our office, he’s from Queensland. we had a chat about Australia- it was great meeting someone from home.

The boys with whom I share an office with, are normal. So I don’t have a problem, there are quite a few weirdos around but my superiors told me to let them know if they ever make me feel uneasy. It’s my pleasure! But I’m not in direct contact with the ‘weirdoes’ (guards) unless it’s entering or exiting the compound.

Work hours are looooong- eight to five with a one hour lunch break! Thankfully, we have a two day break (as all international companies do) Friday and Saturday.

BB completed my shopping! So happy, so very happy!

There’s a hen’s night tonight (aka Henna night)- some distant relative is getting married to some afghan dude from london. Stomach feels funny- not in the mood of going! The wedding is tomorrow night. Hmmmm…..

My parents and grandma have gone to hamaam. I didn’t go this time because last time I felt totally sick (that’s partly the reason). The other part of the reason is that I just don’t like the place. Farkhunda, you’re so right!
There was an interview on TV the other night with Malalay Joya (MP for Farah province). 28 years of age, 12 body guards. She makes incredible comments on issues- fellow MP’s, former communist regimes in Afghanistan, the mujahideen fighters, warlords and the list goes on. Joya calls herself ‘the voice of Farahs underprivileged’ and she’s also realised that by speaking out against certain groups she’s putting herself in great danger (not to mention water bottles being thrown at her in parliament and being beaten by fellow women MPs a while ago). Joya realised this and claims that by speaking out (initiated 3 years ago) she’s geared in her kafan (burial dressing for the dead).

Whether I agree or disagree with her viewpoints is a different case, but I admire her courage and passion as an afghan woman (even though she gets a bit emotional at times).

Until next time…….
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Yes! I got the job...

2007-05-07T15:02:00.000+04:30
Imla qalbi bil yaqeen,
thabbit lee ala hathaddeen
waghfirlee wal muslimeen.
Sami Yusuf

Just as i was logging in, Sami Yusuf came on TV with his song 'hasbi rabbi'. The clip is inspiring and gives off a sense of easiness. It shows him in a suit in the morning heading off to work using the train. Having a chat to an elderly man next to him, an elderly lady gets on the train and he happily offers him her seat. After work, he engages in music lessons. It just shows that Muslims are able to integrate into western society. I don't know, every time i see that clip I just love being a Muslim. He looks so happy!

Oh yeah, good news! I've been offered a job so i'm very happy! Won't disclose whereabouts. But it's for an international organisation. I cruised through the interview. They want me to start as soon as possible.

Suicide blast again in Kabul. According to my limited comprehension of Dari, as i understand it on Afghan news it said that 2 little kids have died and 2 other girls injured. It went off at 730am. We heard the blast! AGAIN.... demoralising.. not fair at all!!!! Two US soldiers also shot dead outside Puleh Charkhi prison by Afghan Soldiers. Or were they disguised as soldiers? hmmm...

Sister's engagement is going to be held soon.

Speaking of which, her in laws have just arrived. Knocking on the door. They're here to set the engagement date and discuss engagement matters. Must go make tea.

Ba omideh deedaar khuda negahdaaar... :-)

Daydreaming in La la land

2007-05-05T18:01:00.000+04:30
NB I am not a fan of Indian movies at all. But 'Devdas' was an absolute classic (none of that Bollywood/ western wannabe rubbish that you see). The lyrics to the songs are breathtaking.. read on..

Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There was a knock at my heart;
who entered here?

Who spread this vibrant color over me?
My happiness killed me

It killed me...
God, it killed me...

I hid every sorrow;
with laughter I bore each injustice.
I even embraced thorns,
and was wounded by flowers.

Yes, but when I raised my hands in prayer,
I begged God for you!
God, I begged for you!

There was a knock at my heart;
who entered here?

_________________________

Happiness comes this night; a resplendent wedding procession has arrived.
An ocean of sadness, having welled in the eyes, was slowly checked.
Despair spread even in their happiness, wrapping her in the shadow of pain.

Taking memories of past moments, going with heavy steps,
the heart wept and the eyes welled up; the spirit cried out.
Those childhood memories,
those bonds and those affections,
those promises of everlasting love
Laughing, making him laugh, fighting and then making up;
each and every moment of love, burning like a lamp in my heart —

I am taking it with me, I am taking it with me, I am taking it with me!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar....

A Friday in Kabul (in pictures)

2007-05-05T12:11:00.000+04:30
Paghman
Nader Shah's tomb- boys flying kites

5 men and 1 kite

Kabul view from Tapeh Nadershah

Went out to Tapeh Nadershah's tomb. On Fridays (national holiday) everyone comes out to fly their kites. Mainly boys. But I went too and there was nothing wrong, everyone's too occupied with flying their kites and defeating each others kites by cutting the thread of their opposition.

Most guys had their hands bleeding because the thread dug into their skin, dad flew a kite after 30 years. He was better than i had expected- even though he was defeated 4 times in half an hour, eventually dad joined his opposition and together they managed to get some kites down.

It was my first time ever seeing something like this. I loved it even though i wasn't flying a kite. i enjoyed it just as much. the winds were too strong, so there's no way i could have flown a kite.

My sisters' engagement party will be held in a month, god willing.

As for my documentary project, the excitement is starting to play up now! I've proposed to Tolo TV to lend us their studios and editing facilities- see how it goes!I have the help of a few journalists- that's more than what i need.

ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Another late but fascinating one

2007-05-05T12:03:00.000+04:30
Thursday's entry.

Suicide bomb #4 in Kabul went off yesterday killing one and injuring fourteen. Wednesday night Abdul Sabur Farid (one of Hekmatyars’ former commanders) and present senator was shot dead as he was leaving his house to go to the mosque. May God forgive him.

Woke up this morning thinking I’m in my bedroom at home. *Sigh*

I’ve been busy daydreaming about the doco I am currently working on. I’ve approached Tolo Tv journalists etc to help me out as my Dari sucks. So far, I have received positive feedback! I will reveal more once the project has had a start.

Have another job interview on Sunday (yes everywhere is open. Isn’t that strange?)

After spending over two months in Afghanistan if one asked me the following question

Should you live in Afghanistan?

If you’re a woman, only if you’re willing to live a hard life! If you’re a man, then by all means – it’s your world! Let me explain why.
If you’re a woman, simple things is done in absolute difficulty like driving, shopping, taking up a career, tertiary education (Kabul University- female population is 22%) and the list goes on.

If you’re a man, your in luck! All the aforementioned is easily accessible for men.

My proposed solution is for all the women to come out of their homes, fathers to have some sense knocked into their heads and allow for their daughters to be educated and to take up careers. Islam gives women this right, who are men to take it away?

It’s the lack of female presence which creates such difficulty for afghan women who live in Afghanistan to create a living for themselves. It’s also the very same reason why most Afghan women who come from abroad are scared away- lack of female presence. Or so I think…

I'm sorry...

2007-05-01T16:58:00.000+04:30

Perhaps what you heard may not be exactly what you wish to have heard, but my
answer was based on what you had stated. I don't want to make your past seem as
though it's haunting you. You seemed like an excellent person and I
sincerely wish you all the best in your future endeavours. I may never be able to tell you this due to cultural impediments, but i hope someday you'll understand that certain people aren't made for you- not me. I pray that God heals your wounds and ends your pain and may you successfully complete your journey in finding your soul mate.
Finally found some time to put in the latest entry. Well, there isn't much to put in anyways. Not much has been happening, at least not that i can disclose.
I'll hook up some photoes soon!
No bombings or attacks ended up taking place at the festival. What a shame I didn't go! We ended up going to Paghman on the day as we were invited over there for lunch.
Good news! One of my girls is shopping for me in Perth, yay! Love you, B.B. Can't wait to recieve it!
Been notified by university that i am due for graduation this semester. Wonder if i will be able to attend my graduation. Hmmm....
All else is good, i miss Farkhunda HEAPS!
Will enter more soon.
Ba omideh something interesting happens.. khuda negahdaar

End of the road for Mr Taliban?

2007-04-26T19:15:00.000+04:30
Tu ra nadeeda raftom,
dil az mann gelah daara (Shabnumi Soraya- Tajiki singer)

200 Taliban have been surrounded in Uruzgan (that’s where our Aussie troops are posted.. GO AUSSIE GO!) The Taliban have sought refuge in civilian houses shielding themselves. So what happens now? they’re under scrutiny. All will be known soon. In the meantime, Mr Boss from the Taliban has blatantly proclaimed that there will be ‘major offensive’ attacks in retaliation. Suprisingly, very little has been said in the media.

I guess this means I will be missing out on the jashen (festival) which I have been looking forward to very very very much. Parents think it’s too dangerous- yes, out of the thousands of people attending, it will be my family and I that will be hit directly (IF these attacks do happen)! There was another festival a week ago, wasn’t allowed to go to that for security purposes and also because it’s not a place where women should go- it’s for MEN, BOYS, GUYS (Even though it’s advertised for EVERYONE). As I said, it’s a mans’ world!

Jeez, what else is there to do in this place? Oh no, here I go with the whole whingeing thing again.. but can you honestly blame me?

Haven’t heard from my potential job- not going to bother with them. If they want me, they come after me!

Yesterday we were invited to dads (paternal) relatives place. The girls are really nice but… not my kind of crowd (to say the least and to avoid being impolite). But they’re honestly very very nice and very good girls. Let’s just say they get along better with my mum.

Today we had unexpected guests come over for lunch. Around fifteen people, no less! Oddly enough, they don’t call ahead of time to say they’re coming.

At the moment, it’s 5.56pm- neighbours are all outside having a chat. Kids are playing. Weather is great! People returning home from work. Busy busy- it’s the best time to be out!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar!

Character assassination

2007-04-19T22:19:00.000+04:30
He's tackling corruption very well. A stern face hidden underneath a grey bushy beard and white hair. Blunt, straight to the point yet he's one of the few who is really doing well for the country. Attorney General, Abdel Jabar Sabet has been under attack by the media non stop in the last 24 hours. He’s under heavy criticism for calling Tolo Tv’s journalist to his offices. Critics say he’s jeapordising Afghanistans' right to freedom of speech. Have a read of this article posted on BBC today (see below). See also the press release which has been heavily exaggerated (according to my personal thoughts).

While it may be unacceptable for an Attorney General to approach TV stations and alter in their productions, one still needs to keep in mind the developing nature of afghanistan. Pragmatically, Afghanistan hasn't developed it's freedom of speech. Many Afghans are too afraid to speak out.

In terms of journalism, i have witnessed the powerful impact of media propaganda and it's effect on nations (including Australia). The media is able to manipulate and shape ideas of the masses by using it's right to free speech. But to what extent is it free speech? Unfortunately, even Australian media laws are still unable to draw a fine law between defamation and free speech. The Australian media, to some extent, has portrayed a negative image of Muslims in Australia creating phobia nationwide.

In essence, although i don't agree Attorney General Sabet is the man for the job, however we do need someone who gives our journalists a twist in the ear every now and then for manipulation. As for Shukria Barukzai, to say the least- she's my most disliked MP. She doesn't maintain her ground and changes her stance on issues too often.

Anyways, back to Attorney General- there's been a hyper reaction here in Kabul. It's all over the news- character assassination! Seriously, GET OVER IT and leave the poor man alone! He's top notch! This is the first step he's taken which is wrong, but there's plenty more that he's done which deserves praise.

As for other happenings, things are pretty calm here. Just been really busy in the past few days with guests.

Row over Afghan TV station raid

Protesters denounced the raid as an attack against press freedom Staff at an Afghan television station in the capital, Kabul, have protested against a raid by armed police who allegedly assaulted workers there.
Dozens of journalists and members of parliament demonstrated outside parliament against the raid. They accused President Hamid Karzai of smothering freedom of speech during Tuesday's raid at Tolo TV.
MP and former journalist Shukria Barakzai accused the authorities of having no respect for the law.
'Over-reaction'
"It's a small example for journalists in Afghanistan. We face lots of violence," she told the rally outside parliament.

Staff at Tolo are renowned for their campaigns for social change. Staff at Tolo say that about 50 armed police entered its offices, assaulted staff and arrested three people who were taken to the attorney general's office. He had complained earlier about an item broadcast in one of the station's news programmes which he said misrepresented a speech he made in parliament.

The New York based Committee to Protect Journalists described the raid as an "over-reaction", and an indication that Kabul was moving quickly away from its pledge of press freedom.

Press release from Tolo Tv- recieved in my email inbox:
Attorney General orders arrest of Tolo TV staff
Kabul, Afghanistan 17 April 2007 -
Tonight at about 7pm Kabul time, more than 50 armed men from the 10th District Police, under direct orders from the Attorney General, Abdul Jabar Sabet, surrounded the offices of Tolo TV in Wazir Akbar Khan in Kabul Afghanistan. The Police physically entered Tolo TV premises and violently attacked staff of Tolo TV, taking three staff members of Tolo TV with them. The Tolo TV staff members, were taken directly to the Attorney General's Office and detained.
Earlier at about 6.20pm tonight, the Attorney General, Abdul Jabar Sabet, had complained of a news clip on the 6pm Tolo TV news, which he claimed was inaccurate or misrepresented the Attorney General's comments at an earlier press conference today. After investigating the complaint, Tolo TV management found the complaint to be invalid. The Tolo TV news clip broadcast was accurate and representative of what the Attorney General had said at the press conference.
At the time that the District 10 Police came to Tolo TV offices, they sought the detention of Hamed Haidary, who was the journalist covering the news clip mentioned above, and the "person responsible" for Tolo TV. The Police did not have any legal documentation. When asked to produce such documentation, the Deputy Commander of District 10 Police, wrote on a piece of paper the following:

To the administration of Tolo TV
In accordance with the order of the Attorney General, the responsible person for Tolo TV, and Hamed Haidary, the reporter, are required to appear at the 10th District Police Office.
Signed on behalf of the Commander of the 10th Police District, Mohammad Qasim Aminzoi
The above document was handed to Tolo TV staff, but was not accepted by legal advisors to Tolo TV as it is not valid in Law. Under the Constitution of Afghanistan, Article 38 states as follows:
Residences shall be immune from trespassing.
No one, including the state, shall have the right to enter a residence or search it without the owners permission or by order of an authoritative court, except in situations and methods delineated by law.
In case of an evident crime, the responsible official shall enter or search a residence without prior court order. The aforementioned official, shall, after entrance or completion of search, obtain a court order within the time limit set by law.
No arrest warrants, Court orders, or other legal or written documents were produced by the 10th District Police (other than as noted above).
They advised that the Attorney General had verbally ordered them to detain Tolo TV staff. When Tolo TV staff, including Tolo TV legal advisor, Mohammad Abdullah, Tolo TV Administration Manager, Siddiq Ahmadzada and Tolo TV Security Manager, Lal Mohammad, tried to reason with the Police they were physically assaulted and then dragged into Police vehicles.
These three Tolo TV staff members were taken to the Attorney General's office (not the 10th District Police Office), where they were held until public pressure forced the Attorney General to release the Tolo TV staff after about 1 hour. A number of other journalists, including 4 staff members of Associated Press who were covering the incident, were also detained without charge and allegedly assaulted and their footage allegedly confiscated.
It should also be noted that under the Media Laws of Afghanistan, all complaints about the media should, at first instance, be directed towards the Media Investigation Commission which is tasked with investigating such complaints. This Commission is then able to refer the matter to the Attorney General's office if warranted. This procedure was not followed in this instance.
We hereby state as follows:
the actions of the District 10 Police and the Attorney General's office, including the Attorney General, Abdul Jabar Sabet, were a complete violation of the Constitution of Afghanistan
the manner in which Tolo TV were physically abused and detained was completely unacceptable and against the law
the physical transgression into Tolo TV offices is against the Constitution and the laws of Afghanistan
sthe taking of Tolo TV staff to the Attorney General's office was against the law
the direct ordering of District Police by the Attorney General's office is against the law
these actions of the Attorney General's office and the District 10 Police are not only against the rights of media enshrined in the Constitution, but also against the principles of democracy and against the national interest of Afghanistan
Further, we demand as follows:
he immediate suspension from duty of all persons involved in this incident including the Attorney General, the Commander of the 10th District of Police and the Deputy Commander of the 10th District Police
the creation of a commission who will be tasked with investigating this incident, to be comprised of members acceptable to the media
the dismissal of all those found to have had any involvement in this incident which is against the laws of Afghanistan
the prosecution to the full extent of the law of all of those found to have committed any crime
Further, Tolo TV Management would like to thank all of those people who have indicated their support for Tolo TV, including all other media organisations of Afghanistan and international organisations who have covered this event, human rights organisations, members of Parliament, unions representing journalists, the staff of Tolo TV, Lemar TV and Arman FM, all other organisations who have expressed their public support, and most of all the public of Afghanistan who have been unswerving in their support.
I shall write to Tolo Tv.
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Instigation of mild fear...

2007-04-15T23:14:00.000+04:30
"With a drop of my sweetheart's blood,
Shed in defense of the Motherland,
Will I put a beauty spot on my forehead,
Such as would put to shame the rose in the garden,"
- Malalai (Afghan heroine)

Lately, I have been caught up with home duties and studies as it's my final semester! But here are the highlights.

We were invited to mums relatives house where I met X- a relative who was captured by the Taliban (while they were in power) at the age of 15. She was forced to marry him. She escaped with the help of her father to Pakistan! In retaliation, the Taliban held her mother hostage for months. Eventually, she was dragged back into her 'husbands' home. At the Taliban's downfall, X escaped for good and joined the army. Currently, her story is wanted by many internationals who want to publish her story. She has refused, afraid of her identity being revealed as she lives in fear of her ex-husband. Her story has dominated BBC and taken tabloids by storm.

Surprisingly, she wants ME to write her biography so long as i don't reveal her identity. It is an absolute honour! We exchanged contact numbers. Cool huh?

Sunday shoot outs- BBC News

President Hamid Karzai said 10 people died when coalition forces opened
fire on civilians after a suicide attack in eastern Nangarhar province on
Sunday.
Another issue which really worried me is the state of Kabul University. During the 50's and 60's the university was one of the finest in Asia- currently, it's still prettier than any university i have seen so far. However, one of the students i met complained about the lack of facilities available. Basic necessities such as electricity and water or even chairs. In some cases, students have to take notes throughout the entire lecture, standing up! These students are the future of this country, they should be made a priority.

Kabul University in pictures...

I also visited, Lycee Malalai. A French school my dad's sisters attended. Afghan and French flags greeted us, waving side by side. Tall and proud. The school hasn't been destructed at all. Very well architectured. Inside paintings of a young afghan girl hung loose- it was the same girl, just different paintings. I knew Malalai was a name, but who was she? Mum explained who she was.

Malalai was a young girl, yet to be married who went along with the Afghan army to help tend to the wounded and provide water and spare weapons. Eventually there came a point in the battle where the Afghan army, despite their superior numbers, started to lose morale and the tide seemed to be turning in favour of the British. Seeing this, Malalai took off her veil and shouted out:

"Young love! If you do not fall in the battle of Maiwand,By God, someone is saving you as a symbol of shame!"

This gave many of the Afghan fighters and ghazis a new resolve and they redoubled their efforts. At that moment one of the leading flag-bearers fell from a British bullet, and Malalai went forward and held up the flag (some versions say she made a flag out of her veil), singing a landai:

"With a drop of my sweetheart's blood,
Shed in defense of the Motherland,
Will I put a beauty spot on my forehead,
Such as would put to shame the rose in the garden,"

But then Malalai was herself struck down and killed. However, her words had spurred on her countrymen and soon the British lines gave way, broke and turned, leading to a disastrous retreat back to Kandahar and the biggest defeat for the Anglo-Indian army in the Second Afghan War. http://www.garenewing.co.uk/angloafghanwar/biography/malalai.php

Speaking my mind, exhausting my right to 'freedom of speech' has caused people fear for my safety. As a result, I edited previous posts and will try to maintain an objective stance in political issues which is extremely fragile. However, the media has finally shed some light on the French and Afghan workers who have been held hostage by the Taliban in Nimrooz- here's the article from BBC.

Video footage has surfaced of two French aid workers seized by the Afghan Taleban several weeks ago.

Canada's CBC network published still images from the video, which it said showed a female hostage pleading for her life in a whispered voice.
The two aid workers and three Afghan colleagues were seized in the Nimroz province nearly two weeks ago. The French government has confirmed these are the missing people, the Canadian broadcaster said. The images, which the channel calls "disturbing", show the woman saying she is a French aid worker who was kidnapped by the Taleban 10 days ago.

At one point, she pleads for her life. Another man, who identifies himself as Eric, appears on the video making a similar appeal.
The video also shows the three Afghan men blindfolded and shackled, according to news agency Associated Press.
The tape would be the first evidence that the two aid workers and the Afghan men they were with are still alive.
The two French nationals were working for an educational NGO.
The Taleban has confirmed it is holding the five, but has not said what would happen to them.
French President Jacques Chirac asked the Afghan government on Friday to help secure their release.
Last month, an Italian journalist was kidnapped in the southern province of Helmand but released after two weeks.
Hmmmm... I wonder if Karzai will abide by his 'no more negotiations with the Taliban' policy or will this be another 'extraordinary case'.

A lady was shocked today to find out we had come from khaarij. She stressed that situation is critical and now is definitely not the time to have come to Afghanistan. Westerners are constant targets. I started freaking out considering I'm working for an international organisation.

Thankfully, we're getting armed bodyguards soon. At least, I'll feel a little safer! But then again, it's a crazy world, it's hard to trust people.

There's a virus out in Afghanistan (apparently created by the Pakis) which involves death by a simple telephone call. According to my sources, one person has been killed in Jalalabad as a result of excessive bleeding through the eyes, nose and ears. SO WHAT DO YOU DO? Avoid answering calls from unidentified numbers!

It's 1252am, extremely tired!

PS Just outside my office, there's a door keeper whom I had a chat with while waiting for my lift. He said something which has been repeating in my head all day. He said even if a Western Afghan returns to Afghanistan and does something as simple as build a house- that within itself will help nearly ten families, let alone working for the cause of the country.

Until then......
ba omideh deedaar.......

More photoes...

2007-04-15T22:37:00.000+04:30
Remember the execution of a woman found 'guilty' of adultery by the Taliban- dressed in chadari and shot in the head in Kabul stadium??? This is the entry to the place where it happened!
Dayra- female entertainment!

Sunset in Maydan Shar- returning to Kabul. Have a closer look- Karzai's face is at the apex.

As promised...

2007-04-12T01:13:00.000+04:30
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
—With silence and tears.
Dedicated to Farkhunda

I’m on the brink of collapsing- excessive fatigue! It’s 134am and I’m exhausted! Been cooking and cleaning all day (my sisters in laws and her fiancé was over for lunch). So glad it’s over!

Daym, first suicide bombing ever- for Algeria. 30 killed. Won't get into that, too tired!

Here's my speech I promised to paste (it was directed to Australians):
Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you today as an Australian afghan. I
am
first generation Australian- born and raised in Western Australia and grew up
in a traditional Afghan family. Torn between two cultures- east and west, I
found it very difficult finding my identity while growing up. Trying to ‘fit
in’
with my traditional afghan family but I was consistently told I’m
too
‘australianised’ that left me in a state of confusion. Gradually, I learnt to
accept
my individuality as being neither a complete afghan nor a true blue
aussie but a
combination of both.

This is my final semester of
university
studies which I am completing externally, undertaking a double
degree. I am in
the process of completing Bachelor of Arts majoring in
Justice Studies and
Bachelor of commerce majoring in business law.I came to
Afghanistan only five
weeks ago with only one goal, ‘give more, take
little’. Since childhood, I
remember my parents longing to return to
Afghanistan. They’d cry when they see
images of Afghanistan on TV. I didn’t
understand what the big deal was. I mean
Australia by far had better living
standards and was blatantly more developed so
that meant that my parents
should be better off in Australia, right? WRONG! I’ll
explain
why.

My father left Afghanistan for America to pursue his
studies at the age of 17, only a year before the Soviet invasion. Mum had
left
Afghanistan 27 years ago. So it seemed like a lifetime for
them.although
Australia is a ‘lucky country’ and is the land of ‘bread and
butter’- it wasn’t
home for my parents. this bond they had for Afghanistan
didn’t make sense to me
until we arrived to Afghanistan in March 07. Dad
knelt and kissed the ground
while mum got teary, i was eager to face many
challenges to come my way- whether
I was prepared was a different matter
altogether.

As you may
already be aware, Kabul is a very small
city- smaller than my hometown, perth!
But the poptulations is more than
double! The cruel war has disadvantaged many
Afghan families, leaving them
in a state of despair and poverty. The Taliban
using Islam, the religion of
peace as a mechanism for war. they killed innocent
civilians. They might not
have killed women and children, but they brutally
tortured them emotionally.
they killed men, who in this patriarchal society play
an integral role in
the family. not only did they kill men they deprived a
family of a father, a
brother, an uncle, a friend, a son, a husband- the list
goes on. As I
prepared my speech this morning, news broke that Ajmal Naqshbandi
who was
held captive by the Taliban has been beheaded. My deepest thoughts and
condolences goes to their families. Sadly, the cruelty of this regime is
evident
in todays society.in fact, it’s right before your eyes in this very
room. These
children are victims of a disadvantaged war.

I was
privileged
enough to visit Hope House only a few weeks ago, it was the day i
became a
witness to the cruel imposition of the Taliban . Children of a
disadvantaged
'war'. An unforgettable experience, almost demoralising.
Meeting sixty deprived
children and a number of widows. Deprived of
emotional, educational and basic
care which every human being
deserves.
From a distance the three storey
sanctuary grew larger and
larger as we drove closer, the middle aged gatekeeper
came out via the side
door to check who we were before allowing entry. His stern
face broke into a
friendly one as a smile spread across his face. Realising who
we were, the
gates opened as our 4WD made it's way inside. Little children stood
and
looked on.I tried smiling, but i couldn't. I was frozen. I kept an eye open
for Kaka Sidiq ( Khola Mahbobas brother) but the children were much too
distracting. The car stopped in the middle of the oval as directed by the
orphanage helpers. Curious to explore, i thoughtlessly stepped out of the
vehicle into a puddle of mud. For the first time, i didn't care. Curiously,
i
followed my family upstairs. Mum began conversing, starting by asking them
what
position they hold in the orphanage. Gradually, it came to light who
they were.
Widows of the disadvantaged Taliban 'war'. One of the widows gave
explicit
details about the brutal death of her husband. The Taliban had
demanded him to
release information about the whereabouts of chief Northern
Alliance leaders
(Ahmad Shah Masood's party). It was obvious to the Taliban
that the man hadn't
information about the party as he wasn't involved. Just
an excuse to beat the
poor man. That's when the torture began. He was hung
by his ankles from the
ceiling and beaten for two hours consecutively.
Finally, he was acquitted. A few
days later he died. Unsure, his wife
presumed it was internal bleeding. Leaving
behind his wife and four
children.I couldn’t take it any more! My eyes became
too wet to see, I
dropped my head and waited for them to finish. Every pair of
eyes in the
room told a dreadful story, a horrific past. yet they continue to
smile,
this was only a fraction of kabuls poor and needy. Some of the children
told
their stories with no emotion. As if losing a parent was alright. Suddenly,
I realised why I was in Kabul. It was for children like them. how could I be
so
selfish and turn away from these faces. my moral conscience would’nt
allow it.
Even if I did go back to Australia, I’d be sure to leave something
behind and
contribute somehitng. A pledge to the poor and needy. I know I’ll
face many
impediments along the way… what doesn’t kill me can only make me
stronger.

There are thousands more in need out there, waiting
to be
given a fair chance. They continue to smile yet in every voice of
every man, in
every infants cry of fear, in every cry of every child. In
ever voice I hear the
culety of war, the unhealed wounds, the pain and
sufferings- hoping and praying
for a day to come.

As for me, my
journey continues… I am a
pessimist when I say one person can do only so
much, but I hope, like Mahboba
and Sidiq rawi to become an inspiration
for others to help developing
nations including Afghanistan. Leave
government policy aside, which in my
opinion isn’t doing much but if every
person can do what Mahboba has done,
accommodate for 60 orphans, the world
would be a better place.

If
it weren't for Australia, I
wouldn't be here today. I appreciate everything
Australia has given me- the
education and the expertise to help Afghanistan. It
would be selfish of me
if I didn't acknowledge that. But Afghanistan is in
desparate need of me, I
don’t want to return without leaving something
behind.
I have one request for you to help the afghan people the Ausralian way and ‘give them a fair go, mate’.

Thank you.

I will write more tomorrow! By the way, I recieved my grade for an assignment- Distinction! Not bad for someone who has no access to uni facilities ay? ;)

Ba omideh khaw, khuda negahdaar.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

PS Saw another Tolo Tv presenter today - Masood Ahmadi i think his name is.

Where is Afg heading?

2007-04-10T23:59:00.000+04:30
Che begaam az dasteh tu, ay roozegaar
Be tu che mereseh az shekasti mann?
- (Dilkhushi) Omid

Yesterday was an excellent day! It was the opening ceremony for 'Hope House' (orphanage). I was asked to present a speech and co-host the event. I was more than happy. I arrived there hours before the commencement of the ceremony and wrote up my speech, jotting down notes and scribbling. A lot of effort had been put in.

When it was my turn to speak, i surprised myself! I cried! :S Halfway through my speech i couldn't help it! Cameras, guests from Australia- everyone was looking and here i was in tears.
But over all, the event was a great success.

As I was trying to get through the crowd of men to go inside, Raymond Nelson (Deputy for Mahbobas Promise) offered me a seat next to him. I didn't want to refuse because that would be too rude! We exchanged views on Afghanistan, Australia and other ideas. A few moments later, a young guy sitting on the other side of Raymond conversed with me in Dari. Basically, I explained why i was here, my hopes and what i want to do. I realised that the whole table and the one next to us stopped to listen to our conversation. All of them AFGHAN MEN.

All credit goes to the helpers at Mahbobas Promise, the children and most importantly- the man behind the scenes Kaka Sidiq.

I will post my speech- (which everyone thought was excellent!) i reckon it's crap!

Oh another thing i did was absolutely pathetic with my broken Dari was TRANSLATE Raymonds speech. Oh my god, how embarrasing! Everyone else thought it was 'cute' *raises an eyebrow*

Also Naqshbandi has been killed. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

Ummm... other issues... Johnny Boy (PM John Howard) has sent more Aussie troops to Afghanistan. 450 of 'em. What is the point? Seriously! I visited Maidan (mum's hometown) and a city where it's filled with Taliban supporters. You'd expect to see the place filled with ISAF troops. but nope, the only troops there were at the entrance to the city and that's it! Once we went in, no police, no security- nothing! Anything was possible! This is where the Taliban regroup! I guess I have exceeded CIA's intelligence. WOHOOO..hahaha

Taleban kill Afghanistan reporter -BBC News

The Taleban in Afghanistan have killed an Afghan reporter abducted last month with an Italian journalist. The group said it had killed Ajmal Naqshbandi because the government had refused to meet its demands to release senior figures from prison.
Italian reporter Daniele Mastrogiacomo was released after five Taleban members were freed in exchange. The driver, Sayed Agha, was beheaded last month.
Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi has condemned Mr Naqshbandi's killing.
The two reporters and their driver were captured on 6 March in Helmand province.
Shohaabuddin Atal, a spokesman for Taleban commander Mullah Dadullah, said: "We killed Ajmal today because the government did not respond to our demands."
Italian deal The Afghan government's intelligence services spokesman, Saeed Ansari, confirmed Mr Naqshbandi had been killed.

Mr Mastrogiacomo was freed in an exchange with Taleban prisoners Tom Koenigs, UN special envoy to Afghanistan, said: "I condemn this senseless murder unreservedly and call on the authorities to bring those responsible to justice."
In Italy, Mr Prodi said he "learned with anguish" of Mr Naqshbandi's death. "We strongly condemn this absurd crime," he said.
Ajmal Naqshbandi worked as a guide and translator for visiting foreign
reporters. He was abducted with Mr Mastrogiacomo and their driver at a
Taleban checkpoint and originally accused of spying for the British army.
The reporters' driver was beheaded to put pressure on negotiations for their
release.
The BBC's Mark Dummett in Kabul says after intense lobbying from
the Italians, a deal was done. Five Taleban were allowed to go and Mr
Mastrogiacomo was set free. Our correspondent says there was outrage in
Afghanistan that the government would firstly bow to its enemy's demands and
secondly that it would save a foreigner but not an Afghan.
The Taleban are still holding five government medics and two French aid workers along with three Afghan colleagues. Their fate will be decided next, they say.
President Hamid Karzai has ruled out any more hostage deals with the Taleban.
"[Mr Mastrogiacomo] was an extraordinary situation and won't be repeated again," Mr Karzai said on Friday. "No more deals with no-one and with no other country."

Are you kiding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

Another odd case- Female Iraqi suicide bomber! Daym...
This world is becoming a crazy place....... as if you didn't know that already!
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.
PS I am starting work very soon...

Belated entries

2007-04-10T22:51:00.000+04:30
Sister ‘S’ is getting engaged!
Tuesday 3rd April 2006

I haven’t been able to enter any blog entries (poor internet services) so here I am typing it on Microsoft word hoping for a miracle to take place and ta-da internet is connected. YEAH RIGHT!

Once again, I managed to wield my way out of marriage. Tehehehe. But for how long? Never mind, I’ll tackle the proposals one at a time.
In the meantime however, my gorgeous sister S is getting engaged. Yay! She said ‘yes’ to the proposal so basically the pre-wedding procedure happens in three steps (thanks to Mama Haji- dads uncle, for explaining).
Firstly, you have the lafz stage -parental approval of the wedding. It basically involves the parents of both the potential bride and groom to sort out any discrepancies privately and at the same time agree to the engagement. Brides family hands sweets and chocolate to the grooms family. I wish I was told this three years ago! I thought lafz was publicised for EVERYONE. Where the hell was my lifeline when I needed it? Damn it.

Secondly, this is publicised by the shirnee daadan process where the entire world is given the news (okay fine- I exaggerated, not the entire world! Just the afghans which means that news will travel at the speed of light and eventually the entire planet is bound to find out). In all seriousness, this stage hasn’t arrived yet. So I really don’t have a clue what happens.

Thirdly, is the engagement party. Self explanatory, really.

So yeah, tomorrow is the lafz. End of topic, it’s boring me already.

Yesterday we had coffee at Kabul City Centre. I felt like I was in Australia. the shopping cenre, the social atmosphere (it was around 4pm so all the business executives and ‘normal’ people had gathered) it felt like home. I think I found my haven when/if Kabul gets too much for me.

I also bough a huge afghan flag from the famous tourist place- Chicken Street (aka koochayeh morgha).Why? I don’t know. Patriotism. Hehe.
There was another shop with long elegant coats made of mink or wolf skin, cat skin, rabbit- you name it! Animal rights issues aside, they were beautiful. They only cost $500AU for the best in stock. It also comes with fur hats. Elite, classy, stylish.

The best part of today was Chelsea Supermarket. Everything is imported so they’re good quality stuff. I’m talking Cadbury chocolate, Ferrero Rocher, genuine designer perfumes, shampoos etc. Woolies has come to Kabul, YAY! I was so relieved. It’s pricey but who cares, it’s the closest thing to Woolworths.

Oh yeah, we bought a house. Finally! I’ve been living from a suitcase for the past three months. Argh!As I was saying, it’s a huge house. Twenty three rooms, five bathrooms and it’s four-five storeys high. Mashaallah! It was around US$260 000 (roughly 24 million Afghanis). The first thought that came to my head when I heard of the price was ‘imagine how many people that would feed?’

I have a job interview tomorrow. Found out in a very strange way. we were in the car, heading to Kabul City Centre today when a white 4WD with United Nations plates stopped on the side of the road. One of the men signalled for us to pull over. I thought it was trouble. He came over to my window and started talking to me. I had no idea who he was until my brother mentioned his name. he had recognised me (I had been to his office a while ago). He told me to call him later in the day and he’ll notify me abuo the job interview. How very odd! Called him, am due for an interview tomorrow at 1pm.

Returned home to realised that S needs jewelry and shoes to go with the dress. So we went shopping again. Walking to the shops, I noticed a black 4WD slowing down next to us with tinted windows. The guy inside was full on looking. ‘omg is that bejaan?’ the afghan rapper! My sister had a blank look on her face. The guys standing a few metres away from us caused a quick commotion ‘ohooo bejan jaaneh kunduzi’. That confirmed it! It WAS him. Anyways, we went on doing our shopping- we promised dad we’d be home before dark.

Erm.. I’m really very tired. Will write some more later. Dodgy internet.

OMG earthquaaake…

I just felt the ground shake like crazy. I woke Bro S and T, we started freaking out saying we should run downstairs. But outside everyone was pretty normal as if they didn’t feel it. Like it happens in horror movies- you sense stuff no one else can. But yeah, it was the first time something like that happened. Its over now.

Okay right now it’s 8.15am 4 April, I’m in bed. Still no internet connection, I’m tired as but cant sleep, work must be done. I’ve been up since 6am- todays S’s lafz ceremony. Lafz was given. Our driver came at 12pm to pick us up, stopped by at Kabul City Centre (shopping centre) picked up S’s dress (indian stuff). The guy that served us is so nice, he got the dress tailored to fit my sister and he bought my brother anti-acne cream.

Anyways, then we went to my job interview. I was escorted by W to the conference room where I waited for a while. One of the other workers was passing by, he stopped over to say hello and wished me luck for the interview. Interview went extremely well, was interviewed by a german who immediately picked up my Australian accent. She said I was a ‘fantastic candidate’ because of my business expertise and academic studies. She’ll get back to me within a week.

Next stop: mama Haji’s house for the lafz ceremony. I was running late- it was 2pm and people were due at 3pm. And S was asleep when I went in. took her to the salon, did her grooming. Went back, she got dressed. Went in to say hello to the guests. Lafz took place. Presents were distributed- the only recipient was S. she got gold, American dollars and more gold. eventually, they all left.

That was that.

Ba omideh deedaar khuda negahdaar!

Kabul Coffee House

Hezar ranjo aatash o gham..naamash ishq
Hezar dardo gham wa balaah.. naamash yaar
-Rumi

My new hang out place. Went there today for another job interview, atmosphere is so cosy and comfortable. Mainly for foreigners, the only afghans there were the waiters. Dad and I had a pretty long wait, an hour. We had coffee- my first in Afghanistan. Interview went well, got offered a job as a ‘civic development’ lecturer at Kabul University. But my only concern is I HATE TEACHING. But I’ll give it a go-I want to make maximum use of myself, I’m considering working 8am-4pm at my other office (if I get the job) and 4pm-7pm at the university. Hmmm....

Until next time…
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

PS My internet should be connected tomorrow. Oh yeah, got news today- grandparents are flying over from Australia within a matter of weeks. Spoke to my paternal grand dad, man was he happy to hear that S is engaged. Cant wait til he comes. My maternal grandma also arrived from Paki land today.

Not again?! Another suicide blast

Mr Suicide bomber detonated himself this morning at Darulaman, Kabul. He killed 4 instantly, one died on his way to the hospital and 5 were injured.

Left Kabul for the first time. We went to Maidan- mum’s hometown. Grandma wanted to take Nawroozi for her soon to be daughter in law (currently engaged to my uncle). A few days ago there was a crossfire between Taliban fighters and ISAF troops in Maidan. Basically, the city is full of Taliban sympathisers who are truly dedicated to their cause.

We had to cross a river through the water (bridge had collapsed due to floods a few days back). Thankfully it was a 4WD. it was an hours drive, not a nice scene at all (surprisingly!). Compared to Jalalabad and Laghman, it was very dry, plain and flat.

At my mums-brothers- in-laws place, everything was predictable. We had lunch, ladies sang around a dayra. Some ladies got up and danced while others clapped and sang along. Mum told me to dance, I told her I didn’t want to in a subtle way. She kept insisting- literally pulling me by the hand. Jesus Christ!! I don’t want to dance, just want to sit and watch- which part of that don’t they understand? Spent the whole time counting the minutes (our driver instructed us to leave at 4.30pm at the latest due to insecurity along the way). Mum and grandma ended up staying a bit longer- great, more boredom for me! Everything was in Pashto.

Finally, it was time to leave. I said my goodbyes quickly and left for the car taking the front seat. Yay! It meant hearing more jihadi stories from our driver. He told me stories about how he had fought in Maidan for one and a half years during the Soviet invasion and pointed out their tracks through the mountains which they travelled by foot.

Still no internet- DODGY AFGHAN TELECOM! Typing this on Microsoft Word. It was supposed to be connected yesterday!

There’s an engagement party tomorrow at 9am (what the?). Doubt I’ll go! I need to find a job… there’s nothing else to do here. They must have emailed me- but I got no net!

ARGH! I’m going to sign out because I’m getting F R U S T R A T E D.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Untitled
Saturday 7th April

She takes burdened steps into her new life
Her heart cries, her eyes weep
My heart had always wanted you, only you
The wounds you left me with only adds to my beauty
Like the scarred moon…
- Devdas

Ajmal Naqshbandi is still detained with the scruffy Talibans! They have issued an ultimatum which declares for the afghan government to meet their requirements by Monday otherwise they will execute Naqshbandi. I’m dying to find out more, but everything is in Dari (or even worst, Pashto!) and I still have no net. So dodgy!

The song from Devdas came on TV. I’m not a fan of indian movies but I fell in love with ‘Devdas’ when I watched it. It’s truly a classic! Anyways, the song is from the scene where it’s Parvatis final moments with her beloved Devdas before being taken away to her new husband, whom she doesn’t love. It’s all very powerful and emotional.

S and older R went to the engagement party with my grandma and yes, it was at 9am. I stayed home with mum, cooked and helped with the chores (which I HATE). Had to get some groceries for mum so I went with lil R to the shops near our place. I dread passing groups of eyes, I can feel them staring as if they have never seen girls in their entire life. or maybe it’s because they can tell we’re from ‘khaarij’ (referring to the west). as I was walking past I heard two boys talking loudly enough for me to hear, the conversation went something like this:

Guy 1- these girls are from the same place as you are
Guy 2- oh really? From Canada? Where do they live?

I didn’t hear the rest but at this point I just watned to turn around and blast them off verbally. Instead I continued walking, if I had done that- they would have taken it as though I have lead them on. YEAH RIGHT! Wishful thinking!

Rest of the day was spent serving tea, lunch, dinner, tea, tea and more tea. One of dads relatives came over proposing for his son- NOT INTERESTED, MATE! My sisters in laws came over- they came over with sweets and bought her a chunky solid gold bracelet (typical Afghan gift). We too gave them gifts.

I’m getting extremely aggravated with the dodgy internet services here. By the way, water has stopped running but electricity has been good to us. You don’t realise it, but without electricity life is dull. When the power used to return after a day of no electricity my sisters and I would jump for joy yelling, ‘YAY ELECTRICITY IS BACK!’ as if it’s a truck load of chocolates. Believe me, it’s more than that. Imagine life without electricity!

I’m looking forward to tomorrow- I’ll be seeing Kaka Sidiq at the orphanage. Bliss!

Until then…

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar!

Dreamy mood
Sunday 8 April 2007

Az roozeh ke tu rafti pareedeh rangeh shaadi.
Amma khursheed metaabeh mesleh yek roozi aadih
Chetoor haanoz parandeh daareh havayeh parwaaz
Magar khabar nadaran tu rafti az kenaram
Chera baret nagoftan bi tu che haaleh daaram.
Ba chashme khastayeh mann, Asemoon az sang shudeh.
La’nat ba een tanhayee, dilam barat tang shudeh
-Tanhayee (Persian song)

Baran mebaarad emshaab, dilam gham daarad emshaab
Araameh jaaneh khasteh ra mesparam emshab
Qatreh qatreh ashkeh chashmam mechakeh ba nam nammeh baraan

Rangeh chashmat rangeh darya seenayeh mann dashteh ghamha
Yaadem ayad zeereh baraan baa tu boodam, zireh baraan baa tu tanha
Zeereh baraan gerya kardam, bal ke barran shoyad goonah az jaanem.
- Baraan (Omid)

Emshab mikhaam mast beshaam,
Een jaaneh naqabeleh hast, hezar fadayeh tu besheh
Beyofteh zeereh qadam haat, ke khaakeh paayetu besheh

Kohneh sharaab, kohneh sharaab emshab baal o param bedi
Emshab mekham harf bezanam khandeh konam geryeh konam
Lutfee konn saaqi emshab chand barabaram bedi

Emshab parr o baal daram, shoor daram haal daram
- Omid

mmmmm..ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar...

A marriage proposal- not mine!

2007-03-30T01:31:00.001+04:30

Let go of your worries
and be completely clear-hearted,
like the face of a mirror
that contains no images.
If you want a clear mirror,
behold yourself
and see the shameless truth,
which the mirror reflects.
If metal can be polished
to a mirror-like finish,
what polishing might the mirror
of the heart require?
Between the mirror and the heart
is this single difference:
the heart conceals secrets,
while the mirror does not. -Rumi

Cooked today! I’m starting to like it because I’m getting better at it. I cooked goolpi (cauliflower).

I also saw the first proper proposal procedure today, for my sister. The family is a very well respected and educated family- so is the guy asking for my sisters hand. It’s not tradition for the girls family to give an answer straight away, usually takes days (sometimes weeks, months or years). My sister and her potential suitor sat across each other, I sat next to my sister. My sister was too shy to even twitch so I decided to do all the talking asking typical questions which I already knew the answer to (mum and dad had told us before hand). ‘what do you study?’ ‘which year of uni are you currently in?’ ‘Is it hard?’ blah blah blah. He replied in very formal Dari, beyond my comprehension. I tuned out. He would occasionally say a few phrases in English for my understanding (Okay, my Dari may not be the best but I’m not that bad!). Very decent dude. Sisters verdict: pending (yes, I am dying of curiosity).

Also went to Ustaad Sayaafs house (dads paternal cousin, also an MP). Sat, tea served, smiled and nodded. Left. What was the point of going? Just to keep mum company.

On the way back, I realised that women should come out more. This place is suffering from male overflow. If women come out more, then maybe it won’t be so much of a ‘‘man’s world’’.

The past few days I’m feeling better about this place but I ‘lost’ a friend, a soul mate and my confidant. I’m going to miss u a lot. Hopefully, time will reveal all. Farkhunda, if you’re reading this. I miss you!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Human bomb strikes again!

2007-03-28T22:48:00.000+04:30
''Same sh*t, different day!'' - Will Smith (Bad Boys 2)

Just when I decided to stop freaking out, another bomb goes off. A human bomb killing four and injuring his target. I heard about it on the news just before leaving the house this morning. The roads were choc a bloc, many of the roads were blocked and we were detoured.

It was exceptionally crowded, armed French and American soldiers were scattered everywhere. We were running late as it was. Dad said we should have left the house early. Outside, people were talking and shaking their heads in disappointment. You could feel the apprehension- a result of the cruel repercussion.

Soon enough, I became a witness to the aftermath terror of a human bomb. Although they had cleaned up the mess the roads were still wet, security was tight and cars were damaged by shrapnel. Some people were even crying. Our car made it’s way slowly through the scene, the police controlling traffic- risking their lives. I couldn’t think, my mouth became dry in disbelief. Shock horror. I couldn’t see the exact place where the bomb went off, journalists had crowded to take pictures. Four dead and counting. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji oon.

Suicide bomber strikes in Kabul BBC online

The bomb went off not far from the city's main bazaarA suicide bomber has struck in the Afghan capital, Kabul, in an attack apparently aimed at one of the country's
top intelligence officials.
At least four people, plus the bomber, died in the explosion near Kabul's main market, which happened during the morning rush hour, police say. The official, an intelligence service investigations chief, survived.
It is the second bomb attack to hit the capital in just over a week, after months of relative peace. The bomb went off in the centre of Kabul, not far from the city's main bazaar. The bomber struck at one of the busiest times of the day, in the morning rush hour when government workers are on the move.
The BBC's Mark Dummett in Kabul says the blast could be heard right across the city. The target appears to have been Kamaluddin Khan Achikzay, a senior investigator with the intelligence service, but he survived.
At least 12 people were injured in the attack, in addition to the civilian
bystanders who were killed. On 19 March a young Afghan man was killed when a
suicide car bomber attacked a convoy of US embassy officials in the city.
The US officials were unharmed.
Violence in south
It was the first attack of its kind inside Kabul this year, although several deadly blasts last year were blamed on the Taleban. Most attacks take place in the restive
south of the country, where the Taleban have more support and where their
conflict with Nato troops and the Kabul government is predominantly being
fought.
I was glad we hadn’t left the house early.

I sat quietly, tried thinking but I couldn’t. it wasn’t fair, why do the innocent have to die? This country still has unhealed wounds, it doesn’t need situations like this to rub salt on them. I wasn't scared, just angry.

I felt like kicking myself for forgetting to bring my camera. A little while later, a convoy of Afghan men were being transported. Where? To Nimrooz- a province in Afghanistan to battle against the Taliban. There were at least 2000 of them, once again traffic was stopped while the convoy of soldiers made their way. Young men fighting America's dirty war. So young, yet so brave. Still in shock, I stared into their eyes (stupidly) trying to sense their feelings. They were determined and focussed, some were even laughing and joking. I felt an extreme sense of pride for them. They were living proof of Afghan heroism- the same flame of courage which burned in Afghan fighters against Communism decades ago. Wilfred Owens pessimistic war poems began reciting itself in my mind. But my favourite war poem is of an English soldier, Rupert Brooke who fought in WW1.

Patriotic and proud, it goes something like this;

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is forever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed-
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware…
And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her lights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.

The show must go on.

Afghans don’t believe in traffic fines. Yep, even if they were issued- people just won’t pay them. Afghan obstinacy. People chose to park wherever they want. What’s an alternative for the police? Slash their tyres! Pretty extreme, huh?

Went to AFC (afghan substitute for KFC), I was over the moon. Finally found a fastfood store. Towards the end, when paying for the bill one of the workers had a little chat with dad. I went to listen (Afghanistan is full of surprises). Dad told me that the young guy was the owner, a young afghan who had returned to Afghanistan (from Manchester) after 16 years and opened a fastfood chain. Inspiring!

As usual, I took a few bread rolls for the little street children outside. I gently put a hand on his shoulder, just as he turned around he sighted the bread and instantly asked for it. I gave him all three as he shared it amongst the other boys. When will the day come for me to defeat my number one enemy- poverty!

Another emotional encounter happened today while we were waiting for someone in the car. A young boy, around 10 years of age stopped by our car selling tools. Dad, a supporter of education, asked the young boy if he goes to school. The boy nodded. We bought a few screwdrivers. Dad advised him to stay in school and to become someone important. The boy nodded again, barely saying a word. ‘Why the long face?’ dad asked. He replied, ‘I have a headache.’ His ripped schoolbag was on his back as he held his tools for sale. Dad gave him a huge tip ‘for staying in school’. A headache, just finished from school and working on the streets- he had it tough but he smiled in gratitude as he made his way ahead. Children of a disadvantaged war. I genuinely wished the best for him, the least I could do- for the moment!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar…

Fereshta: I got your comment and your email. Thanks hun! I miss you heaps. Check your email and keep yourself posted on this ;) Love you lots and i miss you like crazy crazy crazy! *sings* Az tu dooram, deewana o madhooshi tu am...

Overcoming the culture shock

2007-03-27T23:33:00.000+04:30
Culture shock and emotional constipation. Daym, the past few posts have been nothing more than mere pansy entries. Today, I managed to destroy the culture shock that I had endured (culture shock? culture shock che hast?? boro baba, da ghameh culture shock maandi).

I defered Murdoch uni - didn't have a choice really, still continuing with my other uni. I need to gather myself emotionally and get a grip of myself. No more nagging.

Yes, I managed to wield my way out of going to hamaam (public bath). As a result, spent most of the day at home alone. Did the cleaning and cooking (yep, I actually cooked). We had visitors come over in the afternoon, a proposal for my sister... wohoo!

I really want to help Afghanistan by investing in it's future. i.e the children. Since i have profound experience with the Dept of Justice in Australia and found that the system we have there for juvenile delinquents is almost perfect- at the same time it integrates well with Islamic teachings and Shariah.

In Afghanistan anyone seven years and up can be charged for a criminal offence. Currently there are some 45 juveniles aged from seven to eighteen who have been arrested and detained with adults. Seventy per cent await trial and the rest have been convicted. The national strategy, led by the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) aims to strengthen juvenile justice administration including establishing a focal point in the MOJ; set up new premises for the Kabul Youth Court and train experts on juvenile justice. The strategy includes reform of corrections' administrations for offenders as well as the establishment of a residential institution for offenders aged 15-18 in Kabul. The aim is to extend these initiatives to the provinces later.

Okay, freak-0ut moment! Just found this article (see below). Looks like I'll be dead!

Suicide bomber kills four Afghan police
Tuesday Mar 27 18:52
AEST
Disguised as an Afghan soldier, a suicide bomber blew himself up in
front of a police headquarters and killed at least four policemen in southern
Afghanistan on Tuesday, witnesses said.Several other people were wounded in the attack in Lashkar Gah, the capital of Helmand province, the main drug-producing region of Afghanistan, the world's leading heroin producer.
NATO forces have launched a major offensive in Helmand as spring
heralds the return of the fighting season.NATO and Afghan forces have killed dozens of Taliban fighters in battles in recent days.
Last year was the bloodiest since the Taliban's ouster in 2001, with 4,000 people dying.The rebels have promised to step up suicide attacks as part of a return to
conventional guerrilla attacks this year.
Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar
PS Just read an article revealing that Anthony Callea's gay- i'm shattered! Why? why? why?

'I love a sunburnt country...'

2007-03-27T00:05:00.000+04:30

I am who I am- the best of two cultures held high by the universal religion, Islam!

I finally managed to get that assignment done... yay! Submitted it online last night.Nothing major today, spent the day indoors again. Didn't study at all, my brains suffering from information overload at the moment thanks to my essay. Have to hit the books again tomorrow.

It's 12.30am and TV is on (Tolo channel, of course). All else is asleep like the rest of Afghanistan. Ahmad Zahir just came on 'bakhuda tang ast dilam, tang ast dilam, tang ast dilam' (one of my favourite songs).

Sayaf's house was raided today by Coalition forces in search of weapons and ammunition. It's funny considering he's an MP and a representative of the Karzai gov't. (I won't delve into politics! Too sleepy...)

Got nothing else to say.

I had a dream last night, all my friends were graduating university... but me! *sigh*

Oh yeah, A.A asked me today 'what about Australia?' Mate, I still call Australia home. If it weren't for Australia, I wouldn't be here today. I appreciate everything Australia has given me and it will always be my home for as long as it welcomes me. The bond that my parents have with Afghanistan, I guess I have the same bond with Australia. I grew up there, I have lived all my life there. Australia has given me the education and the expertise to help Afghanistan. It would be selfish of me if I didn't acknowledge that. Right now, I get a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about Australia because I miss it. But Afghanistan is in desparate need of me. Australia will always be my 'sunburnt country'!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

...nostalgic memories

2007-03-26T00:01:00.000+04:30

Ahmad Zahir. Omid. University essay. Poetry. Books.

I’ve come to accept the sad fact that I have to defer university for another semester or maybe even a year *sniff sniff*. It’s really not fair. Oh well, no point nagging and whingeing. Whats done is done. I’m still doing two units at another uni though, I deferred three units.

What a waste of time, I wanted to finish this semester which is why I did seven units last semester and six the semester before. I feel like such a loser. Basically I spent the whole day chucking a sad about my studies and freaking out. Maybe I shouldn’t have come at all but that wasn’t an option.

Siblings all enrolled at school today. I stayed home.

Not much to do here, this place is tiny (I thought our city was small) but I still don’t know my way around. That’s not good because if I don’t have anything to do-
I get bored!
And when I get bored,
I start missing home and friends!

I was listening to Gokhan Ozen today and it reminded me of my car and driving on the highway. It’s tough out here. I feel like someone’s amputated my arms and legs and I can’t do anything, I don’t know why. It could be because I’m bludging around and not making use of myself- something I’m not used to. I need to find a life since I cant return to my old one.

Excuse the pessimism, I’m presently in a critical disposition so I’ll end it here.

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.

Karzai's New Year's speech- PATHETIC!

2007-03-24T20:12:00.000+04:30
He said, ‘you have pleaded your case but you have no witness.’
I said, ‘my tears are my witness, the pallor of my face is my proof.’
He said, ‘your witness has no credibility, your eyes are too wet to see.’ - Rumi

Went to Lesee Maryam, shopping arena. Crowded and dusty. Weather was bright and sunny. For the first time in Kabul I felt uncomfortable. Dressed in jeans and a knee length top, I received unwanted attention. I bought a black juba and wore it over my clothes. Felt so much better. Finally found Ahmad Zahir MP3s. His entire CD collection is on 2 cds. I was a happy girl.

The clothes stores were years behind in fashion. I’m paranoid now! There was NOTHING which suited my liking. I need to find a European designer store, IF they have any here. Menswear is fine, they have the latest gear for them but ladies wear is appalling. That’s not fair! I need serious help.

Electricity and power have been pretty full on- there haven’t been any blackouts or water shortage. Karzai finally decided to take some action I guess- it’s the least he could do. I found his new year speech appalling! He made no promises to the afghan people (maybe because he is incapable of fulfilling it). Karzai simply prayed for the new year to be filled with ‘rain, snow, peace and friendship with Pakistan’. Okay, lets break this down;

Rain and snow- fair enough, rain and snow bring blessing! Its all good for the Afghans who have solid built houses (including karzai himself). But what shelter will the Karzai and his ‘influential’ MP’s grant for the sixty thousand children who don’t have a roof over their heads? The widows whose husbands died in defence of their country and religion? Where’s their source of warmth?

Peace and friendship with Pakistan- okay okay, hold on a second. No one’s taken out AK 47’s and Kalashnikovs to butcher the Pakis. Are we supposed to fall to their feet? Is that ‘friendship’? also, the only friendship that needs to take place is political diplomacy between the two countries. So that includes Karzai and Musharraf (whose currently on the verge of political demise).

Hmmm…..

What about defeating corruption in the police force? The thousands of young men and women who are serving and risking their lives but are one of the lowest paid workers in the country. Maybe if he stopped overflowing the pockets of his MP’s with American dollars and provided a slight pay rise, corruption will cease.

How about employment of the illiterate (which make up an extreme amount of the afghan population), beggars, old, disabled people by building factories and bakeries? Even the illiterate are able to be of assistance and feel that they are an integral part of Afghan society.

Karzai needs to be educated. Karzai needs to take a walk down any street in Kabul and just spend thirty seconds of his precious time with a begging child. He will find that amid the thousands, hidden amongst rags and torn clothes, concealed behind a coat of dust built on their rough skin there is our future doctor, engineer, lawyer, teacher or perhaps, president. A child who holds immense potential and a thirst for education but have been deprived and silenced, these children are capable of being the pre-eminent in society, yet their status is diminutive and miniscule- compliments to their restrained financial status and Karzai’s disability to create (even a dim) glimmer of hope.

Do something, Karzai. Do something!

Anyways, I have an assignment due before Monday. I haven’t started at all. Looks like I’m going to have an all-nighter. My only source of information is internet and internet is so slow. Shoot me dead!

Ba omideh deedaar, khuda negahdaar.